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Lincoln's portrait removed for picture of the first dogs

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WASHINGTON - In a announcement from the White House today the portrait of the sixteenth president of the United States, Abraham Lincoln, was removed from its location in favor of an image of the Obama's Portuguese Water Dogs Sunny and Bo.

The decision was made by The First Lady Michelle Obama, who was not shy in explaining why she had the portrait removed.

"It just always bothered me every single time I walked by it. It looks like some creepy old malnourished white guy with sunken cheeks and bad posture. That's nothing to be proud of, and honestly it sets a bad example. It's not like the guy has done anything for us recently anyways. He's been dead for like what? Three hundred years now? At least with Sunny and Bo up there it makes the room a little more warm and inviting instead of some dark picture of some dead white guy."

The Lincoln portrait will be most likely kept in storage next to the portraits of Arthur, Cleveland, Harrison, and Taft, who are also scheduled for removal as bad role models in the First Lady's campaign against obesity.

"Who wants pictures of fat and old white guys in their home? It's really disturbing and I shouldn't have to look at them," stated Mrs. Obama.

Until the replacements for the portraits are determined, the First Lady will be content having blank spaces on the wall while she decides on something more appropriate.

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Comrade Chedoh, most glorious! Yes, all these portraits of fat old white men just encourage bad behavior. I think in their place should be multiple pictures of progressive hero, Teddy Kennedy!

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All images of Rethuglikkkans could be replaced with those dogs playing cards, or perhaps even the beloved "velvet Elvis"

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Not Velvet Elvis. He stole all his talent from black people.

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Is it safe yet to put up pictures of some of our heros, like Pol Pot, Reverend Jim Jones, Charles Manson, etc.?

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Yes comrades, most glorious contributions! I shall send a dispatch mentioning you all to FLOTUS immediately!

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In the meantime, pictures and stuff are also disappearing from the walls in the lower income bracket...

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Congratulations are in order to Comrade Chedoh - his story was debunked as FALSE by Snopes.com within hours after posting. They call it "false," we call it The Current Truth™!
Snopes wrote:Dog Gone

Claim: A portrait of Abraham Lincoln was removed from the White House to make way for a picture of the Obamas' pet dogs.

FALSE

Example: [Collected via e-mail, April 2015]

Is this true?

Lincoln's Portrait Removed for Picture of the First Dogs

Origins: On 8 April 2015, the web site The People's Cube published an article positing that a portrait of revered U.S. president Abraham Lincoln had been removed from display on a wall at the White House in order to make room for the hanging of a picture of the First Family's pet dogs:

Read more at https://www.snopes.com/media/notnews/dogportrait.asp

Here's a screenshot (with ads and some extra stuff removed to save space).

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One day after posting this story has accumulated over 14,400 shares in social media and close to 21,000 page views.

It has also attracted over 15,000 additional new visitors to the Cube within only a few hours.

This deserves a promotion to Mother Page.

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Comrade Chedoh does it again! Congratulations comrade Chedoh at being more equal.

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I am unworthy of praise comrades, I am merely a humble servant of "the truth" and the progressive cause. Now give me another congratulatory shot of beet vodka!

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Congratulations, Chedoh! You've just been awarded Pinkie's prestigious Beet of the Week Award!™

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Of course, since funding for the BOTW program was gutted due to Sequestration, the Koch Brothers, and Climate Change, you'll have to make do with a BOTW redistributed by Superkommissar Maksim. He'll understand there comes a time when one has been awarded enough Beets of the Week.

I also had to sneak out after dark to peel this off his mother's car:

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Tell your mom not to worry. Mama Maksim has so many of them plastered on that old heap of hers that I doubt she'll ever notice. Besides, I did her a huge favor. She now has a rectangular peephole in her windshield.

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Comrade Pinkie, I humbly accept this award and will put it on the back of my mother's smart car! (She will be so surprised when she comes back from that Siberian work camp!) I would also like to thank you for my very first ever "Beet of the Week" award! I am brought to tears by such a prestigious honor.

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Viva Chedoh!

Your tab is always open at the distilery that may or may not exist in the toolroom of tractor barn #2, we're sending the bill to Ripley s, who will never believe it...

Krasnodar has been sent to camp or something so we're trying a new recipe. The paint is peeling from the outside of the 55 gal drum it's been fermenting in, I'm sure it's ready!

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Well done, Chedoh. You will be exempt from show trials for fully one week.

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Red Square wrote:One day after posting this story has accumulated over 14,400 shares in social media and close to 21,000 page views.

It has also attracted over 15,000 additional new visitors to the Cube within only a few hours.

This deserves a promotion to Mother Page.
Praise be to Marx the All Wise, Lenin the Beneficent, and Stalin the Merciful! The goals of our latest Five Year Plan have been met within a week!

