Occupy the USSA!

Motto:
"WANT IS WEALTH
POVERTY IS PROSPERITY
SQUALOR IS LUXURY"

Comrades! The Glorious World Of Next Tuesday™ is just around the next financial slide down our Glorious March To Progress. Soon there will be no more Evil KKKapitOlist wealth to redistribute, as our Glorious Occupussies Occupiers, trained by our most excellent indoctrination education system to hate all Evil producers and feed off the Public Trough, make it impossible to conduct Evil KKKapitOlist business wherever they reside.



0bamaville Cities are sprouting like fetid weeds leafy Go Green™ Earth Friendly marijuana plants everywhere in the USSA



Glorious housing units soon to be available nationwide in the USSA – providing a higher standard of living for our beloved proles

The Glorious Occupiers, whose numbers are swelling under the encouragement and leadership of The 0ne and The Party, are Young and Old Pioneers who are demonstrating in shining decrepitude for all of the USSA to see and learn how we have determined that the proles are to live - in Glorious squalor, with Evil KKKapitOlists raining riches down upon them to feed, clothe, nurture, and protect them, our prole children, as can only be effected in The Glorious World Of Next Tuesday™.

This, in combination with our Glorious Revenue Gathering, Redistribution, and Regulatory Progressive Policies Implementation, which discourage and drive out all Evil KKKapitOlist activity, capacity, and desire to produce their Evil goods and services as their costs necessarily skyrocket, will guarantee that very soon the Evil US of KKK will collapse entirely, and our Glorious USSA, also known as Ameritopia, will rise as a New Socialist Phoenix from its ashes to take its rightful place in the world, being no better, no wealthier, and on a Level Playing Field™ with our Socialist Brothers in the rest of the world. We will join the Glory of such paradises as Cuba, North Korea, and Venezuela as equals at last.

The Occupiers know what’s best for them, for we have trained them well – they know they need us to provide and allow all the good things of life that they can only receive in our World:
A beet in every hand
A shovel in every other hand
A tent for every 5.3 people
All the bright, shiny, noisy stuff, and i-Anythings they can steal righteously appropriate and redistribute from the Evil KKKapitOlists; and all the drugs, alcohol, and smelly, rotting rags and boxes they can redistribute among themselves
Freedom to pillage and burn all other Evil KKKapitOlist stuff
Freedom to block and harass Evil business, police, fire, and emergency crews
Freedom to nurture Gaia and local police with their own effluence
Free sex for all

It's the New Normal™. As go the Occupiers, so goes the nation.

Victory is ours! Hail 0bama, APBUH! Hail the decline of the Evil US of KKK! Hail The Revolution!
 

Yes, my Comrade brothers, sisters and other Party approved classes & sub cultures, we are evolving at an ever quickening pace into the perfect prog beings we knew we would become and towards our long envisioned parasitic paradisiac society - Ameritopia is at hand!... ............Next Tuesday.



 

Is a most glorious symbol, a Cambrian fish species sprouting legs on its journey toward humanity and a former Christian symbol co-opted by the reasoned elite. Commendable work Comrade Shovel 4 U.
 

It will be sad when all the brightly colored tents wear out and can no longer be replaced, since the Amerikkkan companies that produced had them made in China will be gone. And yet, the gloriously hand-made tents which will no doubt replace them will beautiful in their own right!

Dunno what they'll do without iStuff, but...

It's a glorious time to be alive in the USSA!!!
 

R.O.C.K., it is Korrektly beneficial that we have trained the proles’ memories to be short, and their thought processes (such as they are) to be minimally operational. As the brightly-colored tents and sleeping bags wear out, and as the iStuff breaks down and the Occupussies discover it cannot be recharged from rainbows and unicorn farts and that they cannot access social media without a communications infrastructure, said 'Pussies will still be there with their hands out, begging us for sustenance, promising their lives to us and our Cause, screaming to vote for us (if we choose to allow such a useless activity as voting) and wailing for more regulation against the Evil KKKapitOlists to prop up our cronies and demolish those who don't grease our palms level the playing field, happy for any scraps we magnanimously throw their way, forgetting their broken, useless tech toys and tents – Just as they have already forgotten indoor plumbing and the soft luxury of their parents’ basements.

On the day, Hope And Change™fully very soon, when the Glorious World Of Next Tuesday™ arrives, the entire USSA will look like this*:


Except for our dachas. The Ruling Class must have the best as we sh!t on the sheeple do The People’s Business™!

We Can't Wait™.

*Image of 0bamaville, HI courtesy of Bruce Asato - Thank you for the use of your photo!
 

ThePeoplesComrade

The attachment evolve.jpg is no longer available

Is a most glorious symbol, a Cambrian fish species sprouting legs on its journey toward humanity and a former Christian symbol co-opted by the reasoned elite.

The Peoples Scientists ™ have already outlined what our natural evolution into perfect prog beings may look like. Our brave Occupy pioneers seem to be ahead of the curve. Fascinating!



 

Shovel 4 U, I believe the Prog evolutionary development is a bit less macroscopic; more like the spider-barbs on his hands that Peter Parker could deploy to grab stuff and climb walls. It is no wonder we Progs can latch on to money and Evil KKKapitOlist wealth of all kinds so effectively.

But I like your imagery better. Plus, it is more in keeping with the Korrekt theories of our guv'Mint grant-grabbing Noble Nobel Prize-winning Prog pseudo-scientists.
 

Shovel 4 U

The Peoples Scientists ™ have already outlined what our natural evolution into perfect prog beings may look like. Our brave Occupy pioneers seem to be ahead of the curve. Fascinating!


"Be all the you can be" is so outdated.

"Grab all that you can get" is the current reality.

I know this can seem confusing. Are the Occupiers not protesting the grabbing rich? Okay, if we have to explain this, those people are not fit for Occutopia and will need elimination.
 

