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Obama's Crazy Uncle Surfaces in Moscow

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CBS News' Maria Gavrilovic wrote: Obama also spoke about his uncle, who was part of the American brigade that helped to liberate Auschwitz. He said the family legend is that, upon returning from war, his uncle spent six months in an attic.

The Auschwitz-Birkenau camp was in Poland. It was liberated Jan. 27, 1945 by the First Ukrainian Front of the Red Army - just as the Western Allies were engaged in the Battle of the Bulge.

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And here's one of Obama's less known crazy uncles devising a winning strategy with Jimmy Carter's attack rabbit.

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Seems he has quite a few crazy uncles..........ummm,not that I would disparage the insane among us.


Obama/Wright '08

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So, which one is it?

A) Obama is stupid, and actually thinks Auschwitz was liberated by American Troops. He then invented an uncle and put him with these troops.

B) Obama's family memory is faulty and his uncle was actually with the American troops that liberated Dachau.

C) Obama decided that his voters were too stupid to know what Dachau was, but that they might recognize Auschwitz and adjusted history accordingly.

D) Obama is talking out of his ass (again), inventing a family history to suit the target audience.

E) It really was his uncle, serving in the Red Army.

Personally, I think that either A or D is the most likely.

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I was listening to noted hater and Bourgeoisie icon Rush Limbaugh, trying to work myself into a hate filled frenzy so that I might become overwhelmed by the spirit of Che start speaking in Marxist tongues. It must have worked because when I came out of the trance I was listening to the song "Cult of Personality" by the band Living Colour. It got me to thinking how dear leader needs a powerful Leni Riefenstahl-esque video featuring that song, and Father Obama's many pearls of wisdom. For instance, his ability to speak with the apparitions of fallen US servicemen and women (hit hardest by post-traumatic stress disorder).

I wish I had the time, but a video featuring cult of personality with voice overs of Obama's gaffes, err pearls of higher wisdom, would be just the kind of thing to get the proles revolutionary blood boiling. If we did it right, I'll bet our dear friends at Democrat Underground, KOS, and the Huff Whores would gladly help us distribute it.

RIK

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Next up, the Fourth of July! The entire nation wonders how The Gaffer will pound the square peg of his family tree into the round hole of this holiday.

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Maybe he is related to Crispus Attucks....

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Auschwitz, Buchenwald, Ohrdruf, Dachau--come on, Comrades, what's the difference? They all did the same thing! Why nitpick over petty details like which camp on which side of whatever river did Grandobama liberate?

Besides, was the Great Patriotic War not a collective effort? Does the word "alliance" set any clappers clanging inside those great empty spaces of yours--or have you forgotten what it means in the wake of the evil Bush going it alone in Iraq, without any approval whatsoever from the UN?

Give the Obamessiah a break, would you? It doesn't help The Children at all, and you're only trying to distract everyone from The Real Issues. And why would you want to do that, I ask? Could it be you're really a bunch of digitially lobotomized, Faux News addicted, knuckle-dragging, Bush-worshiping 19 percenters who can't defend your non-existent position on The Real Issues--who have nothing with which to back up your vicious, mean-spirited attacks on the Obamessiah's position?

And so what if he saw dead people! It might have done Bush some good years ago to have seen all the millions of dead people he's slaughtered! Instead, his administration has illegally suppressed all photos of those of who have been killed and maimed in his illegal, immoral war.

I think it's refreshing to finally have a leader who's able to connect with ALL people, be they dead or alive, instead of just people who own oil companies. The Obamessiah obviously has powers greater than any leader we've known before. How can you not drool over someone like that?

vanderleun
I am stealing the graphic. From each according to their abiitiy and all that.

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Pinkie,you always have the best names and phrases....Grandobama...love it!

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Comrades, let us all remember that a gaff is only a gaff when uttered by a Rethug-Neo-Con or former Party icons (i.e. Clintons) who have been reduced to non-person status.