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Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:Viva Chedoh!

Your tab is always open at the distilery that may or may not exist in the toolroom of tractor barn #2, we're sending the bill to Ripley s, who will never believe it...

Krasnodar has been sent to camp or something so we're trying a new recipe. The paint is peeling from the outside of the 55 gal drum it's been fermenting in, I'm sure it's ready!

Don't tease me with a good time, Comrade! This tractor shed brew sounds very tempting. However I would like to fit the rest of the inner party on the tab and redistribute the bill to Mr. Ripley and other wealthy capitalist pigs. Also, where is Comrade Red Rooster these days? Did someone leave the gulag door open again?

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I heard there was no inner party. To speak of. And they don't meet in ....

One moment, some jerk is pounding on the door, yelling something about National Security...BRB

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Are you still there, Comrade Ivan? you are taking a very long time to come back from answering that door.

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Chedoh wrote: Also, where is Comrade Red Rooster these days? Did someone leave the gulag door open again?

Now that you mentioned him. I have become suspicious about the tapping of left shoes to be less rhythmic and more spontaneous. I have placed some hidden mics to record throughout the factory.

There is a record of more tapping on the wall that separates the artist building from the left shoe factory. I am currently glossing through the Morse Code sheet.

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Speaking of dogs, I haven't seen any direct transmissions from Laika either lately. I'm starting to think some sneaky capitalist plot is afoot here....

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Hammer and Loupe wrote:
Chedoh wrote: Also, where is Comrade Red Rooster these days? Did someone leave the gulag door open again?

Now that you mentioned him. I have become suspicious about the tapping of left shoes to be less rhythmic and more spontaneous. I have placed some hidden mics to record throughout the factory.

There is a record of more tapping on the wall that separates the artist building from the left shoe factory. I am currently glossing through the Morse Code sheet.

You don't suspect him of being a, dare I say, potential defect do you?

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Chedoh wrote:
Hammer and Loupe wrote:
Now that you mentioned him. I have become suspicious about the tapping of left shoes to be less rhythmic and more spontaneous. I have placed some hidden mics to record throughout the factory.

There is a record of more tapping on the wall that separates the artist building from the left shoe factory. I am currently glossing through the Morse Code sheet.

You don't suspect him of being a, dare I say, potential defect do you?

Do not know, but will find out.

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Nope. No inner party.

Not now, not ever. All are equal.
(Except my ration of beets for this week which was just "taxed" for "conspiring to reveal Party Secrets"...)

Where were we?

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Well, I translated this message, but more will come.> . .- - / -- --- .-. . / -... . . ..-.

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hmmm..... Looks like a bunch of chicken scratches and pecking to me...

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Whoops! Forgot to give you the translation.

. .- - / -- --- .-. . / -... . . ..-.
-> (Eat More Beef)

I also came across this.

- .-. .- -.. . / -.-- --- ..- / ..-. --- ..- .-. / .-.. . ..-. - / ... .... --- . ... / ..-. --- .-. / .- / -... .- --. / --- ..-. / .--- . .-.. .-.. -.-- / -... . .- -. ...
->Trade you four left shoes for a bag of jelly beans

.-- .. .-.. .-.. / -.-- --- ..- / -.- -. --- -.-. -.- / .. - / --- ..-. ..-. / -... . ..-. --- .-. . / .. / -... .-. .. -. --. / --- ..- - / -- -.-- / ... .... --- ...- . .-.. .-.-.-
->Will you knock it off before i bring out my shovel.

- .... .-. --- .-- / .. -. / -.-. --- -- -- .. ... ... .- .-. -.- .- / .--. .. -. -.- .. . .----. ... / ... .... --- ...- . .-.. / .- -. -.. / .. / .-- .. .-.. .-.. / .- -.. -.. / - .... . / ... .--. . -.-. .. .- .-.. / -... .- - -.-. .... / --- ..-. / ...- --- -.. -.- .-
-> Throw in Commissarka Pinkie's shovel and I will add the special batch of vodka

.. / -.. --- -. .----. - / -.- -. --- .-- / .-- .... --- / -.-- --- ..- / .- .-. . / -... ..- - / .. ..-. / -.-- --- ..- / - --- ..- -.-. .... / -- -.-- / ... .... --- ...- . .-.. --..-- / .. / .-- .. .-.. .-.. / ..-. .. -. -.. / -.-- --- ..- / .- -. -.. / .. / .-- .. .-.. .-.. / -.- .. .-.. .-.. / -.-- --- ..-
->I don't know who you are but if you touch my shovel, i will find you and i will kill you

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Congrats are in order for the Peoples Snack, Comrade Chedoh! A true "Current Truth" artist!


 
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