Party to Press: Stay Mum on John Edwards' Love Child

Warning!

To all members of the press and party members.

Do not publish any articles or information about the out of wedlock love-child of John Edwards.

Notice, there are no stories on this worldwide, and we should keep it that way. He is a Democrat, so this is his private and personal life.



Do not write about how he has been cheating on his cancer-stricken wife and choosing to spend time with a sleazy woman instead of supporting his wife and being there for his children.

Ignore the fact that just a few months ago, he was a Presidential candidate and even as of last week, he was a contender for Vice President. Instead, look for a REPUBLICAN who has done something wrong - even a minor Republican and blow it up way out of proportion.

Brief For Party Insiders ONLY:

On July 22 there was a confrontation in a Los Angeles hotel between National Enquirer reporters and former Sen. John Edwards. Edwards had, the Enquirer reported, come to the Beverly Hilton to see a woman named Rielle Hunter, with whom he has had an affair and a baby. In an almost surreal scene described on the Enquirer’s website, Edwards was said to have fled to a men’s room, pushing against a door while the reporters pushed and asked questions from the other side.

By now, it’s well known that the big news outlets — the New York Times, Washington Post, Wall Street Journal, Los Angeles Times, as well as the broadcast and cable networks — have largely ignored the story. Some observers have speculated that those outlets would report the news if the Enquirer published the pictures. And now, sure enough, Perel has published a picture — just one, a fuzzy image the Enquirer calls a “spy photo,” of a man who appears to be Edwards holding a baby. The paper says it was taken inside the Beverly Hilton room in which Edwards met with Hunter. Since this picture has emerged, the Main-Stream Media is now demanding a high resolution image before they will run the story.

A couple of months earlier, when the Enquirer published a thinly-sourced story claiming that Edwards was “caught in a shocking mistress scandal that could wreck his campaign,” Edwards quite emphatically denied it. “The story is false,” he said then. “It’s completely untrue, ridiculous. Anyone who knows me knows that I have been in love with the same woman for 30-plus years.”

Party members are instructed to run stories on Larry Craig - a Republican nobody without Presidential/Vice-Presidential aspirations instead.

DO NOT RUN ANY STORIES ABOUT JOHN EDWARDS AND HIS CHEATING ON HIS CANCER-STRICKEN WIFE! DO NOT PUBLISH THIS PICTURE:



The only acceptable picture for party members to publish is this one:



Mention how he helps his wife in her battle with breast cancer by not touching her. If challenged, he impregnated Ms. Hunter to spare his wife the pain of breastfeeding a newborn baby.

Do not look out the window.
 

He was Father Of The Year just last year when he was pounding this babymama.
The left-wing media said so.
See:



"It is true, your children learn not only from what you say, but from what you do," John Edwards said. "Whenever they do anything that you're proud of in your life, you'll be able to look back on the things that you taught them both through your words and through your deeds."
 

Of course, Evil Smiley. Consider the target. John Edwards was running for president with his terminally sick wife helping him instead of spending her last time with her children, but that's okay because he is a progressive redistributionist, except out of his pocket.

And George Bush named his dog Spot and was attacked for it.

Sounds fair to me.
 

Comrade Edwards has been vilified and smeared by RethugliKKKan hacks, who want to discredit anyone who is Progressive and Enlightened.

We must rally around our Comrade and make sure his privacy is maintained. No more photos of him and his mistress must be taken and No recordings of his meetings with his babymamma must be made...unless they're approved by the Party. If that be the case, Comrade Edwards will make a small donation to the local Planned Parenthood office to educate the proles about the dangers of wanton breeding, without the approval of the Party.
 

Was Comrade Edwards mistress approved by the central committee?
If so, then I wish to file a formal complaint as my request for good solid blonde peasant mistress has been denied again and again by Mrs. Trotsky with the backing of local Kommisar.
 

Dear Comrade Trotsky,

So glad to hear that you have recovered from the hammer in your head. Welcome back from the dead. You wouldn't recognize Mexico City now.
 

 

Thank you, Guest; I'm going to have fun with that.
 

This story has now officially broke. The Silky Pony is admitting to everything but denying that he is the father of 'that bastard'.

My Chick:



NOT MY BASTARD!
 

Am I the only one to see the truth? Clearly Edwards was in that bathroom to expose rethughlican Craig in yet another stall affair.
 

Isn't the face on that bimbo rather, er, masculine?
 

A good match for Ms John, the wimpiest democrat next to Kucinich.
 

Let him serve a writ, though, and he's a kung-fu fighter.
 

 

He wanted to become father of our country too. Why didn't we see this spermatorrheic man?