New York City Mayor elect Bill de Blasio isn't waiting for inauguration day to hasten NYC's transformation into a progressive utopia into overdrive. Tomorrow morning instead of the usual retinue of colorful and family friendly floats and balloons, high school bands from flyover land, and leggy Radio City Rockettes dancing to <spit> Christmas <spit> music in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, living rooms across Amerika will be greeted with a Soviet-style procession through the city.


Just as in the old, unkorrekt parade, the best float is saved for last. However, instead of the Christian saint and secret Koch Brothers supporter Kris Kringle greeting spectators from his non-union made sleigh, professor Noel Ignatiev will be seated upon a T-34 tank, mowing down all Caucasian non-persons.

This will be the start of a glorious new tradition in the USSA as we give thanks to the Party and to the State for the threadbare clothes on our backs, the friends and family members that haven't been shipped to the gulags, and the pigeon and 3 week-old beet sauce feast on our tables.

Well I can't say I won't miss the giant balloons and Herald Square performances, but I also can't wait to see the glorious drab painted weaponry roll by column after column... Spreading Holiday fear for all.

Still, gotta have a turkey ....

Oh, oh, I can hardly wait to see videos of People's tanks again! (I must pause to wipe away tears of nostalgia.) "Tanks for the memories...."

KrystynaKorrekted wrote: Just as in the old, unkorrekt parade, the best float is saved for last. However, instead of the Christian saint and secret Koch Brothers supporter Kris Kringle greeting spectators from his non-union made sleigh, professor Noel Ignatiev will be [highlight=#FFFF00]seated upon a T-34 tank[/highlight], mowing down all Caucasian non-persons.

Comrade Krystyna,

A minor update: Komrade Noel "The Equalizer" Ignatiev has been upgraded to a M1A1 for the occasion. You will be happy to learn that his mission remains unchanged.

This reminds me of of an old 1950s slogan: "Education and mechanization equal Socialist victory". I hope M1A1 serves well comrade professor Ignatiev!

It's going to be a glorious parade, comrades!!

ThanksObama Day. The new American tradition.

A most excellent upgrade Comrade Squirrel. The bigger the tank the bigger the massacre cleansing.

Don't forget to bring the Obamacare propaganda cheat-sheets to the dinner table, and use them in slicing crazy Tea Party relatives into pieces. Be the engine of the progress!

Colonel Lukianov wrote:Don't forget to bring the Obamacare propaganda cheat-sheets to the dinner table, and use them in slicing crazy Tea Party relatives into pieces. Be the engine of the progress!

Yes. There's no better way to spend time with your loved ones than to scold and hector them. They appreciate it and will love you for it.

Comrades, while the public fountains may freeze over, restaurants bring in their outdoor tables and the sound of Rockettes goose stepping, shouldn't we as progressives open our hearts and minds to those other forgotten soldiers of freedom, who spend every waking hour planning our ultimate destruction, march in the parade also? After all, it should be all in the name of fairness.

Colonel Lukianov wrote:Don't forget to bring the Obamacare propaganda cheat-sheets to the dinner table, and use them in slicing crazy Tea Party relatives into pieces. Be the engine of the progress!

There is just something magical about turkey and talking points comrade Colonel who I believe is using a screenshot from The Lives of Others as his avatar; a film which most excellently depicted life in joyous and carefree East Germany.

KrystynaKorrekted wrote:… comrade Colonel who I believe is using a screenshot from The Lives of Others as his avatar; a film which most excellently depicted life in joyous and carefree East Germany.

Actually, the film used screenshots of the Colonel.

Thanksgiving dinner? I liked it when somebody said (maybe on Twitter, maybe here), when the talk turns to Obamacare, bring out the turkey and mashed potatoes and yams and cranberry and show it off, then put it all away and give everyone helpings of Spam.

Explain why it's an allegory for Obamacare as they start eating their delicious Spam.

Thanksgiving was not declared a national holiday until 1863 by President Abraham Lincoln, who proclaimed it by executive order. According to American mythology, the first Thanksgiving was a feast celebrating the first harvest by the immigrant Separatists in the New World. At this celebration were 90 members of both the Narragansett and Wampanoag Nations that lasted several days.

Yet, the same Separatists who began this tradition also saw fit 13 years later to engage in a genocidal war with the Pequot nation, along with their allies the Narragansett nation, in which hundreds were killed and hundreds more were taken prisoner and sold into slavery. The struggle had begun over the fur trade, which had begun to affect the livelihood of the Native nations, coupled with the advent of a small pox epidemic which had decimated their numbers. Among the tribes who sided with the Pequot in this struggle were the Narragansett nation: The very tribe with which the Separatists had feasted with in that first Thanksgiving!

