Please update your Bibles:

Jesus loved the proletariat revolution and economic equality so much that he died on the hammer and sickle for our collective salvation from the chains of capitalist exploitation. His second coming is at hand; he will smite the bankers, the CEOs, and the money managers, and he will establish a workers' paradise here on earth, free of money, which is the devil's dung, and based on the materialistic principles of redistributive justice and the dictatorship of the proletariat.

- Gospel of Pope Francis, updated and improved.

Pope Francis calls profits "the dung of the devil"

Do not believe capitalist propaganda that devil's dung can be fertilizer, but don't hesitate to grab it when it drops on your lap.

Religion is the biggest competitor to the Progressive™ movement because it occupies the same space in the heart and minds that rightfully belongs to the Party and its leaders.

Make no mistake: this is a fight for territory. Sometimes, however, the fight is not even necessary when you can convert, subvert, and divert. Planting Comrade Francis in drag as the Pope in the Vatican had been our biggest coup since Alger Hiss infiltrated the U.S. State Department and the U.N.

Learn and share best practices, comrades. Create a mental image in the heads of the unwashed that religion is a tool in the hands of capitalists, then snatch this imaginary tool from their hands and start hitting the capitalists upside their heads with it, much like you would do with a shovel, or with a hammer and sickle for that matter.

Continue to treat Christianity as the opiate for the masses and a tool of capitalist oppression, except when we ourselves have the opportunity to use it as the opiate and a tool to advance the revolution - then treat it as the true word of God (and shut up for the time being about the fact that God is a fairy tale for the feeble-minded).



FURTHER READING:

The New Progressive Bible

 

Amen...
 

Yet another instance of life imitating the People's Cube. We published the New Progressive Bible back in 2006.

Here's an improved image of Pope Francis with the hammered Christ -


 

I'm offended.

His Holiness the Pope is holding artwork. Presidenté Morales is displaying a Hello Kitty "massager" . Such items should be kept in plain brown wrappers and used behind closed doors by consenting adults.
 

Jesus was obviously a communist. We are indebted to the Commie Cardinal, the Proletariat's Pope, the People's Pontiff for illuminating our Biblical understanding
 

Made of gold mined, smelted, and sculpted by the inmates of gulag 7.
 

Kamrade Glorious Fearless Leader!

I thought this this was the progressive bible:




 

Comrades,

Listen to our Bolivian brothers as they "run jive" with the "Best in Class" North American Progressives and steal your wallet at the same time - true professionals!

According to reports, Morales told Francis that the "Communist crucifix" was modeled on a design created by the Rev. Luis Espinal, a politically active priest murdered by right-wing paramilitaries in Bolivia in 1980. The Pope stopped and prayed at the site of the shooting on Wednesday evening.

Lombardi said Espinal had designed the crucifix as a symbol of dialogue and commitment to freedom and progress for Bolivia, not with any specific ideology in mind. Lombardi said he personally wasn’t offended by it.

“You can dispute the significance and use of the symbol now, but the origin is from Espinal and the sense of it was about an open dialogue, not about a specific ideology,” Lombardi said.

He noted the context in which Espinal was living: as a priest working for social justice in Bolivia during a period of instability that preceded a right-wing dictatorship known for human rights abuses.

For Comrade Lombardi to say that "it" (the Communist crucifix) was "...not about a specific ideology," is sheer genius and deserves some kind of "People's Award" at the very least!
 

If you look closely you can see that the face of Jesus is Che Guevara.
 

Komrades, more awesomely good progressive news. ACLU defends KKK's rights. Sure so, KKK must have rights, those evil Christians must not have.

https://www.aclu.org/news/aclu-em-defen ... ree-speech
 

Komrades, Have we not forgotten our own history, where ( white privileged ) peoples fed up with the punishment from the Church of England, led a small group of progressives to sail across the Atlantic in Cadillac shaped fishing boats to set up a new Eden within the new world where even Jesus would have allowed gays to marry. It was to be a place where everyone could enjoy casual sex, transgenders no longer had to hide and women had the right to choose. Where Richard Dawkins would later replace Christ on the cross as well as the altar of almighty and infectious fiction of conditions of consciousness can be made pure and personal responsibility of the chosen can no longer be knotted in existential conflict…which will no doubt cryptically reinstitute feudalism…glorious pure Nirvana….Oh my I just wet my pants ….
 

trashmouth

Komrades, Have we not forgotten our own history, where ( white privileged ) peoples fed up with the punishment from the Church of England, led a small group of progressives to sail across the Atlantic in Cadillac shaped fishing boats to set up a new Eden within the new world where even Jesus would have allowed gays to marry. It was to be a place where everyone could enjoy casual sex, transgenders no longer had to hide and women had the right to choose. Where Richard Dawkins would later replace Christ on the cross as well as the altar of almighty and infectious fiction of conditions of consciousness can be made pure and personal responsibility of the chosen can no longer be knotted in existential conflict…which will no doubt cryptically reinstitute feudalism…glorious pure Nirvana….Oh my I just wet my pants ….

