Glorious news, comrades!

You already miss this year's Ramadan Bombathon? Your family lives in a country with few Muslims? You envy your European friends who get to know the joyful and open-minded religion that is Islam, with its peaceful suicide bombings, its feminist-friendly female oppression, and its cultural annihilation?

Then it is time for you to buy our new board game!

From the teams of proles that brought you the People's Cube™ and Political Korrekntess™:

"Living with moderate muslims, the board game™" (Amerikkan Version).

This game will make a great Christmas present! It can be ordered for the right party approved price (subject to change according to Korrektnes of the buyer) at the Party webshop or through private correspondence with the ministry of Truth (or just spam Oleg relentlessly with requests to sell it to you).

Some international customer reviews:

"I live in Japan, and have never seen a muslim. Now finally my family can enjoy the thrill of permanent danger and paranoia caused by mass muslim migration!"

"Here in Bavaria we do not have a lot of muslims. We envy the people from Cologne and Sweden who get to enjoy Taharrush rapefests and retarded cultural violence. Now finally we can share in this cultural enrichment!"

"Here in Egypt our Christian church was just burned by an angry muslim mob. But now, instead of going to church, we can spend our sundays playing together and strenthening the bonds of our family."

"I living pakistan, I cut your head, I rape you and your eyes, I rape you mother, I kil kill you Western man, I kill you!"

As you see, you make no mistake ordering this game right now! As an extra, the first 10 clients who order through our webshop get an extra beet ration card!

GET YOUR SHOVELS!

Also, I would like all motivated comrades (that is, those not yet on the death list), to help me expand and improve the rulebook below!

SET OF RULES:
~

Now, in an exclusive People's Cube™ publication, the set of rules for the American version of this game:

LIVING WITH MODERATE MUSLIMS™, AMERICAN VERSION: RULEBOOK v1.0

1. Goal of the game:

Buy a plane ticket to Hungary, where Viktor Orban prevents any jihadists from entering, and you can live a safe and happy life!

2. Before the game:

The game is best played with 4 - 8 persons.The game is played clockwise, pick the sequence of players and the first player to make a move in whatever way you like (eg, drawing straws, rolling dice...).

Each player gets (just have a volunteer distribute them):Three political campaign cards (one of each: leftist, conservative, neutral).

3. Actual Game: Sequence in each Turn

A: Election day

Each player can try to persuade the other players to vote one way or another (leftist, conservative, or neutral). Exchanging dollar tokens, gun tokens or business tokens is allowed. Promises are non binding of course.After a few minutes of verbal "persuasion":

Each player has to play a political campaign card.You put your campaign card on the table face down.Once everyone has played, the cards are turned.Most votes wins, in case of a tie or all neutral, the leftists win.

B: Government action

If leftists win:

• • Everyone who voted leftist, gets an extra dollar token from the bank.
    
  • The income from the businesses in the next part of the turn (part C) goes to one pile and is then distributed amongst those who voted leftist, (not necessarily the business owners). If you have on or more coins that can not be divided, give them back to the bank.
    
  • If you have a gun token (or two), you have to give it back to the bank or pay one dollar token per gun token you want to keep (you can have maximum two guns).
    
  • People who voted conservative have to pay one dollar to the bank. If they can not, they lose their "action" move (part D) this turn.

If conservatives win:

• • The people who voted conservative and have one or more businesses, get an extra dollar token.
    
  • A "conservative action" card is taken randomly from the "conservative action pile" and put face up in the middle of the table. The effect of this card is immediate, but lasts only this turn (afterwards, they go back in the pile).

Card types from the "conservative action pile":

• • Build A Wall: no muslim immigration possible this turn (in part E). After the turn, put card back in deck.
    
  • Military spending: if any player is attacked in part E of the turn, this card is an extra protection and functions as if the player had an extra "gun token". After the turn, put card back in deck.
    
