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Mex-A-Pult: Humane Way to Stop Illegal Intruders

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COMRADES!

I did this quick story today but when I finished I wasn't sure it was as good as I thought it would look. Any criticism / ideas / suggestions will be welcome.


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Since the first cave man hurled the first rock at that first unwelcome visitor, man has been hearing complaints about harsh treatment of illegal immigrants. The main problem with the methods used against these pesky intruders was that they could be either harsh and effective - or lenient and ineffective.

Thousands of years were to fly by before the Department of Homeland Security developed a modern solution to your immigration problem that is both effective and humane - a Border-Crosser Catapult soon to be installed at the border with Mexico.

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Image Border Guard: Our catapult works only on those intruders who get tempted by the bait. The ones who are not seeking free government cheese are not our problem.

So, how does it work? First, there is the bait. Studies have found that many of the border crossers are attracted by the scent of government cheese. While approaching the bait, they unwittingly step upon a handout-shaped platform. As they give the government cheese a tug, the Border-Crosser Catapult literally springs into action! It sends the hapless intruders soaring through the air back where they came from.

But how is this humane? The trick is pointing the catapult over the fence. That way, the flying trespassers will travel out into Mexico or even as far as Guatemala. But please, remember to point over the border fence. We can't stress this enough.

The Border-Crosser Catapult (also known as the Mex-A-Pult®) is handcrafted in the good ol' U.S. of A., and each one is built with love (and, of course, wood, wire, glue, cardboard, and a rubberband).

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A free rubber "Mexican" is included so you can practice angle, trajectory, distance, velocity, and the like.

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As soon as I stop laughing, I'll give it some thought. It's very good the way it is. The rubber Mexican kills.
I'm having problems of my own; I'm going to ask for help as well.

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They tested that on Mythbusters, but of course they couldn't say that it was the Mexicans that were using it, so they had an American flag to represent the US side of the border, and a Canadian flag for the other.



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Laika the Space Dog wrote:Have you seen the Beaner Boomerang?

I don't have it. Where did you last see it? Did you check the couch cushions?

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Google wrote:Your search - "Beaner Boomerang" - did not match any documents.


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Wouldn't a Beaner Boomerang be kinda good because it would take them back to whence they came? Or do they just jump off half way through the flight?


 
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