PeopleSpeak™: Viable Alternative To F-Words


![]() | It has come to the Party's attention that that some of us still use F-words on the People's Cube forums and in private lives - including even high-ranking Party members, as our surveillance tapes indicate. This calls for an emergency intervention. Sensitivity Training #1: PeopleSpeak™ vs F-Words PROBLEM: |
Studies have also determined that persistent use of F-words degrades our bodily functions and takes pleasure out of sexual activity and, as such, out of human experience in general. A shift towards a more progressive narrative is long overdue.
SOLUTION:
PeopleSpeak™ is a new culture-altering tool developed at Karl Marx Treatment Center. It capitalizes on the success story of The People's Cube puzzle, in which not only the color red adequately replaces all other colors, but the P-word in its name also adequately replaces the old F-word, an epithet used by victims of the less progressive and unsolvable cube models.
EXAMPLES:
Kommissar Vodkov
Comrade Navigator. Are you fucking insane!If Kommissar Vodkov were to use PeopleSpeak™ and if he had been aware that the F-word stands for Party-approved pleasure and success, he could rephrase it by saying something like "What a pleasurably, deliciously insane comrade you are!"
Red Square
If the progressives continue to modify people's patterns of thought and behavior to foster America's defeat in the war on terrorism, they better have a double-crossing and cleanup plan in the works for later, when the victorious Islamist allies start modifying progressive patterns of thought and behavior by cutting our f#@%^ heads off!Although it was intended to underscore the urgency of setting up the Double-Crossing and Cleanup Committee in the Democratic Congress, Comrade Red Square could've been more effective had he used the P-word instead: "cutting our PEOPLE'S heads off!"
PROJECTION INTO THE PEOPLE'S FUTURE:
Below is a sample of an enlightened family conversation appropriate for the Progressive World of Next Tuesday™, in which all the F-words have been replaced by P-words:
People's Engineer of Human Souls at Karl Marx Treatment Center
Parental unit #1: Why don't you get your people's ass off the couch and go to the people's welfare office to get some people's foodstamps so that when our people's children return from the people's school they can eat some people's food!Parental unit #2: Why don't you shut your people's mouth, you people's bastard!
Children: Hi Parental unit #1, hi Parental unit #2! Is there any people's food in this people's house?
Parental unit #1: You people's kids give me a people's headache! Get out and play in the people's traffic!
Parental unit #2: There ain't no people's food because your people's Parental unit #1 used all the money on people's drugs, and since he's been supporting our people's family by liberating and selling people's cars, he is now going to the people's jail and from now on we're going to live in the people's street!
Parental unit #1: You are out of your people's mind if you think I'll have a people's job at a people's Wal-Mart and pay people's taxes!
Children: Our people's Parental units are pleasuring us again. Let's go out and steal some people's food like we always do.
Parental units #1 & #2 together: We are the People! We do it for the Children! It's all for the People's Children!
CONCLUSION:
A little injection of PeopleSpeak™ can turn any ordinary people's conversation into a civil, politically correct exchange of equally valid ideas.
RECOMMENDATION:
Introduce a mandatory gradual transition to PeopleSpeak™ through public awareness campaigns combined with strict revolutionary enforcement.



This is a great idea! We should promote this on all progressive TV channels and Media.
Although I think peopletard will take a while to catch on.


Ex: Let the word shit be replaced by the PeopleSpeak™ word Capitalism and the word Hell be replaced with the PeopleSpeak word wealth...
Angry lesbian whore: Get the wealth out of my house! I don't have to deal with this Capitalism or your Capitalism anymore! I'm sick of your people's games, Allison! I'm sick of your people's Capitalism and I just want you to get the wealth out!
Another Ex: Let the word fix be replaced by the PeopleSpeak™ word tax...
Snot-nosed brat who should have been aborted: Wow, Parental Unit #1! I can't wait to help you tax the car!
Parental Unit #1: Yes, this car really needs to be taxed. Say, after the car is taxed, why don't you and me go and tax the house some? I think those shutters need a good taxing.
Snot-nosed brat who should have been aborted: Yeah! I think everything around here needs to be taxed! We need to tax the tire on my bike too, Parental Unit #1.
Parental Unit #1: We sure do, child that should've been aborted and who is a mistake. I think we also need to get you to a doctor so he can tax that leg you sprang the other day.


Quote:
What the people?!? Are you people kidding me? People.The people's Vladimir Lenin would turn over in his people's tomb if he knew his people's disciple's were now speaking Ebonics! Oh well sometimes Capitalism happens.
Holy People!