  • Border Patrol: no terrorist attack will happen if the muslim dice throws a 5 this turn. After the turn, put card back in deck.
    
  • Second amendment: Guns cost only 2 dollars next turn. After this turn, put card back in deck.
    
  • Breitbart Card: conservatives get two extra votes next turn. Also, in part E of this turn, no "Media Cover Up possible". After the turn, put card back in deck.
    
  • Muhammed Cartoons: conservatives get one extra vote next turn. After this turn, put card back in deck.
    
  • Trade deal: Next turn, players get one extra dollar for each business token they have. After this turn, put card back in deck.*People's Cube: no media cover up possible in part E of this turn. After the turn, put card back in deck.

C: Pay day moment:

Each player gets one dollar token as basic income. Each player gets one extra dollar for each "business" token he has.

D: Player action

In the sequence that has been decided on before the game, each player can (but does not have to) make one or more "actions."

• • Place a "business" token. Cost: 2 dollars.
    
  • Buy a "gun" token (you can have maximum 2 gun tokens) Cost: 4 dollars.
    
  • Buy a "plane ticket to Hungary." Cost: 15 dollar tokens. If you make this choice, you have to immediately roll a normal dice, called the "plane jihad" dice.

If it's 2, 4 or 6: your plane is attacked.
If it's 1, 3 or 5: YOU WIN THE GAME!

If your plane is attacked: If you have no gun tokens: the plane explodes, you lose and leave the game. If you have a gun token, take this token away and roll the "plane jihad" dice again. (With two gun tokens you obviously have two chances to "dodge the bullet").

E: Roll the "MUSLIM DICE":

If you roll 5 or 6: TERROR ATTACK! A volunteer will distribute the " TERROR CARDS". If you get the "allahu akbar!" card, you are attacked.

If you roll 3 or 4: MEDIA COVER UP! Each player tries to get hold of the moderate muslim doll, while shouting "IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ISLAM". The one who gets the doll, gets two dollar tokens.

If you roll 1 or 2: MUSLIM IMMIGRATION! Place an extra muslim doll on the table, next turn you will have to roll two "muslim dices".

F: Next turn starts. Go back to "A".

Comrade Minitrue,

Your new board game sounds like super fun for family night with the kids!

I have a HOT SALES TIP for you ....... two words........ Minneapolis, Minnesota.

Somali Muslims march upscale MN town - threaten to rape homeowner.

Your game will fly like hot cakes off the shelf! It will be as BIG as PLASTICS! (even though that was only one word)

Hmmmm....Obviously, HOT Samolis.

.
brilliant! drawback: winner has to learn, uh, Hungarian. oy-oy-oy-oy-oy-oy-oy.

Sorely needed are cards that award players extra lives.

Dedhedvedev wrote:Sorely needed are cards that award players extra lives.

I hope you're happy:

Are there rewards of virgins (up to but not to exceed 72) for winners?

All I know is that Comrade Minitrue has made the right move with this post and got himself another promotion to the Mother Page.

In addition, let me suggest consider this meaningful modification:


This has naturally grown out of an older thread:

Las Vegas: Candidates Pledge to End Losing Streaks

And, in view of the last night's shooting of police by #BlackLivesMatter:

[img]/images/Dice_BLM_COPS_Gaming_Rules.jpg[/img]

Comrade Stierlitz wrote:

Dedhedvedev wrote:Sorely needed are cards that award players extra lives.

I hope you're happy:

BuddhaBonus.jpg

But reincarnated as what? Buddha's choice?

Dedhedvedev wrote:

Comrade Stierlitz wrote:

Dedhedvedev wrote:Sorely needed are cards that award players extra lives.

I hope you're happy:

BuddhaBonus.jpg

But reincarnated as what? Buddha's choice?

You roll a die. Anything under 6 you reincarnate as a human. If it's a 6 you reincarnate as a politician. Or you can take a chance and use the Buddha's Choice option and have the chance to come back as a humanity-killing virus, an abortion machine, or a section of roadway.

