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Obama's Resume Revealed!!!

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Friends, supporters, contributors and other non-racists: the October September Suprise we have been waiting for has arrived! Comrade Axelrood and sidekick Poofy have for months been sandbagging the BushMcSame thugs into thinking that Comrade Obama was an inexperienced neophyte; now those idiots have fallen into the trap! At this time, we reveal all of Comrade Obama's TRUE experience and credentials so that our enemies may choke on them! You want accomplishments? Obama's GOT 'EM, BABY!
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Furthermore, these items have all been meticulously documented and vetted and you can find this material at our web site https://www.obama_yes_we_can_believe_it.org If you are unable to reach this site, it is because Karl Rove is still blocking it with his mind rays. Call him at the secret Rethuglican hotline number 1-800-SCREW-USA and demand he cut it out! We will be filing a suit in Judge Daley's courtroom on this matter.

Now, lookee here at Obama's REAL resume:

- Negotiated the purchase of Alaska from the Indians Native Americans Indians for $24 worth of "HOPE" campaign buttons. Take THAT, Sarah Palin!

- Will solve the energy crisis by revealing the prototype perpetual motion machine the CEO of Exxon has been hiding in his basement after stealing it off a UFO.

- Declined offer to have his face put on Mt. Rushmore because he wanted his staff to get some of the credit

- Was one of Christ's original 57 apostles

- Devised the tactics successfully used by Gen. Patton to sink the German Battleship Bismarck during the Korean War. Patton was heard to whimper, "But Obama! Take on a battleship armed only with a gross of toothbrushes? We can't!" Obama replied, "YES WE CAN!" And they did!

- As a Constitutional lawyer, he CREATED the Constitution! The ships and the document!

- As a community organizer, he organized the 1969 NY Mets to a SuperBowl victory over the heavily favored Baltimore Red Sox. This won him the coveted medal for Sports & Community Organizer of the Epoch.

- Invented the teleprompter. He uses it so much because he is trying to test out the various improvements he has made.

- One Sunday while napping praying at the Trinity United Church, he heard the Rev. Wright exclaim "God Damn America!" Sensing God was ticked, he jumped up to the stage and prayed, "O Father, forgive this man, for he was knocking boots with my grandma last night and is still little woozy from the ViagraTM I invented." The Lord spaketh, "Ok. This is my beloved Obama in whom I am well pleased and am going to vote for someday." Thus sayeth the Lord.

- Had to give up bowling because he rolled nothing but 300 games. Instead, selflessly devoted his spare time to teaching Tiger Woods to golf.

- Prevented numerous attempted terrorist attacks including the planned destruction of Che Stadium in NYC and the attempted break-up of the Village People.

- Will solve the current Banking Crisis by putting lipstick on a Piggy Bank

- Fixed Einstein's original formula: "No Al, it is not E=MC3"

Yes, Comrades, now you know the TRUTH! The truth will set you free but it is not free, so please fill out your pledge form NOW so that the truth comes out! And don't forget your secret Obama "Change We Can Believe In" key chains with matching earrings!

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Comrade ahhh the truth has set the world free, but you missed the where ObamaMessiah, invented WARP theory. "You further failed to mention that the Messiah is actually Ferringhi. We are still waiting for him to pick up a Batliff, and challenge McShame to a battle to the death.

https://thepeoplescube.com/red/viewtopic.php?t=2089&start=0&postdays=0&postorder=asc&highlight=<br>

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I think I'm speaking for comrade O'Brian when I say
Freedom is Slavery
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K.G.B. Komisar wrote:Comrade ahhh the truth has set the world free, but you missed the where ObamaMessiah, invented WARP theory. "You further failed to mention that the Messiah is actually Ferringhi. We are still waiting for him to pick up a Batliff, and challenge McShame to a battle to the death.

https://thepeoplescube.com/red/viewtopic.php?t=2089&start=0&postdays=0&postorder=asc&highlight=<br>


Komisar, I must pass along this secret message from Axelrod and Poofy: Ix-nay on the pace-say lien-ay tuff-say until after the ection-elay! Oh, and please no references to Obama's new book, "To Serve Man". It's not a cookbook. Really, it isn't. No, really.

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Opiate of the People wrote:
K.G.B. Komisar wrote:Comrade ahhh the truth has set the world free, but you missed the where ObamaMessiah, invented WARP theory. "You further failed to mention that the Messiah is actually Ferringhi. We are still waiting for him to pick up a Batliff, and challenge McShame to a battle to the death.

https://thepeoplescube.com/red/viewtopic.php?t=2089&start=0&postdays=0&postorder=asc&highlight=<br>


Komisar, I must pass along this secret message from Axelrod and Poofy: Ix-nay on the pace-say lien-ay tuff-say until after the ection-elay! Oh, and please no references to Obama's new book, "To Serve Man". It's not a cookbook. Really, it isn't. No, really.


Please forgive me, I was going through my desk and just found that memo, not to mention the directive to send a crew over to the "Hairclub for men" and confiscate all of Bidens records, (Including the ones he stiffed them on the bill)

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K.G.B. Komisar wrote:
Please forgive me, I was going through my desk and just found that memo, not to mention the directive to send a crew over to the "Hairclub for men" and confiscate all of Bidens records, (Including the ones he stiffed them on the bill)


Party must be patient with Slow Joe, he has many health issues; his podiatrist found he has a severe foot problem. It seems his mouth is permanently attached to it.


Joe Biden at a rally in Flat Rock, Michigan, September 15, 2008:

The Republican party and some of the blogs and others on the far right, are trying very hard to paint a picture of this man, they're trying the best as they can to mischaracterize who he is and what he stands for.

All this stuff about how different Barack Obama is, they're not just used to somebody really smart. They're just not used to somebody who's really well educated. They just don't know quite how to handle it. Cause if he's as smart as Barack is he must not be from my neighborhood.


 
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