Barack Obama has advised kids this Halloween that went to too many houses and have too much candy to redistribute it to those with less. "When you spread the candy around, it's good for everybody." he confirmed.


"After all of the treats have been collected at the end of the night, children will be required to bring their candy to central collection locations in their communities. There, government contractors — most likely ACORN workers who need work between elections — will collect the candy from the children and record their information. Then they will count all of the candy up and divide it equally amongst all of the children in the area. The treats will then be redistributed to everybody, including those who stayed home that night"

Your children will think it's unfair that they did all the work but don't get to reap the full rewards of their efforts. After you finish wiping their tears, you can use the occasion as a teachable moment and tell your children what they just experienced is an example of how socialism works. Then they'll understand.

Another fantastic idea by The Chosen One. Thanks for sharing. OM08. I remember Halloween back in my misspent, selfish youth as a time of fun and friendship. A time to celebrate creativity in a artful form, a time to visit neighbors and a once a year chance to stay out extra late with my parents blessing. And the delicious candy. Trading with my brother and sisters, eating all the fun sized snicker bars first. I remember hoping to find that one house that gave out the gigantic sized hershey bars, and feeling cheated when someone gave fruit, or coupons. (WTF?) Everyone seemed happy. Even the adults got into it, except for a few neighbors that were always grumpy and left the light off, refusing to open the door. We knew they wouldn't, but we knocked anyway.

I still feel guilty about this shameful ritual looking back. Being forced out into the night as a child to beg mostly strangers for food items I knew would make me sick as a dog by midnight. What in the hell were my parents thinking? They were not thinking. Neither was I. Sombody should have been thinking FOR us.

Fast forward to today. I live in a very rural location, with few houses within walking distance. My daughter does not have a large pool of homes to collect from. In fact, she has never trick or treated in her life. Her schoolmates being turned loose out into the cold to collect unhealthy food items under the guise of "fun", while she sits at home watching The Rocky Horror Picture show (learning about the troubled lives of alien transvestites) makes her feel cheated and sends confusing messages to her undeveloped brain. A central collection point where she can go to collect her share would definately be more just. Although I would modify it slightly. I would stop the uneccessary trick or treating and have the candy makers bulk ship their inventories directly to the processing center. From there Acorn workers could distribute the haul as they go house to house reminding people of their duty to vote for Obama. All Obama youth disciples would get an extra circus peanut if they could recite their own Obama creed. Homes with a square footage over 2500 would be required to donate, instead of recieve a Halloween subsidy. Plus, it would stop children from terrifying the elderly with those awful Sarah Palin masks that are selling like hotcakes.

Its a plan that needs development and some tweaking by Party Intellectuals. Perhaps instead of candy it should be trans fat free items, fruits and veggies, items that won't rot the teeth and clog government dental centers. Maybe some extra potato rations, and a shot of vodka for parents loyal to the cause. Or re-education vouchers for those hesitant to reform from past Halloween traditions. I'd be excited to hear about other holiday reforms.

Union Boss, I think you have a good idea but why not amplify it? Halloween should be a time of caring and compassion, for the third world. As we know, all of the troubles in the world are because of American Imperialism. The Roman Empire fell to the Vandals not because of economic problems but because of American Imperialism. Because Algore didn't win the 2000 election. I know, I know, that was 1500 years later but the music of the spheres indicates that American imperialism is the fault.

Why not train your daughter in True Socialism? Put her to work every day after school in a small kitchen garden, and have your wife teach her how to can. Can the vegetables--beets always a plus--and on Halloween night take them to a corner in the ghetto where there are drug dealers. Teacher your daughter to exit the vehicle and approach the drug dealers, listening to 50 cent, and have her grovel toward them and present them with the canned beets. Tell her that being addressed as "Honky ho" is a term of endearment.

Only in this way can you daughter learn the true pleasures of socialism.


The <i>Rocky Horror Picture Show</i>? 30 years ago in El Paso we used to get stoned and watch it. Tremendous fun. But then I've had an interesting life.

So explain to me how I pass "The Daddy Tax? " Yes, fruit snacks are taxed in this household! Candy is in another bracket....

Commissar Theocritus wrote: Why not train your daughter in True Socialism? Put her to work every day after school in a small kitchen garden, and have your wife teach her how to can. Can the vegetables--beets always a plus--and on Halloween night take them to a corner in the ghetto where there are drug dealers. Teacher your daughter to exit the vehicle and approach the drug dealers, listening to 50 cent, and have her grovel toward them and present them with the canned beets. Tell her that being addressed as "Honky ho" is a term of endearment.

Only in this way can you daughter learn the true pleasures of socialism.

The <i>Rocky Horror Picture Show</i>? 30 years ago in El Paso we used to get stoned and watch it. Tremendous fun. But then I've had an interesting life.