TPC, Occutopia is as you note for forward-thinking people with progressive ideas. And an allergy to work and hygiene. However please do know that we already have places for those who are unfit for Occutopia: Siberia.

What? You didn't think I'd let them in the Rancho, did you? I mean, I'm a Made Prog and I freaking bleed with compassion for others, but those people stink worse than the Cairenes rioting now. And with a good deal less reason.
 

 

TPC, indeed the fine Socialist Siberian Tigers will welcome the Occupussies Occupiers with open paws and open jaws. I believe that in spite of the enthusiastic welcome the Occupiers would receive, Siberia would not be occupied by our Dear Occupiers nearly so long as the USSA has been. Particularly the brilliant lad who chained his arm inside a concrete-filled drum.

Now THAT's a prole who's serious about having a sh!t-in. Here's a non-sequitur; he must be a Bitter Clinger™ churchgoer: Every day sitting in his own pew.

In fact, it is likely that soon after their arrival, the Occupiers would be "the sh!t" in Siberia.
 

We could of course call all people over the age of Medicare Socialist Tigers--after all, all we hear is ARPA's commercials on demanding that the greedy geezers eat their young.
 

Wise Father P., it is indeed a mark of the brilliance of The 0ne’s socialized medical care that Grandma will be given a pain pill and not a pacemaker, lest she endure for a sufficient time with sufficient strength to devour, like the Siberian tiger, the State’s resources and waste the productivity of her grandson who has many decades of vitality to dedicate in service to the god-State, as is his duty.

We Are For The People™ and so will provide the pain medication for Grandma, as long as it does not tax the State unnecessarily to do so. Dear 0’Leader’s death panels elder-care plan will be used Korrektly to weed out the dangerous older generation whom we deem no longer have an adequate reserve of time, strength, or acumen to serve the Kollektiv effectively. We will compassionately provide them with counsel to help them understand that their demise is to be hastened as we determine to be best for The Greater Good™, and For The Children™.
 

Redumdimski, I see that you have had this morning's dose of The Current Truth™. I had to have it twice; I sneezed and the first batch leaked out. I'm thinking that was the mess in my pants which made me have to change my drawers.

The purpose of a prole is to SERVE. Any prole who is not making money for us or serving us in some way, any prole who is not subservient to our caprice, must be neutralized.

In 50 years, the country will be run by graduates of the Ivy League who Know The Best Things, and everyone else will either be breeding stock, a drone, or on the recycling list.

No woman with narrow hips can survive; she needs to be a brood mare. No small man who cannot shift heavy packages or pull a plow can survive. And the first thing we'll do, following in Uncle Joe's steps, is to kill the competent, because they might revolt against us.

H. L. Mencken laughed at the idea that no man is a hero to his valet: "His valet is a fourth-rate man." So we shall insure that there are no first-rate people, except the Made Progs, to revolt. After all, this will not interfere with their porkability--one of the prog's most cherished rights and I use the word "right" in its modern sense.

But selective breeding for The Common Good™ and Jiffy-Lobo™ will insure that we have the Thousand Year Reich right here in the good old USSA.
 

Father Prog Theocritus

The purpose of a prole is to SERVE. Any prole who is not making money for us or serving us in some way, any prole who is not subservient to our caprice, must be neutralized.
Which is why the old, who have typically accumulated some wisdom and knowledge during their time on this Earth and can provide valuable insight to their young descendants who think they know it all but often merely serve as herd-animals and are too inexperienced to know better are valueless to the State.

And so the State is justified in ridding itself of these burdensome oldsters, so they do not take up the productive capacity of the young or teach the young that human beings work hardest and most willingly when they have opportunity to advance from their labors for themselves and their loved ones.

Thanksgiving to the god-State!


Thank God for the USA, and pray we can bring her back.
 

There is much to what you say. We need to have Pre-Pre-K. A child is taken at birth from the mother, and raised in a creche. Every day there will be catechism of the Current Truth. No history of the country, no history of the bravery, of the uniqueness brought to the world, of the generosity, of the freedom. But infinite history of the bad things, and if we didn't do them, then make them up! Why not? If it's good enough for Dan Rather, it's good enough for me.

Then the People's Creche babies will be fit to Occupy.
 

Father Theo, while the People's Creche in its current State doesn't officially begin until around five years old with Kindergarten (a Gaia-neutral garten, as we insist), we have something almost as good. So many of our enlightened proles steep their children in our ideology, even though it is often unconscious, every time they turn on the telly. And of course, the enlightened prole parents mull over and meditate on what they have been indoctrinated educated in with each other and their children. So even though the parental units may not be on the State's payroll (although I would argue that welfare is often just that), the children still have the benefit of the State's Current Truth™ from their youngest days.

Surely that is precisely why our Glorious Occupy Armies are so plentiful and successful today - they have been raised from birth to be Korrekt servants of the State. Oh flower of brain-dead uninquisitive youth! Doing our bidding without question, without knowledge of purpose or thought for consequences of actions, because they know that by Occupying, they are, Kollektively, The Sh!ts.
 

I truly wonder about this generation of Bolsheviks we have raised.

I present to you Occu(pi) Bot; the first in a promising line of tireless, unstoppable, robotic class warriors developed by our current useful idiots on the front lines of their measly weasly "socialist" revolution.




You can view his terrifying rampage here:

http://vimeo.com/32289921


pffffffffffffffffffffffffft........ real scary isn't it.

Once again - we need to show them the way with some hard communism.
I have sent these Peoples Scientist plans to Mr. Softee himself - Randy Sarafan.








Maybe we can get something useful on the front lines soon.






 

I have wondered about the health effects of the Occupy armies. Aren't they used to spending their time in a communist professor's class? Or in their mother's basement blogging for the DKos?

Do you think that they have the immunities required for a modern prog? After all, why an STD clinic? For the rape?

Mao's doctor wrote a book stating that Mao thought that if he bedded a thousand virgins, he'd be immortal. Alas and alack, he is not although there is evidence that Barry O's TelePrompTers are channeling Mao.

