NUTS to March on Halloween

Glorious News Comrades!

Reuters Rooter

The March of Progressivism continues in the USSA where Governor Schwartzenegger signed SB 777 outlawing the discriminatory and hurtful Hate Speech in public schools known as "Mom and Dad" and "Husband and Wife". This long cherished goal of the proletariate became reality in California on October 12 when before adoring throngs of yearning masses, the Governator proclaimed "Hasta la vista, family".

Just as the "Colored Only" water fountain and restroom signs were taken down in the 1960's, the racist "Men" and "Women", "Gentlemen" and "Ladies", and "Boys" and "Girls" signs on restroom doors will be removed also, bringing about social justice that was long overdue.

"I still want reperations though for having to use a quote "boys" restroom in grade school." demanded Bruce Figpuck, 54, of the Castro District in San Francisco.

Evidence of Gender Intimidation Hate Speech

There was grumblings of discontent among the more staunch progressives.

"We see this as the cup being half full, the Governor has only delayed the inevitable" claimed a spokesperson for the New Utopian Transgendered Society. "What about grandpa and grandma?…aunt and uncle?…brother and sister ? Why stop at mom and dad? This is just a half-assed conservative attempt to appease and placate the oppressed."

NUTS is planning a massive protest on Halloween.

The Governor's Office would not comment on the "grandma, grandpa, brother, sister, aunt and uncle" controversy and plans to release a statement on April 1, 2008
 

Laika, I see in this the fine hand. Our Many Titted Empress' husband Slick Willie will of coure be campaigning for her in her first, and last, election, and this is only to increase his pleasure in going to California. What would please him more than entering the women's restroom or locker room?

Of course there is no similar advantage for Our Many Titted Empress, who is well pleased with things just the way that they are.

I am only surprised not to find in the bill a requirement that every presidential suite in every hotel be wired for three-phase power for the Hildo Hydra 7.9.
 

Glorious news indeed! And Laika, with you and I being of the canine persuasion, not to mention our progressive dolphin comrade, it is high past time we end such discriminatory and divisive terms such as bitch, stud, bull, cow etc. Progressive Equal Treatment for Animals (PETA) needs to come down hard and fast on this issue! Lets not forget our Party Organ Donor. Imagine the way she/he/it must feel discriminated against being but a brain in a jar in the midst of oxygen consumers? Were on the brink of a glorious new world comrades! We must seriously examine the nouns we use to cause division and hate, and no doubt do away with adjectives as well.
 

All I have to say, is thank Hillary I'm out of school.  I wouldn't last 5 minutes under that new law.
 

Letting five-year-olds choose their Restroom/Locker room Orientation™!? BRILLIANT!


Comrades, if little Johnnie wants to be a girl at three, then by golly he will be a girl! Why, we should also pass legislation that will cover the gender re-assignment surgery for little Johnnie as well (which will be covered under our healthcare free-for-all plan coming soon after Hillary steals the election! :-)).

Sure, just because little Johnnie picked up his sister's Barbie doll once might not mean he is, well, "questioning" his gender... but who are we to judge!?!? Snip the little bastard and make him into what he truly wants! FOR THE LOVE OF THE CHILDREN! WE MUSTN'T HARM THEIR FEELINGS IN ANYWAY! LITTLE JOHNNIE SHOULD'VE BEEN A GIRL! A GIRL I TELL YA! A GIRL! Just the other day he was digging around his mother's purse looking for something! Probably a tampon or something, Comrades! LITTLE JOHNNIE MUST HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR A TAMPON! HE WANTS TO BE A GIRL! HE IS TELLING US HE WANTS TO BE A GIRL!

And so help us, if you don't let little Johnnie become a girl... well, let's just say Social Services will be by to snatch little Johnnie and award custody to a progressive foster family in Berkeley WITH THE COMMON DECENCY AND UNDERSTANDING TO ACKNOWLEDGE THAT LITTLE JOHNNIE WANTS TO BE A GIRL!
 

