Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano says that the T-word is too inflammatory and represents the old-fashioned "politics of fear." She has announced a new term:
man-caused disaster." From an interview to Der Spiegel:

SPIEGEL: Madame Secretary, in your first testimony to the US Congress as Homeland Security Secretary you never mentioned the word "terrorism." Does Islamist terrorism suddenly no longer pose a threat to your country?

NAPOLITANO: Of course it does. I presume there is always a threat from terrorism. In my speech, although I did not use the word "terrorism," I referred to "man-caused" disasters. That is perhaps only a nuance, but it demonstrates that we want to move away from the politics of fear toward a policy of being prepared for all risks that can occur.

What if the suicide bomber is a female? Man-caused disaster is sexist. Perhaps she should use the more compassionate term "gender-neutral disaster."

What are some more offensive words and phrases that we can replace with Obama-speak?

The homeless should now be known as free-range change redistribution specialists. Felons should be known as institutionally trained redistribution specialists. Drug related border violence is now regionally exuberant redistribution activity. In fact the use of the word "border" is to be discouraged as is the term "undocumented immigrant". While we have yet to redefine "border" we find that foreign volunteer is acceptable in place of "undocumented immigrant". Street gangs are now youth activity organizers.

Comrade Red Jim,
If I had enough skin and were into tattoos, your post would fill my scrawny chest.

I am shocked at Comradette Napolitano's uninclusive remarks. As Comrade ObamaMarx2008 has noted, females have been stuck back into the kitchens to tend to the kids, reinforcing the stereotype that terrorism is only "men's work."

Though I have yet to hear of such things, surely animals bearing explosives or pathogens would qualify as terrorists. Not only is this demeaning to men, who deserve to be demeaned, it is highly discriminatory from a species-inclusive point of view.

Somebody, quick, call the ACLU! This is an outrage!

I have a tingle going down my leg... Oh wait. That's something else going down my leg.

But surely it is just as warm and therefore rewarding as everything The One proffers, is it not?

Since evil capitalists control the weather through climate change, which is always catastrophic, all weather related disasters are also man made. Maybe we could call them RethugliKKKan-caused disasters. That would distinguish them from those caused by lovable jihadists.

Weird how the Schmiegel dude could say, "Islamist terrorism" and Neojanetreno knew what was meant. Shouldn't she have been like, "Islam, t-? W-What are you talking about? Religion of peace."

</karakter>

Ok...this is the point where we've moved from offense to defense. We're screwed.

<karakter>

Secretary Napolitano is a wise and enlightened comradette for not wishing to offend freedom-loving Islamists who just wish to open our eyes to the love of Allah and his Prophet.

Comrade Leftfield,

Alhamdu lilahi!

Hmm. . . new Obamaspeak words. . .

• IED(Improvised Explosive Device) > MMED(Man Made Explosive Device)

• Sexism > Genderism

• George W. Bush > Former President (a.k.a. Enemy of the State)

• Taxes > Patriotism

• Doublespeak >Speak

• The Economy > IPN (Inverse Poll Numbers) (i.e. bad economy=good poll numbers)Iraq >The Wrong Place (No, I'm not BSing this one, said like this, "We are at war with terrorists in (Iraq) The Wrong Place.")
  
• Obama > Father
  
• Hillary > MTE (While we call Hillary that here, the public will call her that so they "suckle" on the "tit" of Welfare.)
  
• Gay/Gay Rights > People's Rights (why stop at Gay Right's when you can extend it to all people?)
  
• ACLU > LUC (Liberties Under Communism, a little self-contradiction if you ask me.)
  
• Rush Limbaugh > Emmanuel Goldberg II
  
• Welfare > Paycheck
  
• Public Education > Education (No private anymore)

Commissar_Elliott wrote:Hmm. . . new Obamaspeak words. . .

• Gay/Gay Rights > People's Rights (why stop at Gay Right's when you can extend it to all people?)

Comrade Commissar Elliott,

First, allow me to congratulate on your selflessness in enhancing the rich repertoire that is today's PeopleSpeak™. However, let me pontificate on the above quoted point: Should it be not "people" but "species"? In this day and age, all Gaia's creatures must be provided socially just shares of pork (members ofo the porcine community, please forgive my use of this gauche colloquial but sadly all-too-common term).

Brilliant idea Comrade! However, I think you ment all of Gaia's creatures receive an equal share of wheat, you know, so as to not offend our vegitarian brothers and sisters.

Comrade Commissar Elliott,

I flagellate my already shriveled ego before your blinding light of Truth! Clearly we need to rename "pork" to remove the stigma it bears in the minds of many GOP-brain-washed AmeriKKKans and replace it with a new and improved term that will not offend vegans. I propose "manure."

Brilliant!