Also Mao wouldn't wash his privates, thinking it cut down on his potency.

Progs don't wash! is a valid battle cry, not only for Mao but also for Occupy. And boy do they believe it.
 

Maybe Comrade Moore's new inspirational film of hope can inspire these Occupussies to start splitting some guts.



 

Give that man some food!
 

Or as might be said on BLR, "Give that woodchuck a tunamelt!"



Okay, granted, the woodchuck is much more handsome than Mickey. And more mannerly. And likely smarter.
 

And better company.
 

Yes Theo, you have the "honor" of being acquainted with our useful idiot Mickey... Wasn't he at the Rancho when Bonnie Fwank was there? Seems they were talking a movie deal... Or some unsavory thing...
 

Actually Bonnie Fwank was suckling at Michael Moore's boobs. They both seemed to get off on it. But once Bonnie stuck his head under one of Michael's boobs--thinking it was something else? And it took Bruno and me two hours to pull it out.
 

And when it came out, it was covered...

You thought that toe-jam was bad. Try Michael Moore Boob Jam.
 

Theo, I'm just thankful I wasn't at that end of the Rancho to see it.

But I heard it. That was bad enough. I thought the MTE had gotten into it with a raging bull dyke.

But the visual doesn't bear contemplation. A triple-Porta-J-Lo™ and thorough scrubbing with XXX-Brain Bleach wouldn't have been enough to erase that image. I'd be speaking like an Occupussy for the remainder of my benighted life.

Only a Made Prog of your caliber could witness it and live.
 

Oh, Redumdimski, it was awful, I tell you. But I could bear it in light of past experiences.

(Did you know that a truly good progressive submissive can be beaten over and over every day for years and still come back? He takes a licking and keeps on ticking. Either a licking as in abuse or in being licked, as we Progs do to the poor little blacks, whom we enslave by the soft racism of low expectations.)

But I have seen strange things. There was the time that our Many Titted Empress was here with Janet Reno, Janet Incompetano, Barbara Mikulski, and Molly Yard, and they decided, after a few Bloody Marys (Putinka Vodka, the blood of rich, white, Republican virgin girls and a dash of Angostura bitters) to unpack the Supercharged, Hildo Hydra. You know, the thing with the many heads. And the Hildo?

Ah, what I saw that night. It was like one of those programs on the founding of the universe, but this was eschatological rather than autochthonous. Here, some of the finest titans of the prog universe, all hooked up to the Hildo Hydra, powered by the three-phase generator in the trailer beside the Rancho.

The pearls of wisdom that I heard that night! "Uhhh! Oh!!!"

But the best was when I heard someone say, "Deeper! Harder! Faster! Now!" and then I realized it was Bouncing Baby Barry Bama talking about his tax plans.

Or was it what he wants to do to AmeriKKKa?

What matter? This is a horrible country which deserves Lord O, the two Janets, Senator Babs, and Molly Yard.
 

Theo....

Your previous post above leads me to conclude that " The Rancho " has had more dikes than the Zuider Zee.
 

Father Theo, you can pack more pithy meaty subject matter in a few short paragraphs that lesser scribes would take pages to attempt to convey with much less equality of insight. Mmm-mmm Good! Even in abbreviated form, you serve a Prog Banquet Deluxe!

Krasno, the Good Father provides a safe haven for all our flowers who define the epitome of the New Socialist Womyn and he is Gaia-aware: there is no dam for his dykes.
 

Redumdimski, there is no dam in the Prog World for anyone. We are all the same--regardless of anything else. We exist because we are Progs. The fact that we are Progs means that we exist and indeed that the world exists, because if not for us, what?

There are people in this world who say that we really are not that much. And I hate them. I HATE THEM. It is axiomatic that our moral narcissism be paramount in the judging of everything.

Sensio ergo sum. I feel therefore I am. And I feel GOOD feelings. I have Good Intentions™ even as I accuse people who don't agree with me of having bad ones.

See how that goes? My internal weather of Good Intentions™ trumps reality.

And that's the Prog Way.
 

Krasnodar, the Rancho does not have dikes, I'll have you know. Bruno is a better housekeeper than that. I mean, with all fridges with pony kegs on the inside [I am NOT kidding] and where would I put the arc welder?
 

[ off ]I'm not kidding. I have known pods of dykes in Texas and every single one of them had access to an arc welder. I knew one red-headed one who worked the graveyard shift in a chemical plant and who took courses at the community college in car mechanics. And believe it or not, she was not the one with the steel-toed drillers' boots. That was Nancy W.
 

Father Prog Theocritus

Sensio ergo sum. I feel therefore I am. And I feel GOOD feelings. I have Good Intentions™ even as I accuse people who don't agree with me of having bad ones.

See how that goes? My internal weather of Good Intentions™ trumps reality.

And that's the Prog Way.
Theo, who could forget our theme song? "Feelings, whoa, whoa, whoa, feelings"? Far superior to any Bach symphony. And the rationale we employ when we change the Current Truth™, or spouses, "The thrill is gone..." For as we know, POWER is our thrill, and "if it feels good, do it", baby!
 

Commissar Redumdimski ....

Bach never wrote a symphony. Not once....never.....it hadn't even been invented yet.

So.... who are you, really ? ( as the KGB guard steps closer towards you, raising the barrel of his AK slightly )

Are you from a parallel world in the multiverse, where Bach composed symphonies ?

Or simply a subversive Tea Party operative who was sent here to disrupt the Cube collective with gross disinformation of a musical nature ?

Now think carefully, tovarich.

If you answer " Yes, I am a fifth columnist ", then I hope you enjoy your stay at one of our many gulag "rehabilitation work camps" this winter. But if you tell us " No, I am loyal party member ", then you might be very well be guilty of trying to cover up your crimes.

So you'll still wind up in the same gul ....... ah ........work camp.

Take your pick.
Now please allow our guard here and of course myself to escort you to Platform Five down at the train station.
 