Comrade, consider yourself forgiven,... I'm sure it wasn't your fault. Besides, there's a "wet pants fetishist" out there somewhere just dying to meat meet you.
 

Captain Craptek PhD, the renowned sexologist,

trashmouth

Oh my I just wet my pants….

Comrade, consider yourself forgiven,... I'm sure it wasn't your fault. Besides, there's a "wet pants fetishist" out there somewhere just dying to meat meet you..
The Pope™ finally received something awesome this Sunday morning.
.
I may have wet my garments because the Pope™ category this year was brutal - and it's only July... it's a miracle!
.


 

Comrades, I denounce the use of the hammer and sickle. The cross, which was replaced, was a symbol of oppression. Now we are being tricked about this as a wonderful thing, but it was secretly meant as a symbol of oppression by the capitalists.


Darn it! Tricked again!
 

Hillary must be about up to her nose in s**t, then.

Sorry. "Then the Clinton Foundation is exceedingly well fertilized."

Hammer and Loupe tipped his hat to the new constitution when he

Darn it! Tricked again!

Ave, duci novo, similis duci seneca!


 

Lev Termen

Hillary must be about up to her nose in s**t, then.

Sorry. "Then the Clinton Foundation is exceedingly well fertilized."

Hammer and Loupe tipped his hat to the new constitution when he

Darn it! Tricked again!

Ave, duci novo, similis duci seneca!



IMPERIUM IN IMPERIO
 

So what yer sayin', then, Captain, is that Civis Romanus Sum can now be considered Excretus Est Ex Altitudine, and in the wonderful world of Next Tuesday it all comes down to Quia Ego Sic Dico?

That's about what I figured.
 

Lev Termen

So what yer sayin', then, Captain, is that Civis Romanus Sum can now be considered Excretus Est Ex Altitudine, and in the wonderful world of Next Tuesday it all comes down to Quia Ego Sic Dico?

That's about what I figured.
Exactly!
 

<prog off>
Forsan et haec olim meminisse iuvabit.
 

"An hour will come, with pleasure to relate / Your sorrows past, as benefits of Fate."
 

Or perhaps: "Someday this will make a helluva good war story."
 

Komrades, does this updated edition contain memes and pictures to be more easily consumable by the masses?
 

A pertinent question. Yes Comrade, expect small words and large pictures, suitable for crayons and colored multi- wavelength-reflective pencils alike.
 

Pope Francis launches an all out search for elusive proof of "unfettered capitalism". "We know it is out there - somewhere." said the People's Pontiff, "and by golly, we are going to find it".



 

Lev Termen

it all comes down to Quia Ego Sic Dico
This is a family site, you pervert!
 

hmmm, not good. Because I say so. Won't work in Bureau of politiks.
 

THE POPE'S CREED:

I believe in One World, and Government Almighty,
There to protect heaven and earth,
And in Jesus Christ, a Soial Justice Warrior.
He was conceived of the Jews, but quickly realized his error and became Catholic.
He suffered under capitalism and greed,
Was crucified on the Hammer and Sickle
He descended into the lairs of the bankers.
The third day, he rose from the dead and started the Russian, Cuban, and Venezuelan revolutions.
He ascended into the Worker's Paradise
And is seated at the right hand of Marx.
From thence he shall come to judge the capitalists not quick enough to get out of his way.
I believe everything I hear from Al Sharpton,
I believe in the holy Soviet, the forgiveness of sins of the proletariat only, and punishment for Global Warming Deniers, Wall Street, and Sean Hannity.
I believe in the resurrection of a time when man did not have light bulbs, effective medicine, and indoor plumbing,
And a litany of liberal lies without end.
 

Two questions have come to mind.

1. Obviously the Pope has embraced Marxism, an atheist system. Is the Pope a true Marxist?

2. Is there now a competition between the world's Soviet God-State and religion?