Honestly, the fact that we even still allow "parents" to raise their offspring shows just how far we have to go as a society. "The Village" must raise the child in a properly sex and gender neutral environment except where such characteristics can be used to further the child's identity within a specific group.

We are somewhat behind the curve here comrades. I have already encountered several younger comrades on other boards I visit who have completely adopted Progressive gender and orientation neutral identities. An individual at one board, who eventually turned out to be biologically female and approximately high school aged, variously presented herself as first, a gay male; second, a straight or bisexual male; next, a bisexual female with a crush on a girl and, currently, a straight female with her first serious boyfriend. In fact, it is almost unheard of to encounter a person on that same board under the age of 25 who will describe themselves as entirely heterosexual, Christian or Jewish and most certainly never Republican or conservative. Obviously, concepts of alternate and malleable group identities are in place and working, meaning that altering the language is simply a logical next step.
 

Chairman M. S. Punchenko

... (A)fter Hillary steals the election! :-)).


My dear comrade Meow, how can our Beloved Leader "steal" what is already rightfully hers? Have you forgotten the lessons instilled by years of Party Truth diseminated by the Loyal Media? Only Republicans steal elections. Members of the Party merely assume the political offices and power which is naturally and rightfully The Party's. It is occasionally necessary to extrapolate the will of The People beyond what irrelevant "election results" would suggest but this is in no way ever "stealing an election". Party Chairman Dean frequently reminded us, during the dark days when the opposition had seized control, that The Power is always ours. He could be frequently heard promising various outcomes "when we are back in Power" on loyal media programs during this bleak time. Remember comrade, elections are ALWAYS ours to win and theirs to steal.
 

Yes, only Republicans steal elections because I deny that they exist except as lip-service to some outmoded idea of Democracy.

And after our Many Titted Empress assumes her Throne of the All Powerful, All Wise, there will be no more elections and we'll have done with this farce.
 

Why should we stop at allowing a 3 year old to decide what sex they are? In a truly progressive paradigm, when 3 year old Johnny is asked what he wants to be when he grows up and he says "a train" or Tony the Tiger, whatever, then By Lenin, that is what he will be! Clearly he has made an unbiased choice representative of his inner wants and needs.

Commissar M, you were most kind in correcting the Chairman. He has been a bit out of sorts since losing his Hummels in Hurricane Hillary.
 

What is the problem here? If girls want to use the boy's facilities, all they have to do is what Empress Hillary did. Get an "Addadichtomy".
 

Commissar Pupovich

Commissar M, you were most kind in correcting the Chairman. He has been a bit out of sorts since losing his Hummels in Hurricane Hillary.

ALL of the Hummels? That is indeed tragic and I'm sure that the real source of this destruction was not Hurricane Hillary but.... Bush!

Chairman Meow has saved me from slipping in to wrong think more than once (usually after I've consumed that day's double vodka ration) and I feel that it is only fair that I return the favor.
 

Comrades - stealing really means obtaining something that was previously denied to you by the forces of the Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy (which did, in all fairness, belong to you from the start!). So with “stealing” defined as a positive force for social change, we can now easily say that Her Excellency is stealing the Presidency that already belonged to her anyways – while, of course, exhibiting absolute moral authority.

Another good example would be the crack addict who guns down a middle-class douche bag for his wallet. The crack addict – being a victim of circumstance at the hands of the VRWC – is justified since he did not possess a wallet with the same amount of cash as the middle-class douche bag. So, in all fairness, he simply murdered a man/womyn/it and stole his/her/it’s wallet because it was really his wallet all along. Is this making sense to everyone? I mean, they should’ve taught you this in your first year of college? This shouldn’t be anything new to you, Comrades. It really shouldn’t be anything new.

So did I make a mistake saying "steal"? No... I think not, Comrades. I think not.
 