Now, let us be good captains and lead our platoons of Hope and Change© forward to victory (seeing as how captains lead platoons in The Messiah's new model Army Of Peace).

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Oh, and thanks to Comrade Red Square for posting the image of Uncle Iosef. I have now stolen uh, liberated it in the the name of The People for use as an avatar!

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Commissar M, we have more Uncle Iosefs around here than Obama has crazy uncles--or are they all one and the same?

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Yes, it's getting a little crowded in the Stalin department. It's time for all our Stalin brothers/sisters to develop a distinct look and personality and a unique first name, like the Marx brothers did. Then we can have the Stalin Brothers show too, and make movies like A Day in The Kremlin and A Night in The Mausoleum.

We already have Groucho Stalin, and now we need a Harpo Stalin and so on....

Comrades, please decide among themselves. Looking forward to the Stalin Trialogs.

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vanderleun wrote:I am stealing the graphic. From each according to their abiitiy and all that.

It looks good on your site.

But the correct term, I believe, is not "stealing" but "liberating" - according to your ability to formulate your needs. And that ability differs of course. For example, Party organ donor Ivan Betinov only needs a bottle of vodka and a warm fur hat for the winter, while Chairman Punchenko needs a solid golden door for his mansion - and not just any door, but the one with bas reliefs that artistically depict the suffering of the oppressed toiling masses.

You may hate Chairman and think he's a crook and a charlatan, but as a good progressive you must be willing to die defending his right to have his need satisfied by the government at your expense.

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YEE-haw!!! Howdie-Hi there, friends and neighbors! Ah'm Crazy Ivan Betinov and this here's the Stalin Storehouse! We got more Stalins than you can run a tank over, so we got to LET 'EM GO! We got Tall Stalins, Short Stalins, Fat Stalins and Thin Stalins! We got Young Stalins, Old Stalins, We even got one Stalin without NO moustache! We got wind-up Stalins that'll march right into Budapest!

Here at the Stalin Storehouse, we got a Stalin for your every Stalin need!

++Neighbors throwin' too many wild parties? Pick up a Purgin' Stalin and trim that party down to size!
++Trouble with the mortgage? We got the Bank Robbin' Stalin that'll turn the table on them Capitalist fat-cats!
++Bunch of whinin' relatives 'bout to eat you out of house and home? Gulag Stalin'll take care of that problem!

And don't forget...

The May Madness Sale is goin' on RIGHT NOW! With every new Stalin purchased in May we'll throw in a FREE tin of moustache wax!

And as always...

You'll get a "I got Shipped to Siberia and All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt" T-Shirt with every visit to the Stalin Storehouse! That's the Stalin Storehouse, Friends and Neighbors, where if we can't beat the competition's best deal on a new or used Stalin, we'll have the competition assassinated, even if we have to go to Mexico to do it!

That's the Stalin Storehouse, right next to "Ushankas-R-Us" just off State Highway 17 in the Red Star Shopping Center! Ya'll Come See Us!

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Betinov - when we have our own TV show, this will be our sponsor's commercial.

In the meantime, consider satisfying the Stalin need of this impoverished proletarian girl. She is so poor she has no clothes on, but she does love her uncle Joe!

Click here to see progressive Stalin Erotica
<br>Click here to see progressive Stalin Porn

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Just pick a random, obligatory comment about "getting a little head" and insert here.

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Are you referring to Comrade TinyHead a.k.a. BigFurHat?


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Ivan Betinov wrote:Just pick a random, obligatory comment about "getting a little head" and insert here.
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At least it wasn't this head, which would be an occupational hazard for a number of reasons.

SOCIAL REALISM:
we leave nothing to imagination!

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Social Realism:

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Not to be confused with Socialist Realism:

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Glad to see you're back to your normal state, Betty. The medicated hot pockets did an amazing job. They always do.

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Commissarka Pinkie wrote:Commissar M, we have more Uncle Iosefs around here than Obama has crazy uncles--or are they all one and the same?

We are Iosef, resistance is futile.

