In a surprising but generous move, the Obama Administration pledged to provide Obamacare free of charge to all certified jihadists world-wide, starting with the Al Qaeda-led Syrian rebels.

"This gesture of peace and goodwill to our less fortunate Misloom brothers is only a beginning," barked presidential spokesmouth Jay "Carney" Carney at a special press briefing in the Rose Garden this afternoon. "We were going to grant them waivers, but the President suggested that, hey, we're gonna have plenty of American tax dollars to throw around shortly, once Obamacare really gets off the ground, and what better way to support less fortunate freedom fighters in other lands than to give them free health care?".

Carney said that jihadists will be able to stop in at any American consulate or subsidiary starting tomorrow, like the one formerly in Benghazi, Libya, and sign up for Obamacare when they pick up their American-supplied weapons.

"While there will no doubt be an outcry from selfish Teabaggers and other bitter clingers, it's clear that we have the votes in congress to do this, should we ever actually ask them to vote, which isn't likely," stated Carney to audible chuckles from the press, "So we figured we'd just go ahead with the plan."

More to follow as this international program of goodwill develops...

Will they be getting subsidies to help them pay for their policies through the exchanges?

Comrade, they won't need either subsidies or exchanges - just like for all Americans, it's FREE!!!

R.O.C.K. in the USSA wrote:...just like for all Americans*,

* fine print reveals that "all" excludes rethugglikkans, capitalists, the odd libertarian, members of the military, and all non-unionized workers at Walmart. A public service announcement. Get back to work.

I guess when they reach 65 they'll be going on Medicare and collecting Social Security. Hey, what about food stamps and rent subsidies? Better yet, why not just declare them USSA citizens!

Captain Craptek wrote:Better yet, why not just declare them USSA citizens!

It's in the works, Comrade.

Will it also cover their goatfriends?

Dedhedvedev wrote:Will it also cover their goatfriends?

STD Clinics are provided, of course.

And Obamaphones.

Along with free Obamaphones, perhaps dear leader will handout free condoms with a citizenship forms printed on each one in various colors, stoning gray, decapitation red and Jihadi green along with reprints of Democrat talking points.

Brilliant idea by Dear Leader! Now jihadists will get same wonderful health care as all others on centralized government medicine systems. No need for any other weapons to use against them.

Since the government is now responsible for my healthcare, can I stop a Senator or Congressmen on the street and ask him to check me for a hernia?

Of course, this is what has always been planned comrades. Dear Leader has always intended to open up his glorious program to the world, there is no blood feud in geopolitcs!

Begin Official Transmission:

Benghazi Clinic Attack; Report Finds Workplace Gun Violence Reaches Across The Globe



The attack on the Benghazi Immediate Care Center on September, 11 2012 was carried out by extremists wielding AR-15 shotguns a report released by Eric Holder's Justice Department revealed this morning.

When department spokesperson Elizabeth O'bagy was asked where the information was obtained she stated that it was taken from "credible" Associated Press computers.

Speculation abounds that the perpetrators of the horrendous act were republican congressional aides who "simply wanted to make the president look bad".

Another source close to the situation tells Minitruth that the atrocity should be put behind us remarking, "what does it matter now?" and adding that "this was exaggerated just to damage a certain shoe-in for the presidency in the next election cycle."

The strength of this argument is bolstered by the fact that only an ambassador and a few bodyguards were slaughtered purged.

O'bagy says that the president will continue this initiative now that it has been brought into the open. "It is the right thing to do, for the Children™ and to build bridges with the Religion of Peace. The president intends to open clinics across Syria very, very soon."


End Transmission...

The kindest display of tolerance and caring from our dearest of dear leader -- and I will be excited to see how a beheading is . . . un-beheaded.

Fraulein Frankenfeinstein wrote:The kindest display of tolerance and caring from our dearest of dear leader -- and I will be excited to see how a beheading is . . . un-beheaded.

muslim beheading.jpg

Fraulein,

Your post raises a question.

Do you know that I have seen beheadings carried out with rusty machetes? I even saw one freedom loving boy hack an infidels head off with a hatchet that was clearly meant for use on trees and goats!

What were to happen if one of our young mujahedeen, like Mimi Pelosi's grandson, were to nick his finger with a rusty blade while carrying out the just will of Allah, blessed be his name!?

This initiative is good. Bringing Obamacare to the world is good. But we would not be good Progs if we fail to adjust our program to certain cultural sensitivities.

Quality machetes, double headed axes and scimitars for the People, NOW!

Comrade INGSOC, let me see what the my posting is reading...... yes, I see, it does not say Future Jihadi's, whether related to Nanny P or dear leader, may not be choosing own weaponry. So I am thinking they can choose machetes (as favored by our Mexicoians neo- drug jihadist), double headed axes (two for one slice?!) ball pointed pens or paperclips.... as long as not evil guns, we are good! And Obamacare available to all peoples of sensitivities.

This is glorious news! Dear Leader has expanded our options after being condemned by our local democratically elected appointed Death Panels™. It's no longer necessary to simply have your feeding tube yanked out withdrawn, they will fly a Jihadist to your favorite chair bedside to finish you off quickly. Beheadings for All!

Fraulein Frankenfeinstein wrote:The kindest display of tolerance and caring from our dearest of dear leader -- and I will be excited to see how a beheading is . . . un-beheaded.

muslim beheading.jpg

I do hope visits to the chiropractor are covered---one too many beheadings and a jihadi could throw out his back....

R.O.C.K. in the USSA wrote:

JihadiObamacare.jpg

In a surprising but generous move, the Obama Administration pledged to provide Obamacare free of charge to all certified jihadists world-wide, starting with the Al Qaeda-led Syrian rebels.
Carney said that jihadists will be able to stop in at any American consulate or subsidiary starting tomorrow, like the one formerly in Benghazi, Libya, and sign up for Obamacare when they pick up their American-supplied weapons.
More to follow as this international program of goodwill develops...

Comrade R.O.C.K., I am sure Dear Leader has not forgotten the healthcare needs of our dear jihadi womyn sisters when bestowing his Magna Crapera upon terrorist-types?

https://www.foxnews.com/world/2013/09/2 ... -in-syria/

Comrades, this just in:

Jihadists in several Middle Eastern nations, including Syria, Saudi Arabia, Libya, and Jordan, have threatened to behead members of the Obama administration due to fears that they may actually be charged for their new healthcare because of a just-discovered Obamacare software glitch.

However, Jihadi terrorist backer and family friend of various terrorist organizations Hillary Clinton aide Huma Weiner Abedin reassured the press that once Hillary™ is elected there will be nothing to fear from the terrorists freedom fighters.

(Image Liberated from the Arch-Reactionaries at Moonbattery.com.)

It's going to come in handy when Mossad gets through with them in Kenya, too.