Dear Comrades,

American Media Collective Office #17 (MSNBC) has issued a formal statement informing Party members that Christianity is an acceptable form of irrational belief due to its homoerotic elements. Because Christianity teaches love, which is always expressed through sexual intercourse between one or more sentient beings, the Party finds that it is an approved form of mental deviance.

Comrade Entertainment & Education Commissar Michael Eric Dyson, a former Baptist minister who renounced the decadence of traditional, Bourgeois Protestantism in favor of Progressivism and the advancement of all humanity, spoke at length about the homoeroticism of ‘men who love Jesus.' By this, it is meant that a vast majority of males who proclaim love for Jesus are, in fact, repressing their homosexual tendencies and only find release for their suppressed sexuality through carnal desire for intercourse with the mythological figure of Jesus.

Comrade Dyson demonstrated, during his interview, that Christians are actually covert homosexuals who fear acting out on their same-sex attraction, as are most workers and peasants are due to centuries of homophobia from so-called religious leaders who are enslaved to the feudal-era religious teachings which plague Modern Man.

When one considers the Biblical references to Jesus' Body, and how the Church has always been synonymous with His Body, then we see that there are obvious teachings about Jesus' sexuality and how people are to desire His Body and thus intercourse with Him. This is the natural impulse of humans that we see perfectly described in the Party's teachings about Dialectical Materialism and its subsidiary, Dialectical Sexuality. The former teaches that all phenomenon is explained through physical laws and principles, whereas Dialectical Sexuality teaches that all human activity is based on the uncontrollable desire for sex.

It is only by admitting that one desires gay sex that a Christian can truly be a civilized person and return to the sanity that only the Socialist Democratic Party can offer the Proletariat. By embracing your homosexuality, you will be quite comfortable in the loving embrace of the Party!

To love Jesus is to desire His Body! Christians, embrace your homosexual desires for Jesus!

Faithfully submitted to the Collective of the People's Cube,
Comrade Nomenklatura-climber
Dialectical Progressivism Translator

Nomenklatura-climber wrote:It is only by admitting that one desires gay sex that a Christian can truly be a civilized person and return to the sanity that only the Socialist Democratic Party can offer the Proletariat. By embracing your homosexuality, you will be quite comfortable in the loving embrace of the Party!

[h3]To love Jesus is to desire His Body! Christians, embrace your homosexual desires for Jesus![/h3][/color][/font][/size]

Oh, dear, I do not understand how this may be. If female-gender-identified person embraces her homosexual desires, such desires cannot be for Jesus. Exclusion! Dare one suggest that this direktive comes not from Party-approved MSNBC but from evil white-male-privileged Rethuglikkans as part of their war on womyn?

WRONG..On sooo many levels!

Yes, ......
Comrade Dyson correctly implied that the Christian religion in general are all covert perverts and they needs to grow beyond archaic ideas. Dyson's explanation goes much deeper as it means that the entire Christian Right has destroyed it's high moral ground to oppose gay sex, same sex marriage, bestiality, pedophilia, prostitution, and the euthanizing of sick and elderly through the Affordable Care Act, all of which, have been major cornerstones of all human rights that progressives continue to believe and have fought for. Dyson's interview implied that these homoerotic self-righteous Christians seemed to have defined their outdated belief system of Jesus based on some scriptures from worn out old books that are usually found in motel room drawers. Yes, comrades it's true that not only by admitting that one desires gay sex that Christians can truly be civilized, hopefully the day will finally come when members of the Socialist Democrat Party will be free to smoke dope and have sex with their chosen species in safety of their front yard without religious complaints... but with loving embrace. It just goes to show you, as progressives we have been chosen to insist on tolerance and diversity....Forward

Don't worry, Comrades, Progressive Christianity has room for women…

Obviously time to re-choreograph the Herod's Song number for the school play of Jesus Christ Superstar. What the hell, just re-do the whole thing for Barry O Superstar ... the gay scenes will play much better and be more believable. Lots of casting opportunities for Moo too!

Nomenklatura-climber wrote: It is only by admitting that one desires gay sex that a Christian can truly be a civilized person and return to the sanity that only the Socialist Democratic Party can offer the Proletariat.

Out of shame and fear, I throw myself on the mercy of the Party and I hereby denounce myself for counter-revolutionary tendencies, to wit:

• Wondering what Barbara Eden got up to in that bottle.
  
• Thinking about how Ann-Margret kept her hyphen intact.
  
• Speculating on what other tricks Samantha Stevens knew.
  
• Wanting to explore Zooey Deschanel's Oz.

Pack me off to the re-education camp with all the other nasty heterosexuals. I understand that there is a five year waiting list; I can deal with that.

I had hoped it would never come to this, but I must denounce myself. I also confess to exclusively heterosexual tendencies and behavior. Unfortunately my unorthodoxy goes much further. I am also a monogamist by choice. A filthy pervert if there ever was one. I'll get my shovel and report to the rail yard.

Red Salmon wrote:I'll get my shovel and report to the rail yard.

Not to worry, comrade - while your crimes against the party are many and horrendous, with the economy now booming due to Comrade Prezzy MompantsOnFire's oversight, there are plenty of beets to harvest right in your own neighborhood!

Back to the beet fields!

Me, General Stabbin, gave a brilliant speech yesterday to the masses of the Lou-vre where I declared that MSNBC is gay. If not gay fixated. (gay fixed?)

Stabbin leads the way. We should question all those who believe that MSNBC is not gay as counter revolutionaries, whatever MSNBC means!

Well, at least I do not have to go to the re-education camp (this time)... I've always considered myself a lesbian trapped in a male's body.

Oh, Good Lord, I just do not care about this. Leave me alone forgodsakes! Please! I do not care what you do privately and what I do privately is none of your business. Can I make it more clear? Get off me!