I take great pride in my efforts to ensure my daughter carries on in the Socialist traditions of her father, however there are so many capitalist trappings to sway her, and it is difficult for her to retain my imprinting efforts. I rejoice when she comes home from school and says things like:
1. The wealthy should be taxed more.
2. All wars engaged in by the US are unjust, and all weopns are bad.
3. Love and compassion will heal the wounds of the World.

Who says public education is crap. It's working in my town. But then I say. "My darling daughter, you bring tears of joy to my eyes. Let's take this further. We have much land. 12 acres. 6 filled with glorious old oaks. 6 acres are leased to a neighboring farmer and sown with glorious corn. Surely we are not entitled to all this. Surely the government should take what is good for the country, and leave us with only what THEY think we need, even if that means moving to a small, 1 bedroom apartment. Because compared to many poor in our county, we are considered wealthy. Shouldn't we sacrafice our propery for the good of the downtrodden?"
Much to my displeasure, she was vehemantly against this idea.
I then said "The guns in our home should be removed by the authorities. We live in a rural area, and although the police would never be able to help us if a intruder broke in and assaulted us, it would be unkind to protect ourselves with firearms, which may injure a burglar. And when our country is attacked, we should not defend ourselves because we have more then they do, and they have the right to kill us." She disagreed.
Then I said, "You earn the best grades possible at school. Some of your classmates do not fare as well. Perhaps you should allow them to have some of your grades, so you both have C's instead of an A for you and a D for them, even though you work hard, and they do not." She disagreed.
Then I said, "My darling daughter, we have decided that this year Christmas will be a time of giving, and instead of buying you a new laptop, IPOD or clothes which you do not need, we will give an equal amount of money to a Obama approved organization." She threw a fit.

I suggested that her mother and I makes too much money, and the state should confiscate even more of our income to assist those in need. We could make our own clothes. Stop purchasing Mp3's, turn off the internet, return our new 42" lcd, drive less and make her walk or ride a bike 5 miles to her friends home or to her after school activities. She doesn't see the wisdom in any of that. She still thinks we can take from the rich, and keep them happy and productive, as well as lift up the poor to a standard that will make them happy and unenvious. I struggle in getting her to wise up to the fact that there is only equality in misery, and that is the social justice that we need to strive for. Equality in misery.

It's frustrating. I can convince union members of damn near anything, but not my daughter. But I am not giving up. Today I will suggest she runs for school president, and allow her opponent to garner two votes for every ballot, while she only gets one.

Union Boss wrote:We have much land. 12 acres. 6 filled with glorious old oaks. 6 acres are leased to a neighboring farmer and sown with glorious corn. Surely we are not entitled to all this. Surely the government should take what is good for the country, and leave us with only what THEY think we need, even if that means moving to a small, 1 bedroom apartment. Because compared to many poor in our county, we are considered wealthy. Shouldn't we sacrafice our propery for the good of the downtrodden?"

Stop. You're killing me. I nearly spilled my Cristal. Union Boss, you've been here long enough to talk the talk but you don't have to walk the walk. George Meanie didn't stint himself on champagne, did he? Or Jimmy Hoffa?

Cheryl Crow says she showers with Laurie David and she uses one square of toilet paper. But did Laurie give up her Gultstream 5? I think not. She drives a Prius and screams at people in big vehicles but still she just can't do without that private jet.

And that's okay.

The reason that you can convince union members of damned near anything is that they've been self-selected for docility. Your daughter hasn't.

I have to prepare my daughter for the inevitable. Despite the entitlements afforded her as Daughter of Union Boss, eventually everyone gives everything to a true progressive State. Should she fall out of favor, she must be willing to accept and rejoice in giving up possesions, home, self protection, individuality and achievement in order to facilitate progression of the Party.

Uh, Union Boss, hear and believe. As long as you suck up enough here you have no worries.

Bad times? Snap your fingers. Little people pay taxes. Thank you, Leona.

From Newsbusters:

Obama Halloween Costume is Racist

As Iago the Parrot said in Disney's Aladdin, I think I'll have a heart attack and die from that surprise.

I'm so glad to know that something else about the Great Big Fucking O is racist. Let's follow the logic here. If you say or think anything about black person that is not slavish devotion, you're racist.

Does that apply to Wayne Williams, the black serial killer in Atlanta?

But it's no good at all if everything that everyone does is good so some people have to be bad. If everything about a black person is racist then does it follow that everything about a white person is bad and not to call it so is racist?

Let's see. Wayne Williams. Abraham Lincoln.

I'm so confused.

I'm not going Trick-or-Treating (too old) and I still get candy! I love how we spread the wealth around, even to lazy bums like me.

Comrade Elliott, if you follow the Peoples' Logic, the less you're worth the more that you get.