This genocidal war climaxed with the Mystic Massacre of 26 May 1637. At the Pequot settlement near present day Hartford, Connecticut, Captain John Mason ordered his force of 400 soldiers and native warriors to surround the encampment and set it ablaze. In his defense, Mason claimed that it was an act of God: “He laughed his Enemies and the Enemies of his people to scorn making them as a fiery oven; thus, the Lord God judge among the Heathen, filling it with dead bodies.” Afterwards, the survivors were hunted down. Upon the war's end, the few members of the Pequot nation who survived offered themselves up as slaves in return for their lives.

Such is the irony of the Thanksgiving holiday and why I, personally, do not participate in its festivities: An American holiday that was wrought with the blood of others. In my assessment, it is a feast that pays homage to colonial genocide in the name of kith and kin. Being a historian, I can only recount the past as it was; but, as a human being, I can atone for the sins of my ancestors by refusing to take part in a tainted celebration. I will spend the day in bloody self-flagellation to pay respects with the flowing of my blood as I mourn the slaying and martyrdom of the Native Americans. Hey you enjoy though.

Yes Comrades Soviet Mike Komsomolets,


I too will be seeking atonement by spending my day stabbing my abdomen with a plastic knife and a bottle of ketchup in the kitchen pantry to assuage any guilt for all the years that I have taken part in the symbolic consumption of cannibalistic Indian flesh inflicted by early European racists who created a theocracy of shame to avoid providing affordable health care.

KrystynaKorrekted wrote:

Colonel Lukianov wrote:Don't forget to bring the Obamacare propaganda cheat-sheets to the dinner table, and use them in slicing crazy Tea Party relatives into pieces. Be the engine of the progress!

There is just something magical about turkey and talking points comrade Colonel who I believe is using a screenshot from The Lives of Others as his avatar; a film which most excellently depicted life in joyous and carefree East Germany.

Komrade Krystina, you bring the excellent point. Talking slicing turkey and talking Obamacare makes a perfect zeitgeist! I hope the folks out there will be making pictures of those moments. There should be a contest for the best creative composition - Obamacare 'Stuffin' talking points, turkeys, progressive champions and their Tea party cousins.


And yes, the avatar is from Das Lieben Der Arden or "Lives of the Others". If not my favorite, then one of the top 3 favorites. Beautiful story, and all too familiar to me and my family. The actor on the avatar Urlich Muche was from East Germany and was a subject of surveillance in back in the day. Sad story all around. Great movie, should be mandatory in schools and universities.

Comrade trashmouth, it warmed my heart just now to see that you, as do I, feel the enormous weight of guilt pressing down upon you for having been born!

Pardon me, while I thank God for His Hand in creating the most beautiful and most free nation ever seen on earth. I also pray that He will honor the small percentage of Americans who are aware of what we've lost by helping us get it back before its light goes completely out and darkness like the world has never seen rules the nations.

*flagellates self repeatedly*

Colonel Lukianov -

Welcome to the People's kollektive! Your zeal has been noticed and the Party looks kindly upon your propaganda efforts.

However, I can't help but notice that your portrait is bigger than those of other comrades. Could that be a sign of subliminal sizism, latent cult of personality, and insufficient amount of healthy progressive guilt?

Perhaps, in addition to the lives of others, the Colonel could take a closer look at the avatars of others?

Might I suggest a more appropriate version of your avatar, cropped and flipped so that you're correctly positioned on the left and facing the right? This is not a dictatorship and the Party benevolently gives you a choice among the three different versions prepared by the boys down at Visual Agitation.

Chairman Red Square,

I salute you, and thank you for the welcome! It is a pleasure to join the collective that keeps the flame of Revolutions going, illuminating the path for the masses, or if you wish, folks out there.

Also, thank you for the comradiery criticism of the size of the avatar. Dully noted! As I'm new to the Secretariat, it will take time for the adjustment. Collective has its own nuts and bolts, and it will take me time to learn them. The party and the ideals, in exact that order, are my priority, and the size of the avatar comes behind.

The party and collective are always the first. Long live The Peoples Cube!

Signed

Colonel Lukianov

Special Programs Kommissar
Службени Агент Промене
Truth Secretariat

Comrade Colonel,

Just to save time ( and perhaps a very long train trip toward parts East ), you should be aware that Red Square's usage of the phrase " Might I suggest ..." is in actuality an elicitation requiring voluntary compliance of a mandatory nature on your part.

trashmouth wrote:Yes Comrades Soviet Mike Komsomolets,


I too will be seeking atonement by spending my day stabbing my abdomen with a plastic knife and a bottle of ketchup in the kitchen pantry to assuage any guilt for all the years that I have taken part in the symbolic consumption of cannibalistic Indian flesh inflicted by early European racists who created a theocracy of shame to avoid providing affordable health care.

