Dear Comrades,

To derail the counter-revolutionary activities of the disloyal Republican partisan forces in the USSA, such as the NRA and the Tea Party, Comrade Party Chairman and President Barack Barackovich Obama has ordered the release of more than 5,000 presently-undocumented workers and peasants from Immigration and Customs Enforcement facilities to form a ‘Seventh Column' in support of American Social Progress.

During Comrade Obama's many years as a Revolutionary Agitator and Community Activist, the President learned the importance of maintaining a ‘Fifth Column' of active partisans who will bring down Imperialism from within, as well as a ‘Sixth Column' of defeatist agitators who bring down the morale of Capitalists and their Kulak enablers. Having achieved the goal of weakening Capitalism as the main system of economics in the USSA, the President will soon unleash the Seventh Column to finally bring down the State system which presently operates according to Capitalist standards of taxation.

The newly released Seventh Columnists will soon receive orders from local Commissars and Community Organizers to apply for local social redistribution programs which have been, through Progressive legislation, opened to ‘undocumented workers.' By over-stressing the already weakened economy, the Party is certain that final collapse of taxes-for-services system of budgeