Obama Delivers Major Policy Address at West Wall



In yet another in a line of historical foreign policy events in the middle east and Europe, President in Waiing Barak Obama demonsttated his depth of knowlege on foreign affairs by challenging Israeli Prime Minister Olmert to tear down the West Wall in the Holy City of Jerusalem which he stated was started 2 years ago in an effort to prevent peaceful Palestinian children from attending the schools of their choice. There was a minor disturbance when some one in the crowd shouted out "You *explitive deleted" fool, there is a Mosque up there." As the mad man was subdued and taken away, Obama said "No, don't be angry at him. He is just a victim of yesterday's thinking. I am for today, and for our children's tomorrow. I uh uh hope for uh change and know uh you have uh hope as well."

The Presumed POTUS truly did his homework before this trip...a tour de farce force of geoplitical genius and deception like no other before!

To soften his ultimatum message of hope and change to Israel, he took a moment to heal their souls: "Israel, uh, has always been a friend of Israel." That is code, comrades! He is either sending us subliminal messages to foment dissent against the Jews, or he has a bind in his shorts that temporarily cut off circulation to his brain.

Comrades, let me propose that we not only tear down the wall to let peaceful Palestinian children attend schools but also, in the spirit of bilingual education, offer bomb-making classes to them as well.

Comrade Cat, I believe that Obama was actually trying to buttress his call for the Western Wall to be torn down when he said "Israel has always been a friend of Israel." What he was saying was that while Israel has always looked after it's own self centered hegemonic self, it has neglected the needs of the peace loving states outside it's borders and the peaceful Muslims within.

Obama worked hard to show the Israeli's that he understood their minor concerns like no other candidate by requesting a traditional Israeli folk dish, Hamas, for dinner. Needless to say this really impressed his hosts.

Hamas bi Tahiti?

Marshal Pupovich wrote:Comrade Cat, I believe that Obama was actually trying to buttress his call for the Western Wall to be torn down when he said "Israel has always been a friend of Israel." What he was saying was that while Israel has always looked after it's own self centered hegemonic self, it has neglected the needs of the peace loving states outside it's borders and the peaceful Muslims within.

Of course! In Obama's forward way of thinking, Israel must become an enemy of Israel in order to become a friend of Israel, similar to Party members like Ayers, Wright, et al, wishing to destroy Amerika IN ORDER TO SAVE IT! This is Progressive version of "tough love". What great good fortune that Israel has so many wonderful friends in region that are ready to make ultimate sacrifice to save her by helping destroy her! Comrade Obama was subtly encouraging their efforts with his nuanced rhetoric. How great is His mind! It is deeper than the layers of toxic waste buried near the People's shipyard!

Of course it could be that Obama's hearing and speech are confused because his entire worldview is of the inside of his ass.

Good news, citizens:

Phil Spector endorses Obama at his murder trial hearing

Rejoice! All praise be to the Messiah!

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Of course it could be that Obama's hearing and speech are confused because his entire worldview is of the inside of his ass.

Hmmm, and if he had argula for lunch, the feedback could be positively deafening!

I see an industry on the Bowels of St. Obama, which would be copromancy, auguring by shit. His papers in law school are <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coprolite">coprolites</a>, and each of speeches a glistening little fecaloid of felicity.

Hope! Peace! Change! Yes I can! Yes I can! he strains. As he discourses on his worldview which is as solipsistic and self-satisfied as any octogenarian old woman who has steadfastly refused to take in any information for the last seventy years.

Given lots of hope, and change, and time, and tremendous pressure, the Chosen One might produce a diamond of miraculous beauty. Question is though, who is the lucky one to go spelunking for the magnificent gem...

The true gems were the beauts Obama laid in his far reaching, historic, never to be topped speeches on his tour.

""People of the world, look at Berlin, where a wall came down, a continent came together, and history proved that there is no challenge too great for a world that stands as one,"

A wall that would still be standing were it not for the stalwart determination of President Carter and the democrats in the Congress. Just look anywhere Obama goes and you will see his droppings of wisdom.

