Obama Visits Israel, Avoids Hamas Rockets

In an historic move to heal wounds between the U.S. and the Zionist Apartheid State, President Barack Obama has started the first international diplomatic tour of his second term with a stop in Israel.

In an equally historic move, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu reached out to Palestinian Authority President Mahmoud Abbas with a request to make peace with Hamas so that they could resume joint rocket attacks against Israel for one day.

"We understand the peace process has dragged on, but if the Palestinian Authority and Hamas could set aside their differences for this one day, and maybe work on their aim a bit, we'd really really appreciate it," said Netanyahu. "We promise not to retaliate."

Netanyahu seemingly tried his best to help Hamas with their historically abysmal aim by re-positioning Obama repeatedly during 'photo opportunities.'

Reports indicate that at least four Hamas rockets were fired on Obama's first day in Israel. None of the rockets came close to their target, which was unfortunate for the two West Bank families, who inadvertently got entirely wiped out. This gave Al-Jazeera an opportunity to blame the 23 deaths of Palestinian non-combatants on Israel.
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Obama continued on to the West Bank today to meet with Abbas, where he unexpectedly likened future Israeli-Palestinian problem-solving mechanisms in a two-state solution to those used between the U.S. and Canada - VIDEO.

Canada responded by firing several rockets at Casper, Wyoming. The homemade rockets fell short, killing several cows and destroying a barn and out-buildings belonging to the Johnson family just outside Bismarck, North Dakota.

"There can be no so-called friendly diplomatic solutions between the U.S. and Canada," said Canadian Prime Minister, Seal Harpooner. "Not as long as they give up their secret plan to push us into the sea and take all our bitumen! We have tried diplomacy and they turned down a free bridge into Michigan. Friendly solutions, my cheddar! And we want our Cup back."

No group had taken responsibility for the rocket attacks as of press time, but sources suggested they may have been the work of the University of Regina's Amateur Model Rocketeering Club.



 

Kanadistan wants us out of our settlements? Never! Never!
 

We will need diplunacy. With the sequestering all we have to shoot back with is a few outhouses.


 

In response to the model rocket attacks, President Obama retaliated with “Land for Peace” and ceded most of fly-over America and Alaska to Kanadistan, thereby eliminating the Republican blue states and achieving his one-state solution.

 

I have a copy of the University of Regina Insurgent Manual. It was quite instrumental in developing my ideological maturity.
 

Dymphna from the Gates of Vienna emailed us this report:

BHO wanted to see how the Iron Dome works so they removed it from the very poor
city of Sderot and brought it *to* him. So the devils started raining rockets
down on poor Sderot. It has been shelled so much, so often that EVERYONE
including the dogs, have PTSD. We have a friend there who sends us reports.

http://gatesofvienna.net/2013/03/this-one-i-dread/
 

Shameful Cropping by the White House:




First they tell us not to alter the Skeet Shooting Fauxtograph, now they crop this still shot so you can't see B. Hussein's right hand reaching through the curtain to grab Yassir's Arafatty. The tell-tale smile on the terrorist's face shows his explosive package is about to go off.
 

As the President prepared to board Air Force One for the next leg of his journey, he vowed eternal support for Israel and then donned a feathered boa and broke into a show-stopping song and dance number as he slinked his way down the line of gathered dignitaries:

I wanna be loved by Jews
By Jews, and nobody else but Jews
I wanna be loved by Jews
Sha-lo-o-om!
(And Bibi too!)
 

I do hope they did not fill Air Force one with diesel...
 

Tovarichi

I do hope they did not fill Air Force one with diesel...

Wait a minute, JP-8 is a type of diesel .
 

Tovarichi

I do hope they did not fill Air Force one with diesel...

Those jet engines burn JP8, which smells like diesel. It actually is diesel, only lighter.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/JP-8

Apparently The Beast IS a diesel and they put gasoline in it, which depending on HOW MUCH gasoline was mixed with the remaining diesel in the tank might not have been a problem at all. (I am a retired heavy equipment mechanic, so this I know).

But there may be some people who care more than I do about the Obamination being stranded and on foot in a foreign country that isn't deceived about his hairy wolf tail sticking out the back of his sheep suit.



 

Comrades, I have just noticed that Canadian Palestine (might I suggest "Canadestine?") actually looks a lot like a bigger Texas. In which case, it's good that Dear Comrade Leader Barackzebub ceded it to Canada, since we all know how troublesome those Texans can be.
 

There must be Rethuglicans everywhere.... I am beside outraged of myself....I am besiding.... I am outraged that dear leader is being targeted by Sarah Palin and pals.



 

Is this furry fellow (above) about to launch an arrow or take a dump?
 

R.O.C.K. in the USSA

Dear Comrade Leader Barackzebub ceded it to Canada, since we all know how troublesome those Texans can be. ROCK, this is most glorious news! The concept of the National Beer of Texas (Lone Star) finally brewed to Canadian strength brings me the HOPE that Dear Leader (PBUH) promised!
 

This is now in the Washington Times - http://communities.washingtontimes.com/ ... s-rockets/
 

We must sacrifice for peace.