Phew, you had me worried. I think I'd go with a section of roadway, but it must be the roadway shown at the beginning of Gus Van Sant's film My Own Private Idaho. Is that possible, or could I end up trapped in a bad neighborhood in Chicago?

Dedhedvedev wrote:Phew, you had me worried. I think I'd go with a section of roadway, but it must be the roadway shown at the beginning of Gus Van Sant's film My Own Private Idaho. Is that possible, or could I end up trapped in a bad neighborhood in Chicago?

myownidaho.png

In Limbo, if you get the roadway option, you get to choose your favorite of the following:

Detroit Ghetto Road
Pennsylvania Road
Desert Road
German Autobahn Road
Russian Car Crash Road
Skyline Drive Road
Chicago Ghetto Road
Private Idaho Road
California Coastline Road
Los Angeles Ghetto Road
Rust Belt Road
Under Construction Road
Interstate 80 Road
Brooklyn Bridge Road
Indian Road*
Lincoln Highway Road
Bolivian Death Road
Daytona 500 Road

*see: Indian Driving Test

And if the Government of Limbo is feeling unusually peppy that day you'll get your favorite. If it isn't it'll just determine which roads have surpluses and put you in a completely opposite road which may or may not be your favorite.

.
Now I grasped your artful deception, you devilish Progressivist, heh-heh, you Manneken Piece !

Minitrue wrote:1. Goal of the game:

Buy a plane ticket to Hungary, where Viktor Orban prevents any jihadists from entering, and you can live a safe and happy life!

you say, he-he-he.

Naïve players, will fight tooth and nail for that ticket, will turn over their last euro, I mean, dollar¹! Thinking, they get a chance for Paradise on Earth, them idiots, heh-heh !

And what do they get ? Huh, they land in an ossified Austro-Hungarian remnant, just yesterday ruled by a Kaiser, an imperialist if there is any, and today reigned by a ruthless dictator — a dwarfish chauvinist, wild-eyed separatist, Hitlerite nationalist, and attested pariah of the Glorious EUSSR².

While at the same time losing all the grandeur and refinement of the intercultural sophistication outside the narrow borders of Hungary. Hungary, phew, which anyway is little more than puszta,, a benighted wilderness filled with grassy emptiness .


¹ yet another trick of yours, Exalted Brusselaise — dumbos think "dollar good", a knee-slapper.

² just watch this — Monsieur "le Schüncker", assumed "President-Nr-1" among the (four, or is it nineteen ?) "Parallel-Presidents-of-EU" (May 2015) :


add-on : a sample — 9 minutes of Orban realism, plainly spoken, in English (Feb. 2016) here.
advanced : 16 minutes, Orban explains the Hungarian rationale of EU vs. nation states balance.

(Sounds like Trump ? accurate diagnosis, straight talk ? sure it does. And Hungary, indeed, acted - sealing off its border. Soon supported and followed by Austria, Slovakia and Poland. And all them later helping non-EU Macedonia to close the last Balkan route bottleneck. That way the Balkan route was pushed back to Greece, thereby forcing the Greek Gov. and the EU Apparatus to finally "do something". The shitty "deal" of dse Great Chairwoman of Dshermania with the wannabe-Sultan of Bosphorus followed.)

Comrade Minitrue - it seems that almost every day brings a new update to your story, proving that having Muslims around in your country is always a gamble, like playing lottery, or some other exciting game like the Russian roulette.

Orlando, Nice, the ax attack in Swabia... They begin to sound like game cards from the board game of your invention.

Comrade Square, the joys of mass migration are finally upon us! I only pity my Amerikkan friends, who do not know the thrill of going to the supermarket, taking the train or celebrating a national holiday with that ever-present tingling sensation: "What will the wacky muslim do next?".

PS: I hope the sales of the board game will be put to good use! Like buying plane tickets for radical clerics or something...