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No time to waste!

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Comrades!

We have a situation on our hands! I have been directed by my Party to keep my eye on The Archnemesis of the Proletariat, The ThoughtKrimeLord, Mr. Rush Limblah. Well, he has left my jurisdiction, and I have no authorization to apprehend him or his fiendish accomplices where he has holed up. So now, to get to the point...

I request to have Party-approved Clearance to the Peoples Time Portal. I require written consent of our beloved Comrade, The Time Colonel, to receive access to the regions of space farther down the fourth dimension.

With your support, comrades and compatriots, we can hunt this scourge down, and see the evil Mastermind and his Weapons of Mass Instruction finally hushed!

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In order to Move Forward toward a brighter future, comrades, we must move backwards into a darker past to eliminate what never was.

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Hmmm, so you say you were directed to watch this criminal and yet he escaped your jurisdiction. That sounds to me like you were derelict in your duty, comrade. The People's Revolution cannot tolerate failure... well, it can tolerate failure but only in those above your pay grade. Far above your pay grade. Let me put it this way.... destroying the health care system, well, that can happen to anyone. But letting a criminal escape - this does not bode well.

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Opiate of the People wrote:Hmmm, so you say you were directed to watch this criminal and yet he escaped your jurisdiction. That sounds to me like you were derelict in your duty, comrade. The People's Revolution cannot tolerate failure... well, it can tolerate failure but only in those above your pay grade. Far above your pay grade. Let me put it this way.... destroying the health care system, well, that can happen to anyone. But letting a criminal escape - this does not bode well.

Perhaps, Comrade Opiate, the aspiring prog can locate Thought-Criminal™ LimpPaw and simultaneously redeem himself by taking care of some unfinished business... Ahem,...I have some beets rotting in the north 40 that weren't harvested last year due to my...err... illness. I believe you have some "forgotten" items needing attention as well. I won't speak for you, comrade Opiate, but I would be quite pleased and thankful if apprentice Comrade Sheriff would harvest that field for me last year when he's done with LimpPaw. Just a thought.

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The last I heard, Colonel 7.62 was in the future admiring the marvelosity of the shiny Single Payer Everything System which had been fully implemented in the USSA. He may not be back any time soon, what with the future being as glorious as it is. Umm, time will tell.

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Captain Craptek wrote:Perhaps, Comrade Opiate, the aspiring prog can locate Thought-Criminal™ LimpPaw and simultaneously redeem himself by taking care of some unfinished business...

He could polish my auto machine, but since I am an underpaid selfless servant of the people, I don't actually have an auto machine* so he can just stand in the driveway of my dacha and make scrubbing motions until my auto machine would glisten if it were there.


*I take public transportation, of course; every morning a driver from the people's limosine pool picks me up and stays by my side until he can collect me from under the table at the people's discount liquor emporium around midnight.

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I have been toiling in the wheat fields as hard as my handlessness allows for over two five year plans come saturday, and would gladly volunteer for more slavery service, but I really wish to see he Tsarist Rushian hauled off for reeducation. Would some comrade take over the chase while I am suffering singing thesongs of the revolution?(not literally "while", because they will be in the past, and I will be serving in the present. The point is, The Man needs to be stopped)

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Thought Sheriff wrote:I have been toiling in the wheat fields...
Comrade Sheriff, I have discerned, dismantled, and discombobulated your problem: you're in the wrong fields!

Shuffle on down the road to the >>> BEET fields <<< and all will be well.

I promise, cross the Party and hope to become a Rethuglikkkan.

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Da, Tovarisch USSA...wait...How do I toil in the BeetFields with my sickle? Commarissa Pinkie, what model of state issued Peoples shovels should exchange it for?

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Oh Lenin; did Comrade new-guy just directly ask the Commisarka a direct question?

This ought to be good, but it won't last long...


ROCK! Get out of the blast radius--it's about to get messy!


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What is wheat? Is it tasty? Can it make the vodka?

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Let me consult The ThoughtKriminal's Guide to The Gulag....Let's see....What to do if I have mistaken the Dear Leader for a Comrade...What to do in case of UMCT...What to do in case of Unintended affiliation with thoughkriminals...what to do in case of fire...AHA! I have found it...
ThoughtSher..png


 
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