President Denounces Media for Inciting Popular Violence, Promises Investigation

Dear Comrades,

In his condemnation yesterday of reactionary and bourgeois violence, Comrade Party Chairman and President Barack Barackovich Obama denounced the USSA Media, along with video game makers and purveyors of other forms of mass entertainment, for inciting counter-revolutionary aggression. Among his 23 Executive Orders, Comrade President Barack Barackovich commanded the Centers for Diseased Control and Behavior Prevention of the Department of Mandatory Health and Human Services to compile evidence against the various Media sources that are guilty of inciting the Masses to violence.

In effect admitting their guilt, the State Broadcast Media Collective (comprised of The Motion Picture Association of America, the National Association of Broadcasters, National Cable & Telecommunications Association and the Independent Film & Television Alliance) denounced themselves by agreeing to be examined for correction by the Party.

Obama calls for research on media in gun violence

It is clear that the State, guided by the Universal Disarmament & Pacification Plan of the Party, must help the Media manage its messages to the impressionable workers and peasants of the USSA, who are vulnerable to subliminal and overt suggestions from the Media. An immediate goal will be the establishment of a ratings system presided over by a Committee of Censors, who will rate Media programming for violence and refer deleterious Media materials to the State for a formal ban.

Censors can help the workers and peasants of the USSA to receive only Party-approved messages, while filtering out violent, reactionary, and politically-decadent messages that would incite the People to counter-revolutionary thinking or activity, such as gun violence or political disobedience. One can only wonder if the senseless murders in American schools could have been prevented had these reforms been in place years earlier under less Progressive regimes.

We know that healthy role models in the Media, such as Barney the Dinosaur, Elmo, Caillou, and the Teletubbies encourage citizens to be properly pacified and compliant with parental and State authority, and so the Party is certain that the State Broadcast Media Collective, through proper monitoring and guidance from the Party, will develop more of these leaders in Social Progress.

It is expected that such academic research will further establish not only the connection between the desire to own weapons and mental illness, but the uncontrollable impulse to commit murder that people experience when owning weapons. The State Broadcast Media Collective is expected to assist the Party in sharing this message with the Masses.

Demand Pacifist programming from the State Broadcast Media Collective!
End all violent entertainment!

Faithfully submitted to the Collective of the People's Cube,
Comrade Nomenklatura-climber
Proletarian Red-noser

Comrade, is this the same media that has been living comfortably in the presidents rectum?

Counterpunch wrote:Comrade, is this the same media that has been living comfortably in the presidents rectum?

"But is it true love, in the rectum?" --Samuel Beckett, Molloy

Comrades,

We all know that no one is too large or too important to not fit under the Collective Autobus™.

Perhaps we can tax them, too?