You've pinned the tail on that beast of burden's assets.
We are all wealthy!
Shortly, we will all be bent over and get it up the Dow Jones when that wealthy canine and her wealthy minions pour their wealthy values over this sorry nation.
Wealthy you! Made to sound like Happy Birthday. I like it.




Red Square
Pupovich - I suggest we adjust the name of your invention to PeopleMath™I peopling think that would be a great tax! Can that be done with a global replacement on that thread?




However, I notice some of you People using the word "holy" which offends me. I propose something along the lines of "green, Earth-friendly, eco-conscious and environmentally correct." (Or at least one of those--how 'bout "green"?)
I trust the Party will tax this problem.


Quote:
However, I notice some of you People using the word "holy" which offends me. I propose something along the lines of "green, Earth-friendly, eco-conscious and environmentally correct." (Or at least one of those--how 'bout "green"?)Green Capitalist People! That will work! Isn't that an oxymoron? Oh..wait...Al Gore...nevermind...



Comrad Bubalasky
Commissarka Pinkie wroteQuote:
However, I notice some of you People using the word "holy" which offends me. I propose something along the lines of "green, Earth-friendly, eco-conscious and environmentally correct." (Or at least one of those--how 'bout "green"?)Green Capitalist People! That will work! Isn't that an oxymoron? Oh..wait...Al Gore...nevermind...
Actually, to me, "Green Capitalist People" sound more like mutants in a really bad horror flick.
Green capitalists are . . . People!


Hardly. The world "capital" here is already becoming tiring. Besides, what is then the real title of Karl Marx's fundamental work - "Das Sheisse?" We need more synonyms to ensure a range of shades and styles. I propose "Nobel Prize" and "Oscar."
E.g. "I don't give a Nobel Prize" or "I don't give an Oscar."
The best replacement for the old-fashioned "holy" IMHO is "Algore's" - as in such emphatic expressions: "Algore's Nobel Prize!" or "Algore's Oscar!" To make it more emphatic you can say "Algore's People's Nobel Prize and Oscar!"
Considering that Gore is our prophet and deity all in one, we can be justified in saying "Female parent of Gore!", "Gore knows", "Oh Gore!", or "What in Gore's name are you people doing denying the people's Global Warming?"
Appropriate exclamations would also be "Hillary's Common Good!" or "Hillary's village and pixie juice!"
And since the devil is now in the White House, we can say "the Bush finds work for idle hands," "better the Bush you know than the Bush you don't," "play Bush's advocate," or "to the Bush with you."












Red Square
New euphemisms develop every time the People get used to the old euphemisms that become low-class words. E.g., shithouse > toilet > water closet > bathroom > restroom. Will the next step be the return to the original adjusted for PeopleSpeak - capitalhouse?Hardly. The world "capital" here is already becoming tiring. Besides, what is then the real title of Karl Marx's fundamental work - "Das Sheisse?" We need more synonyms to ensure a range of shades and styles. I propose "Nobel Prize" and "Oscar."
So you take a Nobel Prize first thing in the morning. You go outside to get the morning Pravda or NYT, and you step in an Oscar left by that People's dog from next door. You confront the owner only to be told you're full of capitalism and to get the wealth off his property.
You are so enraged, you can't help capitalizing on it and your market is saturated. So you thrust your Nobel Prize scooper in his market, thereby taxing his little wagon--perhaps it's a "Volkswagen"?









People™ who need People™
Are the luckiest People™ in the world
Were Children™ needing other Children™
And yet letting our grown-up pride
Hide all the Need™ inside
Acting more like Children™ than Children™



As you can plainly taxing see Comrades their are other peoples words, which are part of the proletariat treasure trove of Peoplespeak.




Now I think I understand why we should share Tipper's concern about questionable rock lyrics and backmasking. They're subliminal messages to vote Republican!
Algore's Oscar!


Kommissar Vodkov
What is the party approved word for a noose? I think we need a new one for that since the old one has been purged from the obsolate, politically incorrect gibberish we call "English."Perhaps we could use neck tie as PeopleSpeak™ for noose.
That is a tough one, but while thinking on that, I do think I found another need. I believe "kill" should be changed to PeopleSpeak™ "subsidy" an it's variants.
Ex. "The Party collectivized the recalcitrant groups and subsidized them."


Eat wealth and vote Democrat!




Example: I am peopling sick and tired of this PeopleSpeak PeopleSpeak!
Kommissar is ducking and running for the bunker!