It's simple socialist arithmetic.

What about the tradition "poison check" of the candy? We have to make sure there's no razor blades in those apples!

I suggest that all of the candy be put through a screen process to determine if it's safe to eat or not. This process will of course take several months and will not be returned until mid to late winter. Of course, 50% of the candy must be taken by the government to satisfy their sweet tooth, because after all, they went through all the work to collect sort, and test it, so it's only fair.

The remainder of the candy, once found safe, will be re-distributed in increments of 1 piece of candy every week as to keep obesity levels down and ensure that the children are protected from tummy aches from eating too much.

It's all for the greater good.

Right, Betty, all for the greater good. But if our friends the dentists are short of business we could distribute more candy. If the dentists are progressives.

Yeah! The more worthless to the community I am, the more I get!

Preier Betty, it's a shame we don't get our candy till the razor blades and rat poisons are removed. This is an obvious ploy by the RethugliKKKans to eliminate us Progressives.

Of course, Elliott, of course. It's only fair that the worthless have the most. And we get to decide who gets what.

That's why everyone will just resort to buying 2x as much candy. Half will be given out to trick-or-treaters which will then be confiscated by the government and re distributed, but the other half of the candy that they buy they will most likely keep to themselves to thwart out plans.

I thus propose a 500% tax increase on candy companies, retailers who distribute the candy, and on the purchasing of the candy itself.

Betty, this would also be good for the government subsidies on sugar and on high-fructose corn syrup. Which as we are told is not bad for us. And in particular it's very very good for Archer Daniels Midland, the biggest industrial-strength welfare queen on the planet.

Except of course for the teachers' unions.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Betty, this would also be good for the government subsidies on sugar and on high-fructose corn syrup. Which as we are told is not bad for us. And in particular it's very very good for Archer Daniels Midland, the biggest industrial-strength welfare queen on the planet.

Except of course for the teachers' unions.

Good sircomrade! I've come to a startling realization! I think the Big Sugar and the Teacher's Unions are working together. Think of it, with the cheeldren loaded up on sugar, they are unable to learn of RethugliKKKan policies (I know RethugliKKKan ideas aren't taught in skool, just work with me) due to their shortened attention span. With the attention shortened, the teachers can fill their heads with Progressive ideas, which as we know takes no thinking ((off) Vote Democrat, it's easier than thinking (on)).

Comrade Elliott, this is an interesting idea and goes hand in hand with my suspicion that the members of the NEA have, in the teacher training days, been subjected to mind control to teach children the leftist catechism.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Comrade Elliott, this is an interesting idea and goes hand in hand with my suspicion that the members of the NEA have, in the teacher training days, been subjected to mind control to teach children the leftist catechism.

I thought mind-control hasn't been perfected/invented yet. Am I not inline with the Current Truth?

Of course it's been perfected. The fact that you don't realize it is proof.

I must inform you all that you are all guilty of thought crime! You must know what the ALL candy is bad, for it is made by EVIL capitalist candy companies. By even purchaing these candies you are contibuting to the Evil capitalist system. I demand that you all turn yourselves in for re-education to any near by NEA member!

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Of course it's been perfected. The fact that you don't realize it is proof.

This parodox is perfect! Ahhhh!

Forgive my harsh words. I sould have tried to win you all over with my good graces, and then turned you in my self. I may have been granted a seat on the NEA board, thus i may have had a hand in your re-education process.

"it may or may have not..." AmSoc73, are you the Mime? If so welcome to the collective as being the biggest douche bag among us. And that's an honor for we try <i>so</i> hard.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:"it may or may have not..." AmSoc73, are you the Mime? If so welcome to the collective as being the biggest douche bag among us. And that's an honor for we try <i>so</i> hard.

Beware the mine! His silence is deadly (SBD mentality)

Below is the transmission from Comrade Mikhail C., aka "Ward of the State." In his desire to spread Progress(TM) he rounded up the neighborhood children and had them laboring for several hours without compensation to create these signs which adorned his headquarters:

"The Official Obamaween Kandy Redistribution Center. Das Kinders with 250 pieces of candy, line up for redistribution."

The permitted quota of candy on the sign fluctuates in accordance with Lord Obama's Tax Plan.

But people who go as a witch looking like another candidate get to keep 10% more.

Truly a democrat. He "forgets" to say that he'll take half, keep 25% for administration, give 20% to companies which he has an interest in or which are owned by friends to give out the remaining 5%. Which will go to children who will be told that except for the Democrats they would have nothing.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:But people who go as a witch looking like another candidate get to keep 10% more.

(off)
Or is it going as Hillary looking like a witch (or just as Hillary)?

Six of one, half a dozen of the other. I'm really surprised that Our Many Titted Empress didn't make it; I was so looking forward to Air Force One by Hoover instead of by Boeing.

