Comrades, I am pleased to announce yet another weapon in the battle for The World of Next Tuesday. I confess, I was inspired by our Progressive allies in the Peoples Republic of China. But since I was the first to coin the name, I really have no problem claiming all the credit as first among equals.

While the concept has been used in the past, no one has gone the full Stalin and introduced it as a creation by and for the Party. PeopleSynch™ is a tool in which the most equal in one akill or attribute, is paired with another comrade most equal in a related skill or attribute. No doubt. many of you comrades saw PeopleSycnch™ in it's full glory this past week while Ode to the Motherland was sang during the opening Olympic Ceremony. It was also used in it's digital cousin during the fireworks.

Imagine the possibilities comrades! While a less photogenic comrade such as I, is busy using one of my better skills, shaking down contributions from the wealthy senior citizens and infirm, we can present a more photogenic comrade such as say, Premier Betty (who also has the benefit of being currently AWOL and thus unable to refute any complaints). You see that handsome Commissar Theocritus defending himself with his mastery of language, while the Chairman freely engages in Lenin only knows what.

This has real potential comrades! PeopleSynch™ can be used to explain a host of seemingly unseemly actions. You see me appear to speak a ThoughtCrime™, don't believe it! It is my PeopleSynch™ for Comrade Betinov.

Likewise, if I am seen fleeing the Rupert Murdoch-controlled reporters of the National Enquirer after being caught in a hotel room with my mistress and our child, why it wasn't me...was it, Pup?

I see you have grasped PeopleSynch™'s potential Comrade Betinov. Sure, we will always have denial, but in PeopleSynch™, we know that you were just shown in this situation because you were considered as a more pleasing or believable image, while some other comrade was responsible. This will also aid in our efforts for Full Employment.

Imagine this, say you were to see me having sex with this Governor Kain's border collie that we keep hearing about, Now to see 2 dogs having relations would not raise an eyebrow, but since it was actually the Chairman satisfying his rightful needs, we essentially kill 2 proles with one bullet.

Comrade Betinov. I can see you benefiting from PeopleSynch™ in even more equal ways than others. For instance, let's say I or another brilliant comrade comes up with a brilliant idea, my image or another comrade may not be the most conducive to such an announcement. However, with your massive brain in the jar being shown as the originator, then I am free to express any brilliant idea. On the other hand, what if said idea turns out not to be so good or ThoughtCrime™, it will still be your image associated in every ones mind.

This idea has naturally led to yet another exposition of a basic concept....

SocSynch - The process and tool used by the Party to ensure that society is in synch with the Party. SocSynch™ is brought about entirely voluntarily (one way or another)

"The HolyGoran command drilling is harem."
"Offshore is sacred breeding ground of endangered sea moonbat."

The Burqa is Liberation

Comrade Pelosivich looks sexy azz hell in dat burqa!!!

--
ZB

Yes, but the important thing has yet to be revealed.... who is the comrade doing the PeopleSynch™ for Nancy?

Zampolit, she surely does look sexy as hell. About to change my luck. It's the spike heels I think; I know, I know, I live with a closet of spike heels but size 14? Some of Bruno's spike heels had to be engineered by Morton Thiokol and you know what they did for the Shuttle, don't you?

Brain in a Jar, I see a great potential for you and Pupovich in a pas de deux. I know that each of you, in true progressive fashion, intends to mooch off the other share socialist ideas but have you thought of being a tag team, stealing sharing for the common good ideas of intelligent hard-working evil capitalist pigs?

Brain in a Jar, I see a great potential for you and Pupovich in a pas de deux.

The Marshal and I have collaborated on a variety of projects, but we have never sat down to a meal together. I have thus never had the opportunity to ask him to pass the ducks.

Perhaps if we practice dilligently over the next four years, we can secure a place on the Synchronized Propaganda Team for the 2012 Olympics.

Be sure to practice your skiing--they meet at Jackson Hole. And you don't want to get piste off.

Yes, Comrade Brain in the Jar and I have, and no doubt will continue to collaborate on a variety of missions, thefts ... collections, and scams... projects for our ... the CommonGood™.

Pas de deux does describe this collaboration well, even in the way I first imagined it.... pass de dough.

As further evidence how life imitates the Cube, and how we are on the Foreskin of Technology™.... Brain Controls Robot.

Brain controls robot? This must be a proof of concept for our eventual Progressive World of Next Tuesday.

Not both,Theo? What the.....?

We learn how one brain can control a robot. Then we give the robots voting power, as was done in Duvall County, Texas, for LBJ. And was tried to do in Florida in 2000. Daley must be turning like a lathe in hell.

Once we master that little trick then we will merely hold an election which we can run as we please without the bother of ads or promises or even threats.

100 GOTO POLL
110 PRINT "VOTE NANCY"
120 END

Merging the concept of PeopleSynch™ with robots controlled by a few brain cells will truly be revolutionary! We must work on these robots appearance so that they can pass for a voter/candidate/sex aide.

