Lack of Sex Now Punishable in France!

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Comrades, we have achieved a milestone in our quest to make the lives of the people better by micromanaging every last detail of them. Our colleagues in Eurasia Europe, who have previously given the world great advances such as Marxism, Nazism and the Euro, have now extended their enlightened technocratic control of the masses into their bedrooms:

The UK Telegraph wrote:
Frenchman ordered to pay wife damages for lack of sex

A Frenchman has been ordered to pay his ex-wife £8,500 in damages for failing to have enough sex with her during their marriage.

The rare legal decision came after the wife filed for divorce two years ago, blaming the break-up on her husband's lack of activity in the bedroom.

A judge in Nice, southern France, then granted the divorce and ruled the husband named only as Jean-Louis B. was solely responsible for the split.

But the 47-year-old ex-wife then took him back to court demanding 10,000 euros in compensation for “lack of sex over 21 years of marriage”.

The ex-husband claimed “tiredness and health problems” had prevented him from being more attentive between the sheets.


Love was always beautiful, and it is even more so now that the glorious state is there to monitor and apply proper regulatory oversight to it!

This groundbreaking action by the French will set a precedent of unprecedented proportions, giving rise to new laws, regulations and government agencies throughout the Western world, especially Amerikka. I forsee this catalyzing a regulatory frenzy which will do for relationships what the Community Reinvestment Act did for housing!

Think of it! Sex partners will be soon be required to fill out forms detailing when, where and why (or why not) each time they have sex and rate the quality of same for sampling purposes. Armies of new regulators will need to be hired to ensure compliance and accurate reporting. Trillions of reports will need to be written on the data for high-level regulators (and unlike other reports, these may actually be read!) A cabinet level Department of Sexual Relations Quality Assurance will have to be formed to categorize, analyze, compartmentalize and subsidize all this information with the ultimate goal of making all Amerikkan's sex lives happy whether they like it or not! This is a totalitarian nanny-statists dream! I am so thrilled, I think I am going to.... ah, better not, I don't feel like filling out a form right now.

Think of it! Instead of having a filthy stinking cigarette after doing the horizontal tango, couples will instead do their healthy inspiring patriotic duty of filling out a government form!

And I don't have to tell you what else this means, do I comrades? Well, maybe I do since you're all progressives. Let me spell it out for you in a three-letter word like genius VP Joe Biden would: J-O-B-S! Yes, that's right, all this hiring we will be doing will create zillions and zillions of JOBS. And they will be good jobs, too, like peeking in people's windows to make sure the stuff they write down on their forms is accurate. Unlike stupid jobs drilling for dirty oil and natural gas, these will be productive jobs, producing tons and tons of government data not to mention all the cheap thrills.

Comrades, this is what we have been waiting for, the idea we need to stimulate the economy (amongst other things) and propel Dear Leader Barack Obama to the FIRST of his many second terms! AMERIKKA IS BACK, THANKS TO FRANCE!

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Where do I get the proper forms? It has been many election cycles since I have had relations...

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the TRUE believers in Next Tuesday are more than willing to assist you: Image Image Image Strong women, all of them. Able to hoe many beets and fulfill thier duties.

I'm still trying to convert this one to the new policies of the Party™ to avoid punishment under this topic... Image

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Tovarichi wrote:the TRUE believers in Next Tuesday are more than willing to assist you:
Strong women, all of them. Able to hoe many beets and fulfill thier duties.

Any of these fine maidens will do.... could someone kill the lights on the way out though?

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The most outstanding feature of this legislation: the man was not fined because of what he did, he was fined for what he failed to do.
This can open the door to government crimes and fines for imaginary crimes that you did not commit. It could bring jurisprudence to a purely hypothetical level and a new French Revolution for thought crimes or non crimes, all punishable by large fines!