Yeah, it's pretty much a clone army, kind of a commie Boys From Brazil.

Ah, I guess I'll have to find something more original then.

UPDATE: OK, so how's my new avatar, then? Maybe not the man of steel but the man of foil, more in keeping with today's average Progressive.

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Wait just a rotten Trotsky minute here Comrades! There can be only one Man of Steel, and you are seeing him right now! What sort of ThoughtCrime™ has come over the collective here? Sure, you think your collective is "independent" from that of the Rodina, but I can assure you comrades, that we have ways to clean up these issues, ways that would make the Empress curl up and cry. It is refreshing to see the advances here in the USSA, but don't fall for these wannabe Stalins....I am the Real Deal, the Man of Steel!

Let me reintroduce myself....



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Commissarka Pinkie wrote:Commissar M, is that a tinfoil hat?

Da! Isn't it lovely? You can't see this in the photo but it does have the Obama '08 logo on the back. I'm waiting for my red star hat pin to come in so I can decorate the front.

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It looks as if it curves upward into a point. It looks like you're wearing a giant Hershey's Kiss on your head.

Pinkie is intrigued.

Just don't tell Betinov.

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Oh, Betinov, you are a riot. I can almost see this on one of the local cable channels, ending with all your employees gathered in the parking lot, waving at the camera.

Can I bring the kids? Will there be free balloons?


Ivan Betinov wrote:YEE-haw!!! Howdie-Hi there, friends and neighbors! Ah'm Crazy Ivan Betinov and this here's the Stalin Storehouse! We got more Stalins than you can run a tank over, so we got to LET 'EM GO! We got Tall Stalins, Short Stalins, Fat Stalins and Thin Stalins! We got Young Stalins, Old Stalins, We even got one Stalin without NO moustache! We got wind-up Stalins that'll march right into Budapest!

Here at the Stalin Storehouse, we got a Stalin for your every Stalin need!

++Neighbors throwin' too many wild parties? Pick up a Purgin' Stalin and trim that party down to size!
++Trouble with the mortgage? We got the Bank Robbin' Stalin that'll turn the table on them Capitalist fat-cats!
++Bunch of whinin' relatives 'bout to eat you out of house and home? Gulag Stalin'll take care of that problem!

And don't forget...

The May Madness Sale is goin' on RIGHT NOW! With every new Stalin purchased in May we'll throw in a FREE tin of moustache wax!

And as always...

You'll get a "I got Shipped to Siberia and All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt" T-Shirt with every visit to the Stalin Storehouse! That's the Stalin Storehouse, Friends and Neighbors, where if we can't beat the competition's best deal on a new or used Stalin, we'll have the competition assassinated, even if we have to go to Mexico to do it!

That's the Stalin Storehouse, right next to "Ushankas-R-Us" just off State Highway 17 in the Red Star Shopping Center! Ya'll Come See Us!

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Hah! Iz more like my krazy nephew surface in Amerika! I am uncle that liberated Auschwitz. Troops in vanguard was Armenian Brigade not Amerikanski Brigade. Silly Barack -very poor in subject political geography. Slava Partiya! Never mind Auschwitz -Moi nephew needs liberation frum Dimwitz! Attic -schmattik! I lived upstairs in Kremlin. Old Russian insult iz "make soup out of him"!

Da! "Bisque de Barack" iz hot stuff but red and all wet!

New heroic slogan! "Obamunists of all countries unite! You have nothing to lose but everything you've got! Ourrrah!"

Iz glorious!

Now -must go, iz important stuff to make 5 year plan of special action middle classes liquidation sale. Special deport order. Big stuff!

Hey! Depraved thought -If Hills dahlink doesn't beat moi nephew, (in election not in combined vodka drinking and mud wrestling -sicko!) she could have job as heroic overalls and tractor model! Da! For evening wear -just turn on headlamps! HaHa!

Do sveedahnia tovarischie!

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Wha Thankee Thar, Miz Pinke! I plum forgot about our little comrades...