Marshal Pupovich wrote: ... We must work on these robots appearance so that they can pass for a voter/candidate/sex aide.

/speaker of the house/obamessiah/al gore.

--

Oh Dear Lenin.....is that a direct comparison you make there Zampolit? Speaker of the House is indeed a voter, Obamessiah is a candidate, so are you also trying to compare Al Gore as a sex aide?

Nothing of the such, comrade. Merely appending the statement. That should be obvious to you. For the Obamessiah there is no comparison.

Are you committing a Thought Crime™ Comrade Pup? Or worse .... heresy???

--
ZB

Zampolit, I personally have never been truly satisfied that Pupovich's promotion was not a brevet one, despite his much-vaunted services to the party. After all, I detect in him a rising star which means that his back needs to present itself to me as often as possible.

And so, yeah, heresy. That'll do.

Comrades, do you really wish to pursue the charge that I, by investigating every possible attack on the Party, am guilty of committing ThoughtCrime™? This would be an interesting approach indeed, not that it is not worthy of consideration. Now Commissar Theocritus, this is most distressing indeed, that you of all Commissars, would prefer to have me"present my back to you?" I am going to assume that you mean that in the most positive of ways, that you wish me to turn my back to any indiscretions that you may commit.

Pupovich, by definition I do not commit any indiscretions, even if I photoshop the head of the Obamessiah onto a latex appendage it is not an indiscretion.

SHOW TRIAL!!! I SMELL A SHOW TRIAL COMING!!!

WOO HOO!!!

Zampolit, you are <i>so</i> right. And I happen to be scalping tickets for the box seats way down front. Interested?

And I happen to be scalping tickets for the box seats way down front. Interested?

And how many hours of "volunteer public service" are required?

In yours and my dreams! If you will recall, it was not that long ago that I courageously called for my own trial to wake the collective up. Not only did the Chairman go awol on the very day Hillary had scheduled the trial, it was all I could do to just present my crimes and work a plea deal. But why I ask do you two so wish for me who have been tried more than any other here, be tried again? When there are so many more worthy contenders?

Pupovich, is there anyone more natural to dog-pile on? But you should consider it an honor: from each according to his ability, to each according to his need. You are a brave and fearless marshal capable of much abuse.

And anyway, you're a progressive and so you ought to know you're hanging around with the biggest shits on earth.

You speak with much truth Commissar.... which of course means you best watch your back. It is true, when you are accustomed to taking on the enemies of the Party such as I, it does make one all the more equal as a target. So I will take this in the spirit I know you intended, and so am honored to be nominated for a trial.

Ah, Pupovich, I see that you're beginning to get it. And in this day of celebrity culture, you can sell the movie rights. You don't even have to go into rehab to do it. See what a favor I do for such a loyal party member?

There is one thing about being a Marshal, it would make for a more sensational Show Trial would it not? But it seems too soon to denounce myself to be tried as I did before. I don't want to become tiresome you know?

Come to think of it, I can't say I recall you ever being on trial? Have you any idea how purifying and stimulating it is to be tried by a jury of your equals? Just say the word and perhaps we can set you up for a session. Of course, that is assuming that you really are innocent or have the right cash for bribes to be welcomed back into the fold.

Pupovich, I personally have been begged to go on trial, by Bruno who wants to play the grieving widow. He has a fantasy of himself in a slinky black dress with a split skirt, and in a black veil, which would catch on his five o'clock shadow.

I don't think that the party could take it. Do you?

Oh, do not worry about that Commissar. The Party is made of sterner stuff. We are the Party of Lenin, the Party of Stalin. the Party of Kennedy, the Party of Clinton. Our hands have been cleansed in the purifying blood of both the guilty and the innocent, so we can handle Bruno. Shoot, we can make it a double header so to speak.

We could make a movie. <i>La Cage aux Faux</i>.

Commissar! I have an even more wonderful idea just in time for the Convention! Imagine this: A Blessing Pool for Hillary! People go into the pool to seek the blessing of the Hillary and leave a small contribution, Most of course will be blessed with their life, but then the impure, well, another fate awaits them!

Marshal Pupovich wrote:Commissar! I have an even more wonderful idea just in time for the Convention! Imagine this: A Blessing Pool for Hillary! People go into the pool to seek the blessing of the Hillary and leave a small contribution, Most of course will be blessed with their life, but then the impure, well, another fate awaits them!

". . . leave a small blessing."
Why not tax everything out of them sircomrade? The less they give, the more they get back, but the more money they have, the more is taken from them, so eventually, we all get the same amount of money!

Comrade Elliott, I understand the math and there has been an interesting discussion on PeoplesMath on another thread, but for real Progress, they ought have nothing except vaporous sentiment.

I used the term "small contribution" for Hillary.... Now we all know a small contribution for Hillary more equal than others,

Commisar Theocritus, I suppose this is true, this is why I still am a lowly prole

Marshal Pupovich, same as above.