Ah yes, Pupovich. And the Democrats invented, not discovered, calculus and physics too, and medicine, and made the earth go round the sun.

Oh. Sorry. The universe goes round Nansky's head. Or Our Empress's steatopygian ass.

Marshal Pupovich wrote: ""People of the world, look at Berlin, where a wall came down, a continent came together, and history proved that there is no challenge too great for a world that stands as one,"

A wall CAME down? Did it decide on its own to do that???? Barry baby, do you think maybe the thousands of soldiers and airmen that served there over the years plus 40+ years of steely resolve by Presidents (Presidents, not Marquee Idols) with names like Truman and Reagan may have had a LITTLE BIT to do with that? This man is not even qualified to be called "shithead."

Giving agency to someone would be to suggest that he is not omnipotent. I would be interested to see if he actually admires anyone, save of course Jeremiah Wright.

Point well taken. Use of the passive voice is a well known technique used by politicians to escape blame for some fiasco (i.e. "Mistakes were made...") but Obama's use here is more subtle and insidious. If he would've credited the leaders of the past, he would invite comparison with his own "accomplishments", a game in which he is at a big disadvantage (surely even he realizes this?) But by avoiding mention of them, he sidesteps the issue entirely while still utilizing their legacy as part of his dog-and-pony show. If Obama spent as much time actually working at being great as he has pretending to be great, there might be a valid reason to take him seriously.

Ah, who am I kidding.....

Commissar Theocritus wrote:
Oh. Sorry. The universe goes round Nansky's head. Or Our Empress's steatopygian ass.

With all due respect Commissar Theocritus do you mean Asteroids or Hemorrhoids. Empress Pelosi is truly an "Asshole" both figuratively and Literally, Perhaps she should team up with Rosie O'Donnell then they could be old, stupid and fat. I feel we should all pitch in and buy Rosie a case of twinkies, she could chow down on them and explode in a cloud of Cellulite and Spandex.

I saw Paula Deen, whom I once liked, on the TV Food network inviting Rosie onto her show. The noise scared the cats out of the room. The mikes could have been used to calibrate nuclear explosions.

Opiate, I never thought that I would ever agree with Geraldine Ferraro, but when she said that Obama got where he was because he was black, I do agree with her. He has not been tested as much as someone else would have. Do you think that Ferraro is self-aware enough to have learned that looking in the mirror?

One of the problems with the self-esteem con is that people are not taught to earn things but to assume them. Obama reminds me of the press lord in Evelyn Waugh's <i>Scoop</i>. When he was right, his flunky would say, "Absolutely, Lord Copper." When he was wrong, the flunky would say, "Up to a point, Lord Copper." In this way his feelings were never hurt.

A man of a lot more substance, and testing, Jack Kennedy, folded like a cheap suit when Kruschev banged his shoe on the table. Obama folded like a cheap suit when labor bared a fang at him. What will this empty man do when the President of Iran threatens to nuke Europe and then us?

The pity is that Obama really is smart and talented, but he's never been forced to use it.

Achievements that are assumed always have a cost. If an engineer assumes mastery of his subject then the airplane falls out of the sky. But in politics the failure, and there is always failure, is later, and there is interest to be paid.

Have my comrades here gone crazy? What sort of ThoughtCrime™ has broken loose here? Has the system broken down? At least I have the good sense to know to use the when I admit that I too nearly lost it when I saw Rosie O'FullofIt on Paula Dean's show. Or to make any comment about the obvious fact that Obama is but a suit, and even his advisers seem to be complete idiots at times. For instance, finally yesterday I heard some woman who shut up some dem talking head by mentioning how one of Obama's stated positions was to take the US nukes off of "hair trigger alert," which apparently they had not realized was done something like 20 years ago.

Commissar Theocritus, I don't know for sure if Ferraro experienced a "St Paul on the Road to Damascus" moment and suddenly realized the inherent bias in the leftist policies she had espoused all these years or if she had known this all along but only protested because they could not be manipulated to the advantage of her cause in these circumstances. The truth will be determined by watching her future course; if she modifies her stance in light of what she has learned or resorts to the same old crap when it is to her advantage again.

