The Obamessiah Resurrects COMINTERN

Now that the election is for all practical purposes over, the Obama campaign released its financial records to the proletarian masses detailing millions of dollars of international funds from the previously defunct COMINTERN. These are not illegal foreign campaign donations as the Neo-Cons insist, but merely the less-than-$200 donations from Americans Abroad for Obama.

“I have always considered myself American first, and Jihadi second,” said recent donor Salah al-Din al-Ayyubi. The plumber and recent Mediterranean-American for Obama plans to vote as soon as the organizer from ACORN returns the paperwork. “I have contributed the maximum 10,000 Syrian Pounds [199.85 USD] today,” he added, “And will send more as soon as I get the next check from my Soros Fund Management account.”

Salah al-Din outside his Damascus flat

Background checking is not required under the McCain–Feingold Act for the large volumes of small donors that the Obama campaign receives form overseas. To preserve the Democrat Party's high reputation for campaign honesty, the party plans to appoint former Fannie Mae exec, Jamie Garelick to oversee the legality of all the overseas donations. She stated “At last week's Congressional show trial, Bush's Attorney General, facing criticism, asserted that the single greatest structural cause for disenfranchised voters was the wall that segregated criminal investigators and donation bundlers.”

“The Obamessiah has brilliantly organized all of the quote Americans overseas under his banner of ‘Americans Abroad for Obama'”, said Obama Overseas Campaign Chairman Gregory Zinoviev. “By the end of the year”, Zinoviev continued, “Obama is going to rename the Overseas Campaign as The New COMINTERN, since there will be no more need to campaign for US elections. As far as the money, it is merely the return on Obama's investment in International Communism.”

Zinoviev greets new Americans Abroad for Obama

“We are looking forward to next year's COMINTERN changes, as soon as we can agree on what World Congress number to assign the body of delegates,” the ever hopeful Zinoviev acknowledged.

“And just as we keep our promise to the next generation here at home, so must we keep America's promise abroad…I will build new …I will restore our moral standing…hope…change.”— Barack Obama

Comrade Tiglath-Pileser! I missed your post in the submissions and moved it to the Blog only now. As someone who has been organizing communities for the last 6,000 years, it's time you started posting on Blog all by yourself. This is not the case when you have to wait for the Party to tell you what to think. The Party will tell you what to think when the Party deems it necessary.

Just don't forget to insert ~ after the first paragraph.

I'll take an extra shovel, too.