Redumdimski, I am SHOCKED at the charges leveled at you by Krasnodar. I mean, just shocked. And I want to make it up to you.

Let me invite you to the Rancho de Rio Grande. It's lovely this time of year.

By the way, everyone wants to come and so don't tell anyone where you're going, and make sure that you use cash to pay for the last two tanks of gas. Don't want an electronic trail.

Oh, and bring your checkbook and all your credit cards.
 

Krasnodar, I know that Bach didn't write symphonies but then he did write concerti and sonatas and passacaglias and lots of preludes and fugues.

And who better to listen to than a German?

In America during WWI symphonies refused to play German music. Of course that meant a lot more French music was played, but after about five minutes the conductor always throws his baton on the ground and surrenders.

But listen to a Wise Old Prog. Hold your friends close but your enemies closer. And I'm arranging for Redumdimski to visit the Rancho. I have arranged for a simultaneous visit from Comrade Nanski, who has just taken yodeling lessons, and she will perform for him.

If that doesn't do it, nothing will.
 

Krasnodar

Bach never wrote a symphony. Not once....never.....it hadn't even been invented yet.

So.... who are you, really ? ( as the KGB guard steps closer towards you, raising the barrel of his AK slightly )...

you'll still wind up in the same gul ....... ah ........work camp.

Now please allow our guard here and of course myself to escort you to Platform Five down at the train station.
Krasno, I have smoked you out! You’re too knowledgeable to be a TRUE Prog. But you failed to recognize the sym-ple phony-ness I employed.

I see to your credit, however, that you have succumbed to wanting for others what you know you yourself deserve, a transference of sorts, which is an activity we Progs indulge in continually. So there is hope for you, tovarich!

And don’t think you’re getting off the hook to bring the Stoli from Dear 0’Leader’s stash to Friday’s People’s Party, which I have moved to your dacha. Don’t thank me, just accept it graciously. (I understand Red Rooster will be providing the entertainment in the form of a dance revue on your furniture. The Blue Man Group will provide the music using your ordinary household items – computer, TV, refrigerator, etc.)
 

Father Prog Theocritus

I'm arranging for Redumdimski to visit the Rancho. I have arranged for a simultaneous visit from Comrade Nanski, who has just taken yodeling lessons, and she will perform for him.

If that doesn't do it, nothing will.
Father Theo, I am looking forward to time at the Rancho. Nanski and I have arranged a symphony in your honor. Bonnie Fwank and Mickey Moore will be among the chorus members. (Dingy Harry Reid insists on conducting, but we'll rectify that before the "gala".) The combination of our dulcet tones will ensure that after the performance you’ll be less than half the man you are today.

Krasno’s coming too – he’ll need a place to crash after the Party trashes his pad.
 

Redumdimski and Krasnodar, in your honor I have built a new wing to the Rancho. Do not be worried that it has bars on the windows; this is to keep out predators from the outside.

Yes, that's it. It's to keep out intruders. Unfortunately I haven't figured out how to open the bars from the inside. But since you will be in the tender hospitality of genial Father Prog and Bruno, that will be no problem.

Did I mention that we have the strongest safe this side of Fort Knox? I'm quite sure that pieces of paper with your Vanguard account numbers and passwords would be much safer at the Rancho than wherever it is that you live.

Trust me on this. Remember the Prog President who said Trust Me? Jimmy Carter. He who inspired the Nano Jimmy Carter Rabbits which run around a house hissing, "Nuclar! Nuclar!"

So what is better than for me to follow the president who is only slightly less reviled by the evil RethugliKKKans than dear O'Leader.
 

Dear Theo, perhaps you are acquainted with my lifelong tovarich, General Konspiriskiy. He has been appointed Commander of the new 0bamaCorps (Korrektly pronounced "Corpse") Units. Here is an image of one of their happy members, displaying Party-approved messaging:

Ushanka tip to Pava Patrioticheskaya

The good General has put a battalion of these fine enforcers at my disposal for the trip to the Rancho, and has informed me they are very well equipped for any contingency. They are renowned for their ability to Party. We are very much looking forward to Occupying our stay at the Rancho. The new wing you have installed will be useful.
 

I'm quite sure you'll like the new wing. I have had special air conditioning installed, and just for you.

BTW, do you know if anthrax spores can make it through a HEPA filter?
 

Ah Theo, so glad you could make it to Krasno’s People’s Party! I see you have some of his Special Reserve Stoli. Na zdarovye! (Smiles ironically. Clinks glasses, both drink.) Did you know that I prepared that specially for you, right here in Krasno's kitchen? Da, that’s what makes it Special, and it is Reserved for you. (Theo’s brow furrows in concern.) Have another sip! Nyet? No matter. I see you are enjoying the effects that make it "special". (Theo is beginning to sweat; he starts to shake involuntarily.) Here. Let me take your glass before you drop it – (Takes glass, dumping remnants down sink.) Oh, how clumsy of me – I dumped your drink. Well, I see you’re not thirsty now anyway. (Said while rinsing glass and placing in convenient carry pouch on person.) Theo, your knees are buckling… Here – let’s make our exit; I’ll get you back to the Rancho. (Lifts Theo in a fireman’s carry and goes out of kitchen into main Party.)

Hey Krasno – I know the Party is trashing your pad, but have you ever seen Red Rooster dance so well? Oops – there goes your hutch – good thing RR has those bird-like reflexes or he might’ve been hurt by the splintering wood when it crashed. What? I can’t hear you over the BMG – you say they’ve destroyed your TV, your computer and server, your HVAC system, and now they’re drumming on your refrigerator? Da – they’re tearing the doors off to use as drumsticks on the walls – but it sounds so good! Look at the happy Partiers! Best Party of the century so far, tovarich. Anyway, you see Theo here – he imbibed a bit too much of the "good stuff", then he swooned and wilted to the floor. Don’t worry; I’ll get him back to the Rancho. He told me earlier that he has a special ventilation system in his new wing and I figure I can use it to revive him. A – few – 0bamaCorps troops are outside to escort you to the Rancho. Bring your best suit; you know we’ve got a symphony in Theo’s honor tomorrow night. Keep Bruno entertained – just remember, the Corpsmen will come in to Party with you if you don’t go out to meet them. Thanks for the Stoli! (Walks out door still carrying Theo as Red Rooster’s dancing disintegrates a bookcase.)
 

