The All-Seeing Eye

At 6:45am this morning, The One opened his eyes-- eyes that must SEE ALL.

He was exhausted; he hadn't slept well. As he lay quietly in bed, the temptation to drift off back to sleep slowly weighed down his eyelids. "NO!" he thought, "Capitalism isn't going to f**k itself over! It's time to suck today's d*ck!" Energized, he sprang out of bed, threw on a jacket, and stepped outside to have a morning smoke. "Dammit. F***ing rain. Of course it would be raining. Wish I could control the weather," he muttered angrily as he stepped back inside,"I was going to play golf. What a sh*tty day."


The silk sheets rustle and the face of Michelle, who sacrifices so much, appeared from within a pile of down pillows and chinchilla fur blankets. "But you play golf EVERY day, honey," she reminded him, "How'd you sleep?" "Poorly," he replied, "I had a nightmare about Tea Baggers. I was in this community that I couldn't organize and people were wealthy. I couldn't even control them because there was all this freedom everywhere. Then Saul Alinsky appeared and started yelling at me for failing and I woke up." "Well don't worry, dear, it was just a dream," Michelle said soothingly. Barry shrugged and nodded, "Yeah, thank Allah."

He scratched his balls thoughtfully for a moment and then walked over to his desk. The first item on his "Official" to-do list was: Create Jobs. He chuckled, "Gets me every time!" Yawning, he flipped it over to see his real to-do list: Bankrupt USA. "Eh, I've been doing that a lot lately. I think I'll take today off." He sat down at his computer and got online. After updating his facebook status (Obama is hoping for a change in the weather!) and watering his facebook farm, he typed in his email password and brought up his inbox. Two unread messages. Barry selected the first message, a memo from Nancy Pelosi. "Scarecrow b*tch," he whispered, deleting the unread message, "Don't send me work BS on my day off." The second message was Russian spam, entitled: Want make penis bigger to better f**k country? "Interesting..." Obama murmured as he clicked on it, "Wait, it's not free? Oh well screw this. I'm not paying my OWN money." He deleted it, and sat for a minute staring at his sad, empty inbox.



"Well sh*t! I really just want to read emails right now!" Barry fumed. Michelle piped up, "Why don't you read mine?" "Because," Barry turned and looked at her, "All your emails are about fat kids. I could give a flying f**k about fat kids. I wanna read someone else's email. 'Error: warrant needed?' Dammit. It's not letting me. I'm calling Rahm, he'll know what to do."


"What's up with you, man?" Rahm said as he walked in the room, "I've been beating the living sh*t out of some gay senator in the shower. Great day so far." "Well for some reason this piece of sh*t Apple computer isn't letting me read my subjects' emails. I keep getting an error box asking for a warrant. I'm the president and warrants can go f**k off for all I care!" Barry exploded. Rahm pounded his fist into his hand, "Damn right! I'll get to threatening and physically assaulting whoever is in your way right now! Let me see that error box really quick....Sh*t dude, I think the evil capitalist corporations Googlezilla and the Yahoogeyman are enforcing this privacy. You're going to have to go down to their evil secret lair, Wall Street, and slay them."

"I thought I was going to be taking today off, but it looks like I've got to lock and load and do more battle against the evil Team Capitalism," said Obama, lifting his two fists, "Fortunately I got these two bad boys: Hope and Change."

"Googlezilla and Yahoogeyman, I'm coming for you and for my subjects private emails. Try and f*cking stop me!"


Chapter 2: The Epic Showdown

(To be continued)

Comrade, I fear chapter 2 will wear out your * key.

What a rollicking good read! It left me breathless... especially that uber-sexy "Obama wants YOU" snapshot at the end...OMG HE"S LOOKING RIGHT AT ME!!!!!

I just went moist.

Czar Czar wrote:I just went moist.

Tears of joy or drooling over free healthcare?

Here's something that just came in the mail. Maybe Dear Leader would like to watch?

Laika the Space Dog wrote:

Czar Czar wrote:I just went moist.

Tears of joy or drooling over free healthcare?

Think.....further.....uhhhhh.....south.

When he scratched his balls thoughtfully, was that a "Nut Check " to make sure Jesse Jackson didn't visit him in the night ?

Comrade Whoopie, I fear those 2 are not the Mama's and Papa's who spun songs of real deep depth.

His "*" key might not wear out by my "*" did from reading.

Why does great Leader always have his finger pointing at peoples? Makes me most nervous . . . . .

Fraulein Pulloskies wrote:Why does great Leader always have his finger pointing at peoples? Makes me most nervous . . . . .

Ahhhh, Fraulein Pulloskies, you just feeling those tingleeeees. We are of knowing that since poor Herr Pulloskies demise passing, you have been of missing the mens and Dear Leader has become a secret nightmare dream of day light.

I am on safety pins and knitting needles to know what is to come in next chapter. I have become riveted at the edge of my splintery wooden bench.

Mrs Al Czarweary wrote: Ahhhh, Fraulein Pulloskies, you just feeling those tingleeeees. We are of knowing that since poor Herr Pulloskies demise passing, you have been of missing the mens and Dear Leader has become a secret nightmare dream of day light.

I am on safety pins and knitting needles to know what is to come in next chapter. I have become riveted at the edge of my splintery wooden bench.

I don't find much comfort on those words. I did feel tingles but that passed after up-chucking, so I am confused.
Yes, Glorious One ™ is a nightmare dream to all women, much like Mr. Czarweary has been to you and yours, I am sure. sigh
I just happen to have an excerpt from dear Leaders latest 2391 pg. novel about his personage, if you care to sample! I hope you find the personal joy that so many will.
I believe this is from his novel, "Me, Myself and I" or it could be from "Yes, I Love Me, Too".

Please do not allow splintery wooden bench to engage your personage in sever way.

HEY?! Is that not from Who Will Kiss Pig book? I could to swear I read same exerpt from there.

Oh, I always of forgetting. Dear Leader too busy in destroying every relationship with allies building bridges with axis of evil nations between skittish countries to write own book and just like with 2,342,687 page Obamacare he is not to proof read. Such prolish tasking not equal to his equalness.

Sweet fancy gulags! You might be rightcorrect comrade Czarweary. Are GREEDY CAPITALIST PUBLISHERS putting new covers on old pig skins old book writings of dear Leader? I must submit this to comrade Rahm 'the finger' Emanuel who his enlightened thought and considerations. There could be book redistribution going on without government allowability.