According to the Defense Intelligence Agency, the misguided and bellicose Rep. Douglas Lamborn, from Colorado Oblast, attempted to force the People's ™ Commissar Gen. Martin Dempsey, to lie repeatedly about the peace loving State of North Korea. Yes it is true, the Republican bully Lamborn caught Comrade Dempsey "off-guard" and forced him to say North Korea is capable of launching Intercontinental Ballistic Missiles which are armed with thermo-nuclear warheads, and are aimed directly at Seattle, Portland, and San Francisco.

According to witnesses, Lamborn began to foam at the mouth, rotating his head 360 degrees, firing hateful, venomous questions at Comrade Dempsey, all claiming our friends in North Korea are not friendly at all. Like any good progressive, Comrade Dempsey went along with the maniacal Lamborn for a few minutes, before saying, "Hammer time, I told you homeboy, u can't touch this." Dempsey then threw down, as Comrade Chuck Hagel looked on in sympathy. Rep Lamborn was relentless in his chants, completely indifferent to the sensitive and caring nature of Dempsey.

Backing Comrade Dempsey into a corner, Lamborn lied repeatedly about our friends, the North Koreans and their right to nuclear power solely for purposes of providing much needed energy to the masses. Finally, asserting his Constitutional right, Dempsey said he chooses not to answer any more of the evil Bible thumping Lamborn's hurtful questions.

Commissar Chuck Hagel, after seeing Demsey brought to tears, parroted our friend Comrade Lawrence O'Donnell, "OK, Doug, let's have a little talk, just you and me," Hagel said. “When I hear you talking smack, why do I get the feeling that you've never actually taken a punch or thrown a punch? I didn't have that luxury in the part of Boston that I grew up in. So you want to take a swing at someone for taking the fifth? Take a swing at me. C'mon, C'mon. And don't worry, there won't be any Secret Service involved. And I'll make it easy for you. I'll come to you. Anytime. Anywhere. Go ahead, Douglas. Take your best shot.”

After Comrade Dempsey and Hagel's forthrightness, There wasn't a dry progressive eye in the room. Rumors swirled that President Barack Hussein Obama (PBUH) broke away from his small get together with Justin Timberlake, Beyonce and Jay Z, to personally thank General Dempsey with a one year subscription to the fiery Bolshevik rhetoric of the NY Times and Boston Globe.

Celestial Convergence reports:"Seoul officials say there are high chances that Pyongyang could fire off a missile around April 15 to mark the birthday of late founding leader Kim Il-sung, the current ruler Kim Jong-un's grandfather. Last year, the North unsuccessfully conducted a rocket launch days before the 100th anniversary of Kim's birth. On Wednesday, Foreign Minister Yun Byung-se told lawmakers that there is a very high probability North Korea would test launch medium-range missiles at any time, with the timing depending on a political decision. While some media reported that the North is believed to have finished fueling its missiles, the last step for a liftoff, the shift of missile locations raised questions about the information because moving fuel-injected missiles could destabilize them. Experts say the single-warhead, liquid-fuel missile can be on standby up to one week after it is filled with fuel, which reportedly takes about 30 minutes."

There is no problem with the Dingdong missile comrades. Kim is merely waiting for his Obama EBT transfer before fueling.

"Finally, asserting his Constitutional right, Dempsey said ...."


This seems to be the real problem: amyone assuming that some dead, smelly as a powdered wig piece of parchment (not even labeled for recycling) matters. We
need only be guided by His Vision of Tuesday™ and all will be Tuesday™

We should not have to be forcing our peoples to "lie repeatedly" since lying is good, positive thing to be partaking. Example is most decided liar, ex- defunked presidente Bill "Lewinsky" Clinton, who was awarded awards for his lying (and still is grand Party pooh bah). We should be proud of our liars and encourage more of such doings, should we not? Democratic Party is the Party of lies and liars and we should be proud and hail to all!

You're exactly right, dear Frau. The media during the Klintone years aggressively and vehemently admonished us -- in a low information sort of way -- of the many virtues of lying. Lying is good. It hurts no one because it compassionately spares those from the truth, and we know only truth hurts. Lying saves people their self-respect and dignity. White lies are good and probably the only "white" thing not considered 'racist'.

Just think if the Politburo had to tell the truth about everything! Do you really think Obombo would have been elected twice if he weren't lying? What do you think his big ears and a dime can buy you nowadays?

In The World Of Next Tuesday™, Lying is ALWAYS GOOD! For example, if your "Commisarka" asks you, "Does This Potato Sack Make My Butt Look Big," then if you are disinclined to spend months (maybe years) in Siberia, then your shameless, lying answer is automatically, "OH, NO! - It Looks GREAT!" (And you know what I mean about "Siberia...")

Apparatchik Unkulturny wrote:..."Does This Potato Sack Make My Butt Look Big," ...

In the case of our dear First Horse a potato sack can easily be converted into a feedbag. Does it make her butt look big? Only if you're into insulting potato sacks and putting them in a poor light, but the influence should be duly noted.

Apparatchik Unkulturny wrote: "Does This Potato Sack Make My Butt Look Big,"

In Moo-chelle's case: "Does my fat butt make this potato sack look big?"