Father Prog Theo:Regarding Comrade Michael Moore, and I know this for a fact, he is NOT affiliated with Save the Whales!
 

Theo… Theo… Hey, Theo. Wake up! (Lightly slapping Theo on the cheek.) There you are! Good morning, Sunshine! You were beginning to worry us. (Theo sees Red and Krasno standing over him.) Still a little woozy? Just lay back. You shouldn’t try to get up just yet. You’re at the Rancho, in your new wing. Krasno and I will take good care of you.

Ivan! (An 0bamaCorpsman enters.) Bring some water and черный хлеб for our dear Theo. (Ivan salutes and exits.)

What’s that, Krasno? Yes, of course Bruno’s blubbering like a baby. He does that all the time. Don’t fret; he’s being – taken care of. Yes, good care. Now, let’s proceed to the HVAC room controls. There’s a cylinder attached to the outlet duct to this room that deserves our attention. Let’s have a little fun with it. Say again? Biohazard label? Oh, probably just an example of good Theo’s artistic license.

Ah, very good, Ivan. Just set them on the table there. (Red, Krasno, and Ivan walk to the door.) Ivan, Mikhail, ensure this door is sealed and secure. And don’t worry if Theo starts pleading with you to let him out. You see, sometimes he gets excitable. Krasno and I will fetch him when the time comes.

Pamalinsky, what a pleasure to see you! Did you bring your evening gown for the symphony tonight in honor of the good Father? (Door closes; Theo is left alone in room.)
 

(Red storms into Theo’s room in full NBC gear.) Father Prog Theocritus, I am shocked. (Tosses cylinder at Theo.) What is that? That’s right, it’s a canister of anthrax… Aaahhg, you’ve soiled yourself.

Do you realize the sort of trouble you’d be in if the EPA found out about this? Don’t you know they’d slap you in irons – in spite of the fact you’re a Made Prog. They’d condemn the Rancho, and confiscate everything in the perimeter. What are you trying to do, spoil tonight’s symphony? Tonight’s symphony – need I remind you that it’s being conducted in your honor?

What’s that? Oh, hold on – Don’t fret; I had a private team decontaminate it and check it out. Can’t risk trusting the Guv’mint with that sort of thing, can we?

Pull yourself together man. Dispose of that thing properly, clean yourself up, then get dressed for the performance. Nanski and I will each lead with an aria, but you need to be presentable when I introduce you to your guests. (Turns on heel and walks out of room, leaving door open.)
 

He's not kidding about Nancy, Theo....... I heard her practicing her concert yodeling this morning out back by the Rancho's dumpster. Soon afterwards, she yodeled again, but this time she did it inside the dumpster.

Personally, I think Nancy's just a little off her game.... just after sunset last night , she was looking up in the sky at a 757 flying overhead towards California..... then she started screaming and crying,yelling " That should be me up there !" .... over and over again.
 

Progs and Progettes, most equally esteemed Party guests, it is with great pride and humility that I am honored to present to you our intimate Solstice Symphony $ellebration in honor of our host, Father Prog Theocritus. We have assembled here tonight some of the most equally highly esteemed Progressive luminaries who Will Not Rest™ until the Progressive World Of Next Tuesday™ is made a reality and the Evil US of KKK is justly redistributed and brought down to parity with the remainder of The World We Made, where all but We will live in cardboard boxes, scratching in the ground for beets, where we control the hearts, minds, and lives of every prole everywhere, where all the Little People™ bow down in adulation and adoration to us, as is our right, and their duty, as the USSA is fully implemented.

MTE, Mr. Ayers, Mr. Soros, Dimocrat and Repubican’t members of Congress, take your places in the front row.

Now Progs and Progettes, join me in a warm People’s Welcome for our host, the man to whom we all owe so much, our own Father Prog Theocritus as he is escorted to the place of “honor” by Dear 0’Leader’s own 0bamaCorps Guards! (All rise; wild cheering and applause as Theo is marched in, seated, and secured in position.)
 

Krasnodar, I would not worry about Nanski. When she wants to cry, she presses a bulb in her pocket and the installed plastic tear glands weep for her. You cannot believe how hard it was to find a formula which would not weaken the sutures and the Botox injections, though.

Also you and Redumdimski are really behind the curve. Yes, I know, I know, there was a party but do you think that I am subject to just any drug? Like the classical king, I used homeopathic doses to insulate me from the effects. Why, I can gargle with a solution of strychnine; as you know, it amplifies the sensations so much that a slamming door can cause a heart attack.

I personally love a good dose of strychnine; it gives me the most marvelous frissons, second only to taking as much OPM as possible and telling people what to do. But you know, if you've gone a full day without some major theft or bullying, what will you do to keep your edge? I recommend strychnine.

You think that because I was seemingly passed out that I was insensate. No. Nor was Bruno's blubbering all natural. I swear, Bruno may not be much but I told him that if he could blubber he might have a chance to go through your jewelry boxes and silverware. And you know what? He did.

Have you done an inventory.

I myself am more intellectual. I had taken the precaution of installing key-logging software on your computer.

Have you checked your accounts?

A most excellent evening.
 

Redumdimski, I am having to wipe the rheum from my eyes. To have this old Prog honored so!

And I really don't know what I did out of the extraordinary. I lied, I made things up, I bore false witness, I stole, I connived, I lied--did I say that? I looked down my nose at people and refused to believe that I could be smaller than the USSA. I was entitled by my very birth.

And what prog doesn't do that?

