The Information Minister wishes to announce that the People's Republic of North Korea advanced the frontiers of Socialist aerospace science by launching a missile into the Pacific Ocean today! The world watched in awe as the multistage rocket soared over the earth for approximately165 km before before breaking up into about 325 very small stages as it fell from the sky -- exactly as planned.

The sniveling cowards hiding under their desks at the United States Defense Department called the launch a "failure," saying they lost track of the flight after 81 glorious seconds.

NPRK spokesmen said the DOD simply turned off their radar in fear, refusing to acknowledge the dawn of a New Age of the People's Rocketry. Kim Jong Un 's "Manhattan Project" rocket research team wishes to thank the combined technological contributions of Iran, China, and the Soviet Uni -- er, Russia.

The goal for the next North Korean rocket is to stay in the air for 82 seconds and 166 kilometers. "This is an entirely reachable goal," said a NPRK spokesperson.

-- information minister

Information Minister - fixed... (not that it needed fixing, of course!)
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Our enemies lie, this vehicle was NOT a missile, it was a new vertical bullet train the People's Republic is working on. When regular service begins, it will be called the People's Seaside Express and get happy vacationers to the ocean in a matter of seconds!

I'm getting pumped about the two Korean missile threads. I wish we combine them into the same thread bed.

Agents inside the PUNK reveal:

North Korean rocket…
Was only intended it to be a fireworks tribute to the late dictator Very Ill,
The launch also initiated a self-destruct sequence,
It was a magnificent success for the whole world to watch!

Fireworks?
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Was not FAILURE! Was TORPEDO!

Looks like the U.S. downed a missile with a new interceptor missile. Ha! So they hit a small weak target like another missile. It's obvious they didn't have the strength or the nerve to attack the mighty Pacific Ocean!