Official Party Communique': Wikipedia Must Not Fall!!

To All Party Members

It has come to our attention that Wikipedia’s use (thus donated funding) has dramatically fallen because of a long standing series of allegations regarding its use as a political platform as well as not holding its editors to strict factual postings. Who let the cat out of the bag? How could this have happened?

Wikipedia is likely our single most valuable Newspeak tool next to the MSM itself! Wikipedia had the largest number of readers of any encyclopedia in the world. We cannot let our direct access into almost every written or verbalized discussion especially amoungst the younger generation be taken from us.

Inner Party Members have known for a long time about Wikipedia’s carefully designed pretensions to being encyclopedic; its painfully obvious false claims of openness; its completely fabricated representation of a democratic access to, and democratic enunciation of, knowledge; its completely institutionalized falsification of facts; our sordid attempts to monopolize knowledge and rewrite history by blanking out parts of our collective memory and replacing them with imprimaturs. Yes, those are all the delightful (not to mention useful) aspects of the cyberbureaucratic fraud that Wikipedia is committing wholesale upon knowledge. The fraud that consists of producing false knowledge on an “encyclopedic” scale to a completely unsuspecting and complacent populace that is too lazy to verify facts for themselves.

Do you see why it is of the utmost importance to keep Wikipedia going? If nothing else keep it going for the indoctrination of children.The irony of course is that people are actually paying us to get dumber. Now if we could only get the government to fully fund us.

(P.S. The money ain't half bad. I have no kids but I love each dollar I make on Wikipedia like they were my own child so I really do do it for the children!!)
 

It IS all about the children, dear comrade! As Brunhilda... Comrade Hillary once said. "it takes the collective fascist village, to raise a child!" I personally love editing Wiki and annoying those pesky conservatives, who now foolishly believe know, that conservatives are the original communist.

I will give my daily gruel, to keep our comrades at Wiki going!


 

[OFF]

Honestly I love wiki. I've found their entries to be totally accurate (provided you aren't looking for info on conservative politicians). But for chemicals, historical figures like Trotsky or military hardware, you just can't beat it.

I think they need to turn off the ability to edit certain names like Bush, Palin, Cheney, etc. And certain scientific areas like climatology. Any key word that doesn't serve the Left is generally pretty safe.
 

where did this intel come from? wikipedia failure? this must be a smear attempt from the capitalists to disrupt our momentum. we all know wikipedia is funded by a barney frank dummy financial company through a backdoor account (no pun intended). wikipedia is the most accurate, up-to-date, liberal supply of collected knowledge in history and is a standing example of how as a people, each good citizen can contribute to the collectives knowledge, making it more better.

i personally use wikipedia exclusively to prep for every covert operation i undertake, as to not be swayed by capitalist propaganda.

i will launch an investigation into this rumor of wikipedia's reduced funding and report back to the collective at a later date.

operation code name: collective incompetence
reporting agent: blackmarket citizen
 

"Collective Thought for the Masses. Keep Wiki rolling!"


 

Comrades, once again it is demonstrated that the proles will not willingly support that which is good for them. NPR, Air America, The NY Times, ObamaCare, PBS, et al... these are the things that the country needs to be heatlhy and strong and ward off the virus of capitalism but our political children - the workers, the bitter clingers, the great unwashed - whine and refuse to consume them willingly. So we must shove them down their throats. Our political ideals and institutions are to the body politic what brussels sprouts are to the diet they stink and everybody pretends they like them but when no one is looking, they feed them to the dog.

So goes Wikipedia. I guess we'll have to fund it under Stimulus II.
 

Opiate of the People

I guess we'll have to fund it under Stimulus II.

Comrade Opiate, you speak glorious words of wisdom and then use the banned s- word. I would really hate to see someone denounce you for this little slip of the tongue. It seems not everyone on the Great Made Prog list received the memo:

Democrat Rep. Brad Sherman admits announces that his leadership has told him not, not, not to use the s-word when referring to the next Obama Jobs Bill For Cronies Package.
None dare call it Stimulus II.