I agree, JFK was a far more substantial character than BO and yet Khrushchev had little respect for him, a view which nearly resulted in disaster. My prediction is that faced with any adversity as President, Obama would melt away like a popsicle in the Chicago summer. He has faced no challenges and learnt nothing but in books. His collapse will lead to a national disaster, either impeachment or possibly a coup of some sort. He represents, quite frankly, affirmative action carried to its ridiculous conclusion and a living example of the danger inherent in the modern self-esteem movement. My fear is that he will be elected and the country will learn the lesson about the foolishness of these policies the hard way.

Marshal Pupovich wrote: Just look anywhere Obama goes and you will see his droppings of wisdom.

All too true. These droppings of wisdom are beginning to pile up, and people in the lamestream media are picking up on this obvious fact. An Obama Turd-O-Rama!

And to Commissar Theocritus' point, the interest to be paid for the potential lapses coming in the near future make the current housing bailout look like a roll of the dice. He is literally the embodiment of pride before the fall. I just hope we all don't fall with him.

I never believed I would witness the plot of the Peter Sellers movie "Being There" actually unfold before my eyes.

Umm - is this mike on? (looks around) Great Mao's Ghost, are we live??? (weak grin) This has been a test of the ThoughtCrime Prevention Service. Had this been an actual thoughtcrime, you would have been warned to stay in your homes while the perpetrator and his family are removed for re-education, his house burned, and his friends interrogated.

Test over. You will now return to state-sponsored programming. Long live the Blessed Child!

Opiate of the People wrote:I agree, JFK was a far more substantial character than BO and yet Khrushchev had little respect for him, a view which nearly resulted in disaster.

Comrade...I see you have been into the files and you have been cleared for this. The facts of the matter is that while everyone thinks of JFK as a Party candidate, our comrades in the Motherland had to "demote" JFK in an effort to lead a more progressive candidate, his brother Bobby, to the presidency. Unfortunately, a VRWC undercover agent in the disguise of a peaceful Islamic student took this progressive flower out of the garden of Red Eden. But we had a backup plan in effect by now, and so they missed our most valued agent of them all, Ted "The Red" Kennedy. That stalwart has been doing our work for over 40 years now!

Comrade Pup,
Yes, the Kennedy clan has always heard the siren song of People's movements in their hearts. While the sympathies of patriarch Joseph P. lay with the National Socialists in Berlin, the true Revolutionary understands the only real difference between Naziism and Stalinism is the color of the shirts. And today, a new generation carries forth the torch! One of the younger scions (don't ask me which one, I think one of RFK's boys) has appeared in TV ads extolling the virtues of Comrade Chavez under the guise of "oil for the poor." Oh, 'tis giving me a tingle in my heartstrings similar to the one Comrade Mathews gets... never mind. And now first daughter Caroline has spoken how Comrade Obama is the rebirth of her departed father JFK! HA, HA, HA! JFK probably would have spit nickels if someone compared him to the likes of an Obama in that day and age. JFK (and RFK) could barely stomach having Adlai Stevenson represent them in our beloved U.N. and Comrade Obama makes Adlai Stevenson look like, well, JFK!

Y, JFK was truly the "black sheep" of the family (my apologies for the racist remark) in terms of committment to the Revolution. Imagine making wonderful, kindhearted soul like Nikita Khrushchev withdraw defensive missles from Cuba and not allowing people of West Berlin to join their brethren in East in glorious Socialism! What would Agent Ted have done in his stead? Partially thanks to Oldsmobile (unable to make car that floated), we cannot really know but more than likely now would be working on collective farm and looking forward to purchase of new shovel. But thanks to Comrade Obama, our dream may still be realized!

Comrades, I do not see why anyone would have a sad face over the election of the Obamessiah. He is proof that facts mean nothing and that marketing means all.

Carried to its logical conclusion, we merely deny that we weigh too much and no diet is needed. We deny that we are overextended and spend a month on the Gulf Coast.

It's all marketing, comrades, who who knows that better than we do?