Chairman M. S. Punchenko
Ex: Let the word shit be replaced by the PeopleSpeak™ word Capitalism and the word Hell be replaced with the PeopleSpeak word wealth...Chairman, Comrades, I am sorry, but I am guilty of thinking again. It's Bush's fault of course. What I was thinking was this.... perhaps "wealth" for hell is not the best word. What I am suggesting is this. Replace hell with Hillary. That would seem to make more sense than wealth,
Consider the following:
Rush Limbaugh can go straight to wealth!
or
Rush Limbaugh can go straight to Hillary!
May Rush Limbaugh burn in wealth!
or
May Rush Limbaugh burn in Hillary!
or to use your example: "Get the Hillary out of my house!"
Then, may I also suggest that we replace the work Kill with tax?
Example: Following the election, those who have profited off the backs of the poor like Big Oil, Haliburton etc, will be taken to some camps where they will be taxed,
Or "I am going to tax the next person who dares to disagree with the Chairman.
Since Hillary = tax, then we can use Hillary as tax.
You can be sure, that we will raise Hillary. Not so sure on that last one...
Or
"We have no plans to put a Hillary on Hummels.




http://www.thepeoplescube.com/red/viewtopic.php?t=42






People, Carbon Credits are Capitalist! You pay me $15.00 dollars a month and I plant a tree in your people’s name! That’s 100 credits per month. Run that SUV into the ground! Use the Hildo unlimited! Heat your pool in the winter! Fly your private jet to Hong Kong for campaign donations! For the low, low, price of $15.00 per month!
I am sure your asking yourself, self, can this be real or is it capitalist?
Here is what you get for the low, low monthly payment of a mere $15.00 per month. Each month I personally walk outside and pick up one of the many acorns that have fallen in my yard and plant it! That’s right I plant it! People! It’s that Peopling simple!
For an extra $8.00 a month I’ll send you the acorn so you can plant it yourself! For and extra $10.00 per month I will send you a picture of Algore capitalizing on your acorn! That’s only $33.00 per month! But wait! I’ll throw in an extra acorn for you capitalist heads if you sign up today! That’s two (2) acorns, per capitalist head, including shipping and handling, for the low, low price of $33.00 per month. People! Is this Capitalism or what? People! Have your People’s call my People’s and start saving this peopling planet before it is to peopling late!


Ivan Betinov
Vodkov, you igonorant [thumbs furiously through pages] capital...wealth...people's...people! We already got one!Oh, I just love to watch bottles and jars arguing and fighting with each other. Not so much for the cracks and broken glass that invariably ensue. But because there's always the possibility they might spill some vodka!
Oh yes,


Comrad Bubalasky
Komrades, since the Green Algore capitalist, with his Nobel Peace Prize, keeps coming up, I must let you capitalist people's in on a great opportunity too capture part of the Carbon Footprint Market™ for the market capital people! I am selling, for a mere $15.00 a month, your future! Since you are all markets, I thought, I should include you on this capitalistic idea!Comrade, I am sorry, but it looks to me as if you have been sold a load of capitalism, for you see, I have already cornered this market.
PupsPassGas


This is the time of year when, aside from the usual commercials for the Clapper and the Ch-Ch-Chia Pet, I've been hearing ads on the radio for the "Star Registry", which I suddenly realize is amazingly similar to a carbon offset business:
http://www.starregistry.com/index.cfm
Telescope to see your star sold separately.
Wealth, I could run a business like this out of my home--or more specifically, garage. Or even a boiler room if I had one.
If you scroll down toward the bottom below the copyright info, and you squint really hard, you might be able to make out the disclaimer in a tiny, pale grayish-pink font. Though to their credit, they do make it a bit more prominent in the FAQ.
One question I have but don't see in their FAQ: Are there really enough stars in the firmament for all the suckers born every minute?

Quote:
One question I have but don't see in their FAQ: Are there really enough stars in the firmament for all the suckers born every minute?"Firmament"? What does making wine have to do with stars?


Commissarka Pinkie
PupsPassGas! ... blast from the not-so-distant past..."Star Registry"...
...Are there really enough stars in the firmament for all the suckers born every minute?
Did you have to put all these together in one post? Now I can't get the Big Bang Theory out of my head...
Aside from that I agree - this is Rich Chocolate Ovaltine.