I am so humbled. I do thank you.
 

Redumdimski and Krasnodar!


What a glorious evening! I am so honored to have been invited. But, please forgive me for being late! I had a little mishap with Bruno in the ladies room. That is, er, I was changing into my evening gown and the price tag kinda got stuck in the zipper when Bruno was "helping" me zip it up! I begged him to tuck it in the bodice somehow so I could return it tomorrow! Undamaged! Something I always do. After all, who's gonna know. I told him I'd kill him if he ripped it. The tag that is. I mean it's a $125,000 gown from Nieman's fercripessakes!


As it happened, I just wore the darn thing with the tag stuck right in the zipper for all to see! (I'll get outta this thing somehow). I did get numerous compliments on the dress though, but for some reason those were always like, "Gorgeous gown, absolutely stunning! So nice to meet you, Minnie!" Huh? Hmmm. My pearls are missing too…….. Bruno!!!
 

Father Prog Theocritus

Redumdimski, I am having to wipe the rheum from my eyes. To have this old Prog honored so!

And I really don't know what I did out of the extraordinary. I lied, I made things up, I bore false witness, I stole, I connived, I lied--did I say that? I looked down my nose at people and refused to believe that I could be smaller than the USSA. I was entitled by my very birth.

And what prog doesn't do that?

I am so humbled. I do thank you.
Theo, Theo, the symphony has concluded. It has been a splendid evening. What you have added to the Kollektiv is inestimable, as you well know. Now is not the time for humility. You have taught many a fledgling Prog what true Proggery is. A few examples readily come to mind - How to: Dissemble without conscience. Steal while believing it a birthright. Collapse an economy. Sow seeds that grow into the foul fruit leading to the destruction of a society from within. But - you’re still here; everyone else is gone…

That the assembly held through Nanski’s screeching yodeling shows fortitude that only we Progs are capable of. I guess Bonnie and Mickey’s duet was just too much, though, even for most Made Progs of lesser stuff – they cleared the hall. Perhaps out of respect for Bonnie’s announcement of his “wetiwehment”. Or perhaps it was his (?) burlesque with Mickey. And when Bruno jumped up on stage, trailing sequins and fake jewels…

Here – let me look at you. What are those? Surely your eyes are not rheumy. You may try to deny it, but I recognize tears of joy. Well Theo, I must commend you. You stayed when everyone else ran screaming. Even Krasno, my own trusted tovarich… Only you, Theo, only you remain here with me, now that everyone else has retired to the salon for cigars and brandy. Your gratitude is its own reward. Come with me to join the others in the salon.
 

Pamalinsky

What a glorious evening! I am so honored to have been invited. But, please forgive me for being late! I had a little mishap with Bruno in the ladies room. That is, er, I was changing into my evening gown and the price tag kinda got stuck in the zipper when Bruno was "helping" me zip it up! I begged him to tuck it in the bodice somehow so I could return it tomorrow! Undamaged! Something I always do. After all, who's gonna know. I told him I'd kill him if he ripped it. The tag that is. I mean it's a $125,000 gown from Nieman's fercripessakes!

...My pearls are missing too…….. Bruno!!!
Pamalinsky, you were not late, you were fashionable. Very! But a word of friendly advice: Beware the eyes of Bruno. And the hands. He was overheard saying how delightfully not only your pearls, but also your gown, would go with his collection.

As for the gown, should you be able to keep it from Bruno's clutches: I recommend seeking Father Theo. He will explain to you how to keep it in your possession while making the Evil KKKapitalist Nieman's feel like they owe it to you.
 

CRed, Me....run from those " musical performances " by Nancy and Bawny at the Rancho ?

You Betcha' !!!

I thought it best to go outside and get some fresh air...... I didn't want to throw up on Theo's already - stained carpet .
 

Redumdimski and Krasnodar!

I loved your touching tribute to our beloved Father Prog Theocritus. I second that emotion! To the millionth power!

And thank you for being so kind about my lateness.

Regarding your warning about Bruno…..

I don't know if Father Prog is aware of this BUT, I noticed some very "interesting" things about Bruno.

First of all, after finally finding my way out of that Nieman's gown without messing up the tag, I noticed some scratches on my back. Everyone knows that Bruno loves to sport long, spiky, painted fingernails, but they never touched me because his hands were "elsewhere." Where? I dunno. But they weren't anywhere near ME!

We were in such a rush I didn't notice, until we were leaving, that Bruno was sporting these! Yes! Ghettoes! This explains everything! He used his TOES to adjust my tag! Damn! I been had!




 

Krasnodar

CRed, Me....run from those " musical performances " by Nancy and Bawny at the Rancho ?

You Betcha' !!!

I thought it best to go outside and get some fresh air...... I didn't want to throw up on Theo's already - stained carpet .
Krasno, a wise precaution. Wouldn't do to further soil the carpet and disgrace our host more than we already have.
 

Pamalinsky

We were in such a rush I didn't notice, until we were leaving, that Bruno was sporting these! Yes! Ghettoes! This explains everything! He used his TOES to adjust my tag! Damn! I been had!
Great and accurate imagery, Pamalinsky!

Lovely lass, Bruno has honed his skills and his nails to become increasingly handy with every appendage over many years.
 

I know Redumdimski, I know. i am so ashamed for being so stupid. Thank you!
 

Pamy, while it is true that we Progs are adept at the art of self-loathing, I fail to perceive any need for it here. You have not been denounced, not by anyone at THIS Party. In our brief conversations I detect a presence of mind not normally found in Progdom. At worst you may be a candidate for a
. But only if you are having doubts about the firm foundation of your Prog Mindset, and fear some cracking around the edges. So rest easy in The Party's warm embrace. Relax and know we will keep each other steeped in the Current Truth™. Enjoy the ride as we speed to The Progressive World Of Next Tuesday™.
 

Redumdimski, I thank you for your kind words. Yes, they were tears of joy. Tears from knowing that the theory and practice, and indeed art, of self-serving, arrogant, solipsistic, morally narcissistic viciousness are in good hands.