YEE-HAW! It's your ole pal Crazy Ivan Betinov, comin' at yuh LIVE from the Stalin Storehouse again!


ImageGot some little Pards buckin' down on the ranch? Bring 'em on down to the Stalin Storehouse! We got beet ice cream and Comrade Cola for ever'body! Drop the little buckaroos off In our Rodina Romper Room while you look over some of the real beauties we've got on the lot! We got plenty of good clean fun and games like "Inform on my Neighbor" and "First Up Against the Wall" to keep em busy!


And coming just in time for the June Days Super Blowout, we got the International's Acclaimed Mime

ImageBolshie the Clown!! Image
The kiddies just love Bolshie's hilarious "Who's Afraid of the Trotsky Monster?" act! And after the show he'll be makin' FREE balloon proles! Come sing along with Bolshie!

And while the little critters is frolickin' with Bolshie, why you and the missus can drive home a deal on the Stalin of your DREAMS!

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We got Big Stalins, Little Stalins, Thick Stalins and Thin Stalins! Check out our complete line of INFLATABLE Stalins for your next May Day celebration! We got Light-up Stalins, Technicolor Stalins, Stained-glass Stalins and the all-new Paint-by Numbers Stalin! And don't miss the "Action-Man" Stalin, with KUNG-FU GRIP!!!

Don't Forget, At The Stalin Storehouse we're more than just a discount outlet!

We've got a top notch service department to help keep your Stalin in perfect working order! Everything from hair oil changes to complete undercarraige overhaul, we can handle your Stalin's ev'ry service need!
That's the Stalin Storehouse, Friends and Neighbors, where if we can't beat the competition's best deal on a new or used Stalin, we'll have the competition assassinated, even if we have to go to Mexico to do it!

That's the Stalin Storehouse, right next to "Ushankas-R-Us" just off State Highway 17 in the Red Star Shopping Center! Ya'll Come See Us!
The Stalin Storehouse 1-800-GO PURGE

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I'll take one "Action-Man" Stalin,with KUNG-FU GRIP,Comrade Betinov.

How wide is the grip,exactly?.....I'm considering using it on the H-U when he gets outta line.

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Commissarka Pinkie wrote:It looks as if it curves upward into a point. It looks like you're wearing a giant Hershey's Kiss on your head.

Pinkie is intrigued.

Just don't tell Betinov.

Yes, this version does curve to a point so that I may still receive Party approved transmissions from Comrade Laika. Unfortunately, size limits for uploaded avatars forced me to edit the glorious receiving apparatus.

For variety, I also have a Captain Chaos model (think Butters from South Park) and I am currently working on a version modeled after a Soviet visor cap. With fewer dissidents to handle at the William J. Clinton Memorial Reeducation Facility And Eco-Friendly Uranium Mine (soon to be renamed), I've had a lot of free time to drink vodka, watch Party-approved porn and fashion various head gear from aluminum foil. Oh, and I got my 5000 point Soviet themed 40K Imperial Guard army painted up too, although I only played one game against the camp's resident Ork player before I had him uh, "reassigned".

Moral of that story is that when the camp commissar is an embittered drunk and a sore loser, you really should let him win.

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Lenin 'n Thingies wrote:I'll take one "Action-Man" Stalin,with KUNG-FU GRIP,Comrade Betinov.

How wide is the grip,exactly?.....I'm considering using it on the H-U when he gets outta line.
Would a Soviet GI Joe with Gung Ho Grip work for you?LINK

No joke here! I think I might have to buy one of these. OK, it's technically an Indiana Jones character but folks "in the know" tell me that these supporting character figures are based on the newer style GI Joes that were out a few years ago.

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Another Satisfied customer! The KUNG-FU GRIP will give you hours of rigid attention from whatever body part you clamp it on; make sure you read the owner's manual carefully, though; sometimes that release mechanism hangs.