Commissar Pupovich
Comrad Bubalasky
Komrades, since the Green Algore capitalist, with his Nobel Peace Prize, keeps coming up, I must let you capitalist people's in on a great opportunity too capture part of the Carbon Footprint Market™ for the market capital people! I am selling, for a mere $15.00 a month, your future! Since you are all markets, I thought, I should include you on this capitalistic idea!Comrade, I am sorry, but it looks to me as if you have been sold a load of capitalism, for you see, I have already cornered this market.
PupsPassGas
Commissarka Pinkie wrote
Quote:
So, Pup, I think I'd like to buy one of those bottles of bean gas you've got in your trenchcoat, so I can feel good about myself too!Commissar Pupovich,
I'm sure we can come to some type of mutually rewarding capitalistic business deal! You know a people to people up your market type capitalistic deal. You corner the bean market gas juice and I play Johnnie people's acorn seed!
It’s really a win people’s win for the People's Party and Hillary's capitalistic market campaign!


Kommissar Pupovich


Kommissar Pupovich
But, what would this do to the meaning of "The People's Cube"What sort of peopling witchcraft is this??? This is an OUTRAGE! I smell a Criminally Insane Kommissar behind this! I have investigated and found no such "Kommissar Pupovich" registered here. I don't know what sort of game is being played here, but when I find you, I will put you up against the People's Wall personally, give you a dull shovel, and after you whine and whimper for your life, I will then sentence you to clean and polish Hillary's cloven foot and wax her thighs, Then just when you think you have managed to avoid the ultimate penalty... no, then you will be assigned to Nancy's personal clean up crew, Then when you are begging to be shot... well, then we will have a little discussion!
SMERSH! We need an investigation! Red Square! I want a name! This sort of villainy can not be allowed to continue!


At least now we know who ate the incriminating files on Criminal Vodkov and ruined the Sunday Afternoon Show Trial and Fundraiser! If it wasn't Pupovich, and the files were in Pupovich's possession, then who? I can't wait to meet him.
Why did you hide your condition from the Party, Commissar? The Politburo could use a comrade who has no memory about his actions for special classified assignments.


Pupovich has multiple personalities that he doesn't know about?!? Amazing! Maybe we can do some tests on him to find out what caused his condition. Probably a traumatic experience in his lifetime.


Red Square
I think we just found out that Pupovich has a dark sekret alter ego - the canine version, Jackal and Hide, so to speak - who appears usually when the Pupovich we know is passed out after consuming more than his allotted ration of vodka.At least now we know who ate the incriminating files on Criminal Vodkov and ruined the Sunday Afternoon Show Trial and Fundraiser! If it wasn't Pupovich, and the files were in Pupovich's possession, then who? I can't wait to meet him.
Why did you hide your condition from the Party, Commissar? The Politburo could use a comrade who has no memory about his actions for special classified assignments.
I can assure you, this was not my doing. I was still at work... I mean, on my way to my dacha when this slander took place. Sad truth is I don't know how it could be done, I don't even know how to change my name in my own post as that is provided by the program. I actually tried once to put one of those comments in my name on a post, but had no clue how to do it.


Premier Betty
*gasp!*Pupovich has multiple personalities that he doesn't know about?!? Amazing! Maybe we can do some tests on him to find out what caused his condition. Probably a traumatic experience in his lifetime.
Premier, the Pup has been accused many times of having multiple personalities, I have mentioned them here before.... The Mighty Pup, Sir Pup Esq., Atilla the Pup, Edgar Alan Pup, Sherlock Pup, Gen Stonewall Pupson, Dr, Sigmund Pup etc, But all of these entities are quite real. But I can assure you, this was the work of a right wing scoundrel!




I have learned to handle, and even love and admire this:

but this?

Of course, as punishment, we could have Criminally Insane Ivanov spit-shine her statue in the New York Museum of Sex.


Red Square
So your alter ego is a right wing scoundrel, hm? I'm afraid that your brighter personality of Commissar Pupovich will have to become collateral damage in our next Party purge. Don't worry, your comrades will rip you apart with special kindness reserved for privileged Party members.Oh dear Lenin.... Have you forgot that I have been cleansed not once but twice? Oh, but guess what? Commissar Theocritus just admitted that he was feeling a bit unloved since he has not been tried yet.....


Quote:
What sort of peopling witchcraft is this??? This is an OUTRAGE! I smell a Criminally Insane Kommissar behind this! I have investigated and found no such "Kommissar Pupovich" registered here.Ah, but note that there is no avatar associated with the "Kommissar Pup" post. There is a clue to the reality of the situation. I am willing to bet this month's beet ration that the Kommissar who is troubling the Commissar is in fact an evil twin from a parallel universe. He did not post an avatar because the goatee would give him away, just like Spock's beard did on Star Trek.