All you comrades. Have you ever wondered why I keep that Queen of Shallowness, Bruno, around? Well, it's impossible to get rid of him. I shipped him off to Meow once, and he returned. Same with Pupovich. Red threatened me, and I didn't even think of trying it with Pinkie. And Those are only my dearest, friends, yes, friends, that's right, here in the Kollective.

It's because of something that I read before I climbed Mount Olympus to the empyrean heights of aforesaid self-righteous proggery and I blush to say that it came from The Fountainhead. Gail Wynand showed his staff a man and told him that they were to write for him in The Banner.

"We can't remember what he looks like!"

"That's right."

So it is with Bruno. He's vain, stupid, self-absorbed, childish, petulant, vengeful, entitled, dishonest, self-centered, oh hell, just plain full-blown solipsistic, and so I have, on hand at all times, the perfect paradigm for the sort of person who will be the new Soldier for the Progressive World of Next Tuesday™.

Stalin--at first I wrote Satan and I'm off to Jiffy-Lobo™ in a trice--forfend that I should have to think instead of plot, and so in Bruno I have proggery distilled.

Bruno. Bruno! BRUNO! Stop with all the noise! I know that you're the greatest stage star since Patty Lupone, Liza, Barbra, and Ethel Merman, even if you can't sing and no one wants to watch you I completely grant you the right to be who you want to be without the worry of having to earn it or having talent.

We are progs, after all.
 

Father Prog Theocritus

I completely grant you the right to be who you want to be without the worry of having to earn it or having talent.

We are progs, after all.
Comrade Theocritus,
By your definition above, the perfect prog would undoubtedly be Paris Hilton.
 

Good observation, Krasno. We know Paris was never blessed with a thought of her own in that airy little head of hers. If you check, you'll find Paris was an "understudy" of Bruno - by her behest when she found him some years ago in one of her Daddy's hotel lobbies. That's why her "personality", such as it is, mirrors Bruno's so closely. Paris saw a kindred spirit and is essentially a female Made Clone of Bruno.

Bruno and Paris are true BFFs.
 

Father Prog Theocritus

Have you ever wondered why I keep that Queen of Shallowness, Bruno, around? Well, it's impossible to get rid of him... Red threatened me...
Theo, threatening behavior is a time-honored tradition but we must be clear on the usefulness of threats so our up-and-coming Proggers don't become overly dependent on them, as our weak political class has.

Threats are only useful for amusement, to foster anguish in the victim-recipient. You know how I enjoy employing thinly veiled, non-verbal threats as well as the spoken, pedestrianly obvious variety. However threats only work to change behavior when the recipient is a spineless blob of mindless jelly, steeped in Political Correctness, easily cowed. I would never accuse you of such unworthy character or lack of mental fortitude, good Theo.

I find deliberate, vindictive, vicious action to be much more effective - and satisfying.
 

Commissar Redumdimski

I find deliberate, vindictive, vicious action to be much more effective - and satisfying.

My sentiments exactly........ let me know if you would like to enlist my services.

Krasnodar, Vagabond of the Outer Parts and Delivery Specialist of High-Velocity Ordinance.

________________________________________________________________________


Remember, comrades, the words of Chairman Mao :

" Political power grows out of the barrel of a gun." This is a certain way to produce change.
But nowadays, the path to REAL CHANGE comes by way of a ballistic arc.



 

Krasnodar

Commissar Redumdimski

I find deliberate, vindictive, vicious action to be much more effective - and satisfying.

My sentiments exactly........ let me know if you would like to enlist my services.

Remember, comrades, the words of Chairman Mao :

" Political power grows out of the barrel of a gun." This is a certain way to produce change.
But nowadays, the path to REAL CHANGE comes by way of a ballistic arc.
Krasno, your services are ever needed and always welcome. Let's just not have that Bruno ballistic launch Theo was discussing a short while back. That is, not yet.

Theo, Krasno, Pamy – take a moment to look at the splendor of the sunset over our USSA. The clouds and mountains paint the scene just for us.

A poignant note on which to end a productive weekend in the World We Make. A weekend that has beefed up the troops' morale for the coming week.

Theo, you’ve got Paris and Bruno holed up together, trading gossipy secrets, keeping each other Occupied? Good. It’d be a shame to spoil the serenity of this scene.
 

Yeah Red... I like sunsets as well.... Los Angeles has some nice ones.

They're especially interesting when a Chinese JL-2 missile is launched 35 miles off the coast from a submarine and is climbing in an arc out over the Pacific..... towards China's Pacific missile test range.






Barack Obama has assured us through statements by the military under his command that whatever it is should be considered as harmless..... even though they state they don't know what or whose it is.

And I believe Him.... after all, His is the most transparent administration in this country's history...... as honest and forthright as the day is long.

He told us so.
 

All I can think of when I gaze at that beautiful sunset is:


g'nite Rumdi,


g'nite Theo,


g'nite Krasno,


g'nite Gulag,


g'nite Shovel,


g'nite TPC,


oh yes, and………….


g'nite Bruno.


Thanks for a lovely weekend!
(may we enjoy many many more)
 

Krasnodar

Yeah Red... I like sunsets as well.... Los Angeles has some nice ones.

They're especially interesting when a Chinese JL-2 missile is launched 35 miles off the coast from a submarine and is climbing in an arc out over the Pacific..... towards China's Pacific missile test range.

Barack Obama has assured us through statements by the military under his command that whatever it is should be considered as harmless..... even though they state they don't know what or whose it is.

And I believe Him.... after all, His is the most transparent administration in this country's history...... as honest and forthright as the day is long.

He told us so.
Krasno, indeed that is a beautiful sunset over the Pacific viewed from LA; of particular beauty is the missile's vapor trail. You will recognize with greater clarity just how beautiful when you are informed of the rest of the story.