While not unappreciated, your atonement barely scratches the surface of what you and your privileged 'caucasian' (a.k.a. white) <spit> ancestors have committed; such crimes against humanity, as throughout the history of man, the likes of which has never known. Such atrocities as have been perpetrated by you/yours ...a perpetual trail of tears upon all other humans. Wailing and gnashing of teeth aside, when you do receive your final damnation which your quaint superstition (religion) has convinced you exists, know that those remaining in the temporal world will be dancing upon your grave and redistributing your estate. All the best to you and yours.

I'm gonna really enjoy "ThanksTaking from the Rich Day" this year as we all give thanks to the State for the bounty that sustains us. And unlike those previous dark years, they'll be no pardon like we had under that stupid Booooosh.

Mike,

Hatred consumes whoever welcomes it.

Please think about this carefully.

Chris

Gulag 4 Alfred wrote:I'm gonna really enjoy "ThanksTaking from the Rich Day" this year as we all give thanks to the State for the bounty that sustains us. And unlike those previous dark years, they'll be no pardon like we had under that stupid Booooosh.

Why does this man have hand up turkey's rear? Is this symbolic counterpart to Dear Leader's hatchet, so that all may participate in sacrifice, sharing at both ends?

RedDiaperette wrote: Why does this man have hand up turkey's rear? Is this symbolic counterpart to Dear Leader's hatchet, so that all may participate in sacrifice, sharing at both ends?

Comrade, perhaps that 'Tom' is having his sexual identity "explored"?

The guy's a TSA agent." We're from the government. We're here to help."

Why does this man have hand up turkey's rear? Is this symbolic counterpart to Dear Leader's hatchet, so that all may participate in sacrifice, sharing at both ends?

Comrade Diaperette,Yes, I believe you are correct. And damn that Bushitler for mocking this most sacred day of thanks to Dear Leader (PBUH).

Comrade Alfred, I would like to be among the first to thank you for awakening my awareness of not only the true meaning but also the true NAME of the REAL glorious "holiday" (which derives from "holy day" and is therefore to be struck from the Party dictionary and replaced with "partyday").

Thankstaking it is, Comrade!

Happy Thankstaking!!!

Soviet Mike Komsomolets wrote:... of the Thanksgiving holiday and why I, personally, do not participate in its festivities: An American holiday that was wrought with the blood of others. In my assessment, it is a feast that pays homage to colonial genocide in the name of kith and kin. Being a historian, I can only recount the past as it was; but, as a human being, I can atone for the sins of my ancestors by refusing to take part in a tainted celebration. I will spend the day in bloody self-flagellation to pay respects with the flowing of my blood as I mourn the slaying and martyrdom of the Native Americans. Hey you enjoy though.

Wait, you mean it is not just a speed bump to set a demarcation line of more vigorous purchasing between Halloween and Christmas? It seems my public ejucation has done well in protecting me from other (brrrrrrr) "thoughts." Otherwise, where do I sign up for flagellation?

Anyer Marx wrote: where do I sign up for flagellation?

Friend, all self-flagellation slots are taken, sold out by now. You need to reserve your slot a year in advance. The next opportunity for you is Ashura on the sunset of Sunday, the 2nd of November, 2014. Rates are double occupancy, Kids free. Remember you are personally responsible for your own blood loss.

KrystynaKorrekted wrote:A most excellent upgrade Comrade Squirrel. The bigger the tank the bigger the massacre cleansing.

May I suggest some of my favorite alternatives? The p. 1500 "Monster" Landkruizer has the most material mass, but comrades in favor of our own motherland ingenuity may recieve special recognition from their local street commissar.

R.O.C.K. in the USSA wrote:Thanksgiving dinner? I liked it when somebody said (maybe on Twitter, maybe here), when the talk turns to Obamacare, bring out the turkey and mashed potatoes and yams and cranberry and show it off, then put it all away and give everyone helpings of Spam.

Explain why it's an allegory for Obamacare as they start eating their delicious Spam.

Comrade ROCK, you are korrect as usual, and in the spirit of Obamacare, this holiday I invited the workers of my kollective to the dinner that they are entitled to, I had them pay for a full dinner with all of the trimmings, (or face increasing penalties for failing to participate) and served them spam, but only the ones who registered for the meal on a website I have yet to conduct end to end testing on.

Comrade Tovarichi, don't forget to triple the cost for next year's spam dinner!