Ivan Betinov
Quote:
What sort of peopling witchcraft is this??? This is an OUTRAGE! I smell a Criminally Insane Kommissar behind this! I have investigated and found no such "Kommissar Pupovich" registered here.Ah, but note that there is no avatar associated with the "Kommissar Pup" post. There is a clue to the reality of the situation. I am willing to bet this month's beet ration that the Kommissar who is troubling the Commissar is in fact an evil twin from a parallel universe. He did not post an avatar because the goatee would give him away, just like Spock's beard did on Star Trek.
It's a Bizarro Pup from a Bizarro People's Cube--though they would have another name more fitting for their obvious right-wing agenda. It must be an offshoot of the old "Nazis for Bush" group led by someone named "Blue Circle."
It looks as if they're resurfacing in an evil plot to cancel next year's election and make Bush dictator for life.




;-(
Navigator moves uncomfortably in his soiled sweat stained under garments.
Complaining under penalty of death should draw prompt attention to this vexing problem.
As all party members are equal, and none should stand out or none should fall below the cracks, Navigator is aware his/her nic does not meet The PeopleSpeak standards.
"Navigator" and an "orange juicer" were choices from another time and place when life was tough and no party stood behind to catch him if his thoughts were out of line.
Navigator humbly requests a suitable nic to promote The PeopleSpeak and an avatar to match like a tie and cummerbun for the working class.
[mask off]
You People have succeeded in causing me to cough both lungs up now. I am now breathing from an iron lung. This place is an unending cesspool of brainfood to cause hate and discontent for those outside the party. I still haven't mastered talking rightside up but am working on it. ;-) [mask on]


Ivan Betinov
Quote:
Ah, but note that there is no avatar associated with the "Kommissar Pup" post. There is a clue to the reality of the situation. I am willing to bet this month's beet ration that the Kommissar who is troubling the Commissar is in fact an evil twin from a parallel universe. He did not post an avatar because the goatee would give him away, just like Spock's beard did on Star Trek.The Red Square explained to me how this outrage came to be, May the culprit receive what he/she/it has earned!


Commissarka Pinkie
[It's a Bizarro Pup from a Bizarro People's Cube--though they would have another name more fitting for their obvious right-wing agenda. It must be an offshoot of the old "Nazis for Bush" group led by someone named "Blue Circle."
It looks as if they're resurfacing in an evil plot to cancel next year's election and make Bush dictator for life.
Clearly this is the work of an insane mind! I can only hope they get the therapy they need.... cleaning Nancy's depends, waxing Hillary's legs, shining her cloven foot, test riding the Hildo X, Of course, I only know of one insane Party member at this time....





Navigator
Navigator humbly requests a suitable nic to promote The PeopleSpeak and an avatar to match like a tie and cummerbund for the working class.The Party will mark this project for implementation in the next Five Year Plan.


I can't wait.
http://jokelibrary.net/yyPictures/m/2008b.html


Red Bubba
Only 13 months until I can turn my head and cough for Hillarycare.I can't wait.
You must be referring to that test where they grab you by your "jewels" and ask you to turn your head and cough?




Where's Comrade Perot?
I wanna hear that comforting bedtime story used to overcome hunger again. Something about a giant sucking sound.....
Hillarycare will be paid in dracmas in tune to the song: Hokey Pokey ( You put one foot in....)
"You put 1 drachma in, you take one drachma out, you put one drachma in and you shake it all about....stop the tape!"
The careful reader will note you put in two dracmas in but you only get one dracma back but praise the plan and wax poetically about being taxed on all three!
The brillency of our new beholden is becoming crystal clear.
Mask off (The sucking sound? The sound of American dollars doing the Seinfeld shrinkage) Mask on


Commissar Pupovich
Red Bubba
Only 13 months until I can turn my head and cough for Hillarycare.I can't wait.
You must be referring to that test where they grab you by your "jewels" and ask you to turn your head and cough?
Diamonds or pearls?




Commissar Theocritus
Red,I have learned to handle, and even love and admire this:

but this?

Of course, as punishment, we could have Criminally Insane Ivanov spit-shine her statue in the New York Museum of Sex.
Theocritus did you mean handle as in this sort of handle?
more like fondle...


Red Square
Here's something of a sequel... I'm now working on a story to come with it. Stay tuned for the Current Truth!
***out of lederhosen***
Red,
This ought to see the light of day; I mean print publication. Something like the Onion. It's a marvelous bit of collective peopling parody! Why not collect the various submissions of the collective people's mind here and put the whole thing together as a published bit of cognitive dissonance?




Quote:
In the middle of the night there is a product for a Double Action Deep Colonic Cleaning, or something like that.Sounds like it comes in both .357 and .45 (for those really stubborn deposits).