And don't forget, Lenin 'n Thingies, while we specialize in Stalins, our service department can usually handle most basic service problems with any New Soviet Man, so if that Husband Unit of yours is still out of line next week, drop on by and we'll get him up on the rack and see what we can do to get him lined back up.

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I followed Pupovich's link on another thread and got a Monkey ad for the Stalin Storehouse. Not the right look and not the right accent, but it's better than nothing. Too bad the "text to speech" option only takes one paragraph. https://www.careerbuilder.com/monk-e-mail/?mid=27191699

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Oh sure, Commisar M, you CAN throw your money away on that cheap knock-off, but will it compare to a GENUINE Stalin Storehouse model? Did you check the country-of-origin? Some of our fraternal allies have been having a little problem getting the lead out, and I'm not talking about slow shipping times here. Always look for the "INTELigentsia INSIDE" sticker when buying your Stalin.

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Red Square wrote:I followed Pupovich's link on another thread and got a Monkey ad for the Stalin Storehouse. Not the right look and not the right accent, but it's better than nothing. Too bad the "text to speech" option only takes one paragraph. https://www.careerbuilder.com/monk-e-mail/?mid=27191699
Use the phone method.
Just like leaving a voicemail.

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The H-U is not currently out of line,Comrade Betinov....but he certainly was last week. I lost a bet to him, and he said his payment was that I not post on the Cube for all of the days that he was off work....4 days w/out interacting on the Cube.
He didn't,however, specify that i couldn't READ the Cube...so atleast I was able to keep up on my fellow comrades :)

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Commissar M wrote: Would a Soviet GI Joe with Gung Ho Grip work for you?LINK

No joke here! I think I might have to buy one of these. OK, it's technically an Indiana Jones character but folks "in the know" tell me that these supporting character figures are based on the newer style GI Joes that were out a few years ago.

That is a good candidate for the People's action figure. "Stop polluter!" He screamed, aiming the pistol in his sure-handed grip at the SUV driver. Although to truly be the People's action figure, he would have to be androgynized and wear a bright green cap that said "National Laywers Guild Legal Observer"

RIK

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Red Square wrote:Yes, it's getting a little crowded in the Stalin department. It's time for all our Stalin brothers/sisters to develop a distinct look and personality and a unique first name, like the Marx brothers did. Then we can have the Stalin Brothers show too, and make movies like A Day in The Kremlin and A Night in The Mausoleum.

We already have Groucho Stalin, and now we need a Harpo Stalin and so on....

Comrades, please decide among themselves. Looking forward to the Stalin Trialogs.




♪♪... And that's Uncle Joe
He's a movin' kind of slow
At the GULAG...

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Red Square wrote:Yes, it's getting a little crowded in the Stalin department. It's time for all our Stalin brothers/sisters to develop a distinct look and personality and a unique first name, like the Marx brothers did. Then we can have the Stalin Brothers show too, and make movies like A Day in The Kremlin and A Night in The Mausoleum.

We already have Groucho Stalin, and now we need a Harpo Stalin and so on....

Comrades, please decide among themselves. Looking forward to the Stalin Trialogs.

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Beautiful, Comrade Iosef! To reward your efforts the Party has attached your picture ("avatar") to your name, so that you no longer have to paste it manually on the monitor screen with Guerilla Glue(TM).

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Please detach the redundant pictures where appropriate.

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Red Square wrote:Beautiful, Comrade Iosef! To reward your efforts the Party has attached your picture ("avatar") to your name, so that you no longer have to paste it manually on the monitor screen with Guerilla Glue(TM).

Please detach the redundant pictures where appropriate.

Spasiba, Comrade Square! The Party is most generous. I serve the Rodina.

Also rest assured that redundant likenesses of Iosef Vissarionovich have been summarily purged.

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I'm happy to see that Guerilla Glue has changed their logo. Now that the M word and M images are banned, gorilla must be next.

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(Karakter off)
Not suprising Obama would THINK his reletives would be doing something of that magnitude, and yet it's a complete load of crap.

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Admire the wares of Socialist Serenity(TM)...

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