Comrades, the world collective is richer today, and we can thank Comrades Bono and Geldof.

. . .world leaders unveiled a $50 billion package Friday to help lift Africa from poverty and proposed up to $9 billion to help the Palestinians achieve peace with Israel.

Blair failed, however, to get all summit countries to commit to boosting foreign aid to an amount equal to 0.7 percent of national income by 2015. . .

Even so, Irish rock star Bono, who helped organize last weekend's global Live 8 concerts to pressure G-8 leaders to spend more money on Africa, said "a mountain has been climbed."

"We've pulled this off," he said. "The world spoke and the politicians listened."

Chalk another victory up to the musicians! Noble members of the collective and loyal social progressives, there is no question of your massive importance! I have it on the highest authority that the evil Bush planned on limiting aid to a massive "Pennysaver" drop over Central Africa, and instead billions will now be added to the half-trillion dollars already spent over the last few decades which have gone to such good use in Africa.

I believe our Comrade Mugabe is already planning uses for the money that will enhance his fine "People's Paradise" in Zimbabwe!

Again, thank you kind ubermusicians, you are saving the world one note at a time!

I have climbed highest mountain
I have run through the fields
Only to spew pooh-pooh
Only to bark at the moon

I am dumb
I have bawled
I have pimped these city halls
These city halls
Only to spew my pooh

But I still haven't found what I'm looking for
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for

I have kissed commie lips
Felt the healing in her bullwhips
It burned like fire
This burning desire

I have spoke with the tongue of fools
I have held the hand of a liberal
It was warm in the night
My brain's like a stone

But I still haven't found what I'm looking for
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for

I believe in the Kremlin come
Then all the masses will bleed into one
Bleed into one
Well yes I''ll be running

The state tied the bonds and I
Forged the chains
Carried the cross
Of my shame
I'm so damned lame
You know I believed it

But I still haven't found what I'm looking for
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for...

Duh.....................