Once again Chairman, you leave us speechless with the logic of the truth that you have presented to us. BTW, I was just playing along with these others so they could be exposed to the red hot flame of your thinking. In fact, I was rather shocked when Commissar Theorcritus mentioned Republicans "stealing" elections, which as you have proven, would imply that they belonged to them in the first place. Of course, as usual, he will say that he denies this possibility as it is merely a construct. Great Stalin's Ghost! Forgive a addle brained Commissar, he is just a bit out of sorts today.
 

Chairman M. S. Punchenko

Another good example would be the crack addict who guns down a middle-class douche bag for his wallet. The crack addict – being a victim of circumstance at the hands of the VRWC – is justified since he did not possess a wallet with the same amount of cash as the middle-class douche bag. So, in all fairness, he simply murdered a man/womyn/it and stole his/her/it’s wallet because it was really his wallet all along. Is this making sense to everyone? I mean, they should’ve taught you this in your first year of college? This shouldn’t be anything new to you, Comrades. It really shouldn’t be anything new.



I thought that was covered when you took a tour of the campus.  
 

A Little Halloween Thingy
 

Commissar, that was feckin' hilarious... uh, I mean utterly insulting!

Thank you for reporting this vile insult to the Beloved Empress. The creator of this "e-card" must be dealt with at once. Forget the shovels comrades, break out the AKs!
 

Chairman M. S. Punchenko

Comrades - stealing really means obtaining something that was previously denied to you by the forces of the Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy (which did, in all fairness, belong to you from the start!). So with “stealing” defined as a positive force for social change, we can now easily say that Her Excellency is stealing the Presidency that already belonged to her anyways – while, of course, exhibiting absolute moral authority.


Oh sorry, Comrade Chairman, you meant correct or acceptable stealing aka "Liberating in the name of the Common Good™". See, this is why you get to be a Chairman and I just run a uranium mine and "reeducate" The Party's foes.
 

Commissar M

Thank you for reporting this vile insult to the Beloved Empress. The creator of this "e-card" must be dealt with at once. Forget the shovels comrades, break out the AKs!

Er.... yes...must report this to our Beloved Empress... uh, you haven't see her around have you?
 

Commissar M

See, this is why you get to be a Chairman and I just run a uranium mine and "reeducate" The Party's foes.


Whoa... whoa... whoa... you run a uranium mine?? Are the Children™ working in your uranium mine being supplied with appropriate birth control?? And are your bathrooms signs up to code? What about Living Wages™? Is everyone recieving a decent Living Wage™? Hmm... I think the Party is going to have to send at least forty different Government agencies to do some much needed regulating, Commissar M. I mean, we just can't have anyone running a uranium mine.

Maybe we can work something out, Commissar M? How does that sound? I’ll let you – oh, I don’t know – think up of a figure, preferably with six figures, and then you can hand it in to my secretary on a slip of paper. Does that sound fair? I think it does… my secretary will be in touch.

Tootles!
 

Only six figures Chairman? Your generosity surprises me today. After all, uranium is a valuable resource these days. I myself am heavily invested in gas centrifuges.
 

If Commissar M knows what is good for him, he will slip under the desk $999,999.  If he wants to go 8 figures to be safe, he could go $999,999.99

he,he
 

And then you can sell him into slavery for that last cent.
 

How, exactly, does one sell anyone into slavery when we all practice professional courtesy?
 

Now surely Commissar Theocrtius, you would not imply that the Chairman does not deserve a cut of the action? Is that not professional courtesy? Or are you simply referring to the selling into slavery for a cent?
 

Quote:

How, exactly, does one sell anyone into slavery when we all practice professional courtesy?


The same way we get rid of our political opponents.  By hiring someone else to do the dirty work while we reap all the benefits.
 

Personally, I would prefer to not be known as a "professional." I recall all too well how Uncle Iosef felt about certain "professionals." He found them quite useful as a matter of fact... for laying foundations for great projects etc. They would positively bury themselves in work...
 

No, no, no, no. Doctors do not charge one another for treatment out of professional courtesy. And so we could not charge another of the Inner Sanctum. Unless we could get away with it.