Korrekt grammers and speling are what set the edumacated apart from the stupid. Right? So memorize this University of New Hampshire Bias-Free Language Guide and use it daily,... or shut up! Thanks for your cooperation.

Excerpts from the University of New Hampshire “Bias-Free Language Guide” (BFLG)

"The BFLG “is meant to serve as a starting point” in rethinking “terms related to age, race, class, ethnicity, nationality, gender, ability, sexual orientation and more” for the purpose of promoting “inclusive excellence in our campus community.” In short, words that are infected with “bias” are “problematic” or “outdated;” those that are alleged to be “bias-free” are “preferred.”

“People of advanced age” and “old people” are preferred. Terms like “older people,” “elders,” “seniors,” and “senior citizen” are problematic and outdated.

Yes, believe it or not, “‘old people' has been reclaimed by some older activists who believe the standard wording of old people lacks the stigma of the term ‘advanced age.'” Moreover, the term “old people” also halts “the euphemizing of age.” The latter is bad because in “euphemizing,” we assume that “age is a negative.”

“Poor person” and “person from the ghetto” are problematic and outdated. In contrast, “person who lacks advantages that others have” and “low economic status related to a person's education, occupation and income” are preferable."

It's real simple. Just do like the guide says and you'll be OK.

Y'know Craptek, I'm tired of all these old people, these poor people, and these people from the ghetto bein' all homeless and obese. They're able-bodied folks, they're normal! But, than again, most of them are blind people that are foreigners, not American. Some of them are illegals too, and some of them even have a sexual preference of homosexual! Some of them are even mothering and fathering their children into alternative lifestyles, some of which include hating the opposite sex!

I honestly believe that this is a micro-assault on these students' 1st Amendment rights.

I have to agree with Comrade Stierlitz call for killing the first amendment as it is outdated and obviously a trick to fool people into believing they can do whatever they want with no consequences. Has anyone run into a bank lobby lately (like in the last week) and shouted this is a hold up? Every time I do that some people actually look at me as if I wasn't allowed to say such things and inevitably out come a bunch of rethuglican security guards with bats, pepper spray and guns. Yep the 1st amendment is a joke.

It's worse than a joke, comrade.

I had to wait in line for longer than 30 seconds at my bank, the other day and so I said "What's the hold up? Somebody ought to be fired over this!"

The bank's zero tolerance policy led to a distraught employee mistaking my paycheck for an assault weapon and SWAT was called in. I'm not sure how that happened. My pay check is not big enough to look like an assault weapon. It's small enough to be offensive, though, so there may be a correlation.

I was so petrified by all the real guns that I was a gibbering, drooling shadow of my usual self and soiled my "Thrift Store Collection" original 70's sky blue corduroy jeans.

This actually turned out to be fortunate as SWAT mistook me for a deluded homeless person of indeterminate gender and ushered me to safety whilst they searched for the gunman.

The fresh air seemed to re-invigorate my mental faculties and made sure I was a long way away by the time the all clear was declared and long before anyone could identify me.

One must be very careful how one expresses one's self, these days.

I am SHOCKED at your brazen bourgeois attitudes AND behavior. Komrads, you willingly "do business" with the very heart and soullessness of Kapitalism? You knowingly participate in the banking system? I denounce you all. You will never find me near a bank unless it is the Kenai River bank.

Aghast at the Current Truth ™

Red Salmon