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Dear Comrades,

The USSA's National Security Agency, or NSA, in an effort to ‘green up' its carbon profile and provide our Glorious Socialist State with more environmentally-friendly surveillance, is now initiating a ‘Document Recycling Program' where used NSA documents can be recycled after use by third parties. These classified documents, also known as “Previously Owned Official Paperwork,' or POOP for short, can occasionally end up out of NSA custody, thus polluting the environment.

The NSA is proposing that an ‘amnesty' be offered to POOP-holders, not unlike those turn-in days offered by local law enforcement agencies where old paint or firearms can be exchanged for gift certificates or the comforting feeling of knowing that State entities will not have to search you home looking for contraband. In addition, the White Fortress may ‘sweeten' the deal by guaranteeing that compliant POOP-holders who turn in their documents will have perfect automobile and aircraft safety, and will be deleted from any drone targeting lists that may or may not exist.

We all know that too much POOP in our environment represents a health and safety concern for the workers and peasants of the USSA, especially for those who may accidentally come into contact with POOP that has been misplaced. Citizens who make such contact with POOP are instructed to report their contact to local State security forces for proper cleaning and additional instructions. If you feel you have found some POOP, it is best to not read it and immediately call for State assistance.

The NSA guards our safety and our environment! Turn in your classified documents, and don't hold on to your POOP!

Faithfully submitted to the Collective of the People's Cube,
Comrade Nomenklatura-climber
Dialectical Progressivism Translator

I have cousin who will be glad to supply POOPer Scoopers to NSA for very cheap, on no-bid contract. Usual kickbacks will be available.

In the interest of full disclosure and transparency, be aware that Dear Leader's speeches and press briefing notes are designated by the prefix "B-". (for Bull-POOP) I've heard that special incentives for locating and reporting B-POOP will be forthcoming. I don't know about you, but I'm finding piles of B-POOP everywhere. 2014 should prove to be a B-POOP bonanza!

The Visual Agitation Dept. just added this poster above:

Would you like to be removed from drone targeting lists that may or may not exist? Turn in your classified documents!

Those who keep boring old POOP will be known as banal retentives.