I know, I know, I know. But someone had to do it.

Comrade Commissar,

Thank you for such a gloriuos title! I must say I am no mime. Yes, I may be somewhat silent at times, but that is only because of my recent re-education.
I was in the past a member of the Evil Imperialists Army. After a long fight in the
grand liberal city of Cleveland, i was captured and sent away for re-education.
My lack of a good peoples eduction my explain why it was so difficult to break me , i lack the tools that you have been given in the school systems of the socialist state. So forgive me for being too over zealous in my new found loyalty to the party.

AmSoc 73, as long as you are reeducated, you are welcome here. The first thing to know is that you have no thoughts of your own. Thinking is dangerous. The party will tell you what to think. Today the sun shines at noon. Tomorrow, it if is convenient, the sun may shine at midnight.

<i>It is not your position to question</i>. You are supposed to obey, to be a foot soldier for the collective. How do you think we staffed all those lovely concentration camps? How do you think that we got ACORN? How do you think that we got all this unthinking obedience to a philosophy which will lead us to witch hunts and camps?

<b>Do not think. Obey! <a href=">

If it's good enough for Hollywood then it's good enough for us.

And if you labor in the potato fields long enough, you may be elevated to a Commissar where you will get to do whatever the fuck that you want to do. Now <i>that's</i> worth working for.

Comrade Commissar,

I see the danger of thought crime, i have come close to it once again. Thank you for saving me from my own thoughts. The one will do all the thinking for me. He will hold out his hand and all will be provided, provided I work only for the people. One could only hope to have such power as the Obamessiah and to bilk so many into voting for him, only for him to take away what they have earned, and give it to those who have not. It's only fair for all to have the same.

P.S. Since my reeducation, I have this unquenchalbe thirst for Kool-Aid? Any ideas why?

Your loyal comrade, AmSoc

It is only fair for all to have the same but who says this is fair? Fair is for chumps. This is the party, man. Get with it.

But I hear so much from the other workers that they do not have as much as the wealthy hard working buisness owners, that it is not fair that the do not pay higher taxes when they can give up so much more? They say that it is not fair, they should pay more! I think we should just take it all...

Of course we should take it all. That's what being a party member is all about. As Khruschev said, "When you skin someone you have to leave enough to grow back." First start off slowly, like with income tax nearly 100 years ago. Then add in other little taxes, always for a reason. "For the children." "For fairness." "For the environment."

As we all know, we don't give a shit about any of this and we really don't give a shit about the money. But we do want to have the money for the dollar is a fungible unit of power. Wealthy people can do what they want and will not as willingly go into the Progressive World of Next Tuesday, unless they're in on the con or they are so fat and happy that they're glad to let someone else do their feelings for them.

So by all means. Tell people how it's bad that they have to make their own decision and spend their own money. Tell them how they're being noble and self-sacrificing.

And in the kindest of all possible words tell them that this is how they submit and escape that horrible responsibility of actually existing.

I got this from Betty today via courier email.

Happy Late Halloween!

I wouldn't wish ACORN on a demon.

A.C.O.R.N. = Absolute Control Over a Racest Nation.

Chance of rioting in Detriot after the election?

100% If the Obomessiah loses.
85% If he wins?

100% if he wins. In Detroit a riot is a block party.

(off)
I just got a copy of the movie, "Hype, the Obama affect". I don't know how so many people have cast aside reason for madness? I mean, I don't think that this movie would turn all the people voting for Obama, but it has some very good points in it. I may have to view it a few more times. I think it will be pulled off my self in the future if he is our president, you know to say "Look, see I told you so. We all told you this is how he was, and you still let it happened. You still voted for him."
I hope through all the sarcastic humor, you can all see the point I'm making.
It is fun to vent on here with sarcastic remarks and fake stories. But to tell you the truth, I have real fear for what this man will do to this country if he is our president.

Are that many people as cluless as they seem? How did the people get so dull witted, to be bilked io thinking this is the best thing for us? Sorry if this brings so of you down. I just had some thoughts I had to get out.
(on)

So comrades,

don't forget after you vote for the Obomessiah, you must report back to the potato feilds for you 16 hour work shift. Bring a sharp shovel, and all of your bank statments, and the key to any safe deposit boxes to be turned over to the state. (keep your shovels, you'll need them.)

AmSoc 73, the very reason for the party is salvation in the world today. So that there will be nothing that the state cannot handle. And as for us, as the Big Commie Dogs?

We get to rule over people. They won't be happy and rich people because you can't rule over happy and rich people. So people must be poor and angry and set one against the other, and confounded with infinite small regulations and rules, which are all for freedom you see. The freedom of the consequences of your actions and the freedom from the responsibilities of an adult living in the real world.