General Konspiriskiy has confirmed that the following has been cleared for release to our Kollektiv: The US of KKK military will be undergoing a transformation based on that of NASA, starting with the Navy. The dismantling of the US of KKK space program has been so successful that Dear 0'Leader recognizes how beneficial to the planned USSA budget it will be to draw down our old, outmoded imperialist military over the next thirteen months, and redistribute the resulting budgetary windfall (in addition to soon-to-be-implemented revenue increases) to new social and ecological programs worldwide, while funneling a small portion (less than five percent) of the former military budget to our allies for USSA defense. In a brilliant move to shore up love and peace for the USSA with the remainder of the world, the PRC has been awarded the contract to provide the USSA with what is deemed adequate maritime defensive capacity.

The missile launch you mentioned was one of the first conducted by the PRC to showcase their new role in our country's protection.
 

Pamalinsky

All I can think of when I gaze at that beautiful sunset is:

g'nite Rumdi,
g'nite Theo,
g'nite Krasno,
g'nite Gulag,
g'nite Shovel,
g'nite TPC,
oh yes, and………….
g'nite Bruno.

Thanks for a lovely weekend!
(may we enjoy many many more)
Sweet dreams to you and your shovel, Pamy.
(Amen to the last!)
 

I had truly hoped that no one would spot that Bruno is the model for Paris Hilton. Now if no one can find out that Bruno is the model for J-Lo, except he doesn't have that ginormous ass. He does have that ginormous ego and lack of talent.

I am glad that the Kollective has toppled to the idea of dismantling the USSA's space program. After all, putting a man on the moon was an achievement which not everyone can do, and more to the point, it's not something that a prog can do.

So we must hate it.

Proggery hates quantifiable achievement. But loves attitudinal achievement.

A prog does not look up, only down.
 

Father Prog Theocritus

A prog does not look up, only down.
As a Prog I cannot conceive why anyone would want to look up.

Looking up can cause one to be blinded by the light. Looking down we are only aware of the safety of the shadows. And looking down our noses makes it so much more effectual when sniffing at the Little People.
 

[quote="Father Prog Theocritus"] He does have that ginormous ego and lack of talent.

Father Prog T : About Bruno.... instead of hurling him skyward as a disgusting sort of payload, have you considered putting him on a Greyhound bus and shipping him to Hollywood ?
Your inciteful words , which I quoted above, seem to make him ideal for blending in with those in the film and/ or music industry.

I can just see him now...... wearing Pamalinski's pearls..........
learring out and drooling on himself, from behind the "Y" of the " HOLLYWOOD" sign.

Just imagine........He just may get his own reality show ! A thousand miles away ! " Bruno " I can see it now...........
 

Ah yes. Bruno in his own reality show. "Every Day Is a New World," starring Bruno Dipshyte. Or perhaps we could use his Indian name: Bruno Screaming Queen. Well, it was Screaming Eagle until he opened his mouth.

Perhaps though he could move to the Montrose part of Houston and do a reality show there. All the shopping for cosmetics, pumps, frocks, feather boas and so forth.

Of course the only way that I'd want him to do the show would be if I could profit off it; if I can't, then the Greyhound Bus needs to go into the Gulf of Mexico, with ten thousands pounds of concrete "ballast," just to make sure that he doesn't get sea sick.
 

This neck bit about the looking can be hard, you know; I was once asked by Dear Oleader to help him with his neck problem. That was simple. I merely got a Frenchman to help him look down his nose. They have centuries' practice and it's in their DNA.

Here though is the gold standard:
I think the uniform came out rather nicely, don't you?
 

Father Prog Theocritus

...Bruno is the model for J-Lo, except he doesn't have that ginormous ass. He does have that ginormous ego and lack of talent.
I always suspected that Bruno had some input in the design of the Porta-J-Lo™, too.
 

Father Prog Theocritus

This neck bit about the looking can be hard, you know; I was once asked by Dear Oleader to help him with his neck problem. That was simple. I merely got a Frenchman to help him look down his nose. They have centuries' practice and it's in their DNA.

I think the uniform came out rather nicely, don't you?
Theo, Dear 0’Leader could have been born a Frenchman, the attitude of arrogant condescension comes so naturally to Him. And the uniform so suits Him – He was made for it, and it for Him. I believe you have developed the principal 2012 re-election poster, which captures all that B. Hussein is or will be. The prototype from which all others will descend, in reverse evolution. ("Are we not men? We are Devo!") It is impossible to improve upon perfection.

Now all we need is a slogan. Perhaps something along the lines of "Hope and Change 2012 - Dictating the Future For Four More!" Or "Leading from Behind for 2012!" (Just don't tell Bruno.)
 

You know Theo, when I gaze upon that stunning picture of Obama, my eyes start twitching and I see spots in my vision where nothing exists! Little white blurry blank spots! It only lasts for about 15 minutes but, nonetheless, that is what I "see".

Maybe a Jifi-Lobo™ "tune-up" (as Obama puts it) is what I need.

I never saw this until he was elected.

Hell, maybe I'm just getting old. (An even bigger bummer, and not for the faint of heart)
 

Barack Hussein Obama

Help me be all I can be, and lie down so I can put my foot on your neck.
Let us remember that Lord Zip is noted for his lack of experience in doing anything, er, honest. That's why my eyes well with tears when I think of him.

Community organizing is a soft-and-squishy term for voter fraud. And what is better than that? We are not far from the progs' maxim: One man, one vote, one time.

We really must insure that Dear 0bozo leads us again, because although there is a great deal in a nation to ruin, ours isn't ruined yet and the best bet is Barack, aided by Joe Biteme and Nanski. And of course Harry Reid, whose voice could chase a vampire from a coffin.
 

What happened to "vote early and vote often" ??? It got us Dear Leader (PBUH)
 

Let's never forget the joys of Landslide Lyndon--LBJ. The returns for Duval County didn't come in until people knew how many votes he'd need, and then they came in in alphabetical order.