Those logging on to the troubled ObamaCare federal health insurance exchange website today were surprised by a strange greeting from the website itself.

The message, claiming to be from ObamaCare - The Website, claims that the treatments it's been receiving have been very effective and it is feeling better. But it still has trouble eating and sleeping and is suffering terrible physical pain. "The doctors say I need much more expensive treatments probably for the rest of my life to become healthy again. My whole back-end is all messed up," it says.

Currently, the ObamaCare - The Website federal health insurance website is very happy with the health insurance it has always had but, as it explains in it's message to ObamaCare site users, "If political things in Washington continue I might lose my current health insurance and die. I'm very, very frightened. I don't want to die."

"Help Obama help me help you," the message ends. "Please don't let me die. I want to live."

Computer experts are baffled by the new development. "It's like science-fiction stuff, but there you go," Charles Sitwell head of the computer team said. "As soon as we finished recoding the website it started coming up with these messages like it's talking to us. Absolutely inexplicable by normal understanding. Sometimes what's true goes beyond human understanding."

Whether the website has actually come to life as it claims or not, it has proven to be a very sympathetic character. Like Florence Nightingale, many have forgotten all about their own troubles and found an emotional common cause in ObamaCare's plight. "It's like someone in my own family," several find. "I'm with it. In complete solidarity. It's so helpless."

"America won't let it die. It's a person too."

In related news, the OFA has announced a comprehensive holiday campaign to raise awareness of ObamaCare - The Website's medical predicament.

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The Karl Marx Treatment Center's latest best seller is: Lies, Damn Lies, and How to Present Them (forward by the Doctor of Dictatorship, the MajaRashie)

Here is a video of computer technicians once again fixing the ObamaCare website, for good this time!

Lets not forget Death Panel algorithms

Yes, comrades. Life will be so much simpler Next Tuesday™...

Fortunately for ObamaCare, even though the LIV's might finally awaken and help give a size 51% key to shutdown experts in 2014, they won't give them the two 67% keys needed to effectuate a shutdown as Dave was able to do to HAL 9000.

That's because the LIVs are about as tuned-in to what's at stake as were the hybernating astronauts terminated by HAL 9000.

And, absent ObamaCare being repealed (or declared unconstitutional in the new case in which the challenge is based on what Roberts called a "tax" bill not having "originated" in the house, which would require the Supreme Court to classify as an unconstitutional subterfuge the Senate having stripped the content from a bill that had originated in the house in order to paste into it the content of ObamaCare, which the Democrats passed in the Senate by 51%), ObamaCare will be terminating us rather than vice versa.

--KOOK

In all honesty, if the court finds that Harry's subterfuge produced a legitimate "House Bill", then the House is defunct.

Hmmm, and if the senate can negate the house, then the President could negate the senate, and then we'd have....we could possibly have.....

Screw it. Who's on Entertainment Tonight tonight?

I believe that's the plan comrade. All is proceeding as hoped expected.