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More Capitalist exploitation

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Comrades, we all know that being outraged victims is part of being good Progressive Heroes of the Proles. We are very good at punishing our oppressors through abuse of the legal system rallying the masses in the pursuit of Justice.

In Proletarian simplicity, "We sue". Unless of course, the Current Truth™ states that our individual plights are to be ignored, and taken with the fortitude of good servants to the People.

Or, the Current Truth™ may refute the existance of such nonsense as unhappiness in our Utopia. In any case, the Current Truth is now "to be unfathomably angry" because the Current Truth™, the very axis of our existence, the Proggly code by which our Proggishness is dictated, is under attack.

Comrades, do you understand the significance of this? Our Prog, the essence of Life and Happiness, is being STOLEN! We have a copyright infingment upon our hands, perpetrated by none other than the capitalists version of ourselves! To War Comrades! THE ONION HAS STOLEN THE CURRENT TRUTH™

North Korea Celebrates As Kim Jong-Un Becomes First Man To Walk On Moon

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Fear not Comrade, for we have the Superior Truth™ ... and the photographic evidence to prove it.

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Ah! Thank The Dear Leader! All is solved by his leadership!

Raum Emmanual Goldstein
Frankly, Herr Sheriff.... I find your lack of faith in the Cube disturbing.

Apparently, two fortnights of re-education were insufficient....

Raum Emmanual Goldstein
Indeed! I find it surprising, Herr Sheriff, that you did not notice TWO critical flaws in the Onion screed which undermine their credibility as a source of "KurrenTruth."

First, Lil' Kim is the first MAN to walk upon the moon? Indeed, sir! Lil' Kim is no mere mortal! He is not a MAN. Therefore, this Onion tripe reeks from the very beginning.

Second, since Lil Kim is no mere mortal but rather "God" incarnate...HE is not required to stride upon the moon...especially since HE CREATED the thing to begin with!

Any properly educated Cubist knows these essential KurrenTruths...they are self-evident.

Since you did NOT would indicated to me that you lack a proper education. Fear not... Your homework assignment tonight is to strip back the wires of a lamp plug... insert the plug into the wall and electrikute yourself routinely whist reading the last four chapters of Orwell's 1984. The NSA Power Grid branch will be monitoring your energy consumption....So, do not electrokute yourself sparingly.

Someday, when the Dear Leader eventually in his wisdom decides to provide rice to the people, the Big Hats will be beaten into rice bowls. And all will feast upon the lambs and toads and tree-sloths and fruit-bats and orangutans and breakfast cereals and Captain Craptek.

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Lev Termen wrote:Someday, when the Dear Leader eventually in his wisdom decides to provide rice to the people, the Big Hats will be beaten into rice bowls. And all will feast upon the lambs and toads and tree-sloths and fruit-bats and orangutans and breakfast cereals and Captain Craptek.

I would be honored to be served serve the LIV masses their just desserts.

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Comrade Emmannuel, The Current allows for our Dear Leader to simultaneously exist as the Omnipotent Deity he is, and a Man like our selves...or Even a womyn, should he desire to help the people in such an enlightened fashion. In this way can he feel empathy for the downtrodden masses in between the creation of moons to be the first man to walk on. Howver, I do say that I was foolish to have considered the possibility that our own Master of the Cube, the Red Square, would have simply allowed the Onion to take anything from us. However, If we included such a ridiculous act into the Current truth, we could have the perfect excuse to start more riots and lawsuits...a most noble and Progressive endeavor, Da?

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No offense comrade Craptek, but at present, the masses would not be able to subsist upon a diet of Cube squirrell. I suppose you have not deviated from the first lady's suggested dietary habits in order to be fit for work in our peoples utopia, however, to be truly edible, you might consider seeking more equal than others status so that you may be eligiable for more than equal rations.936565_602943063088417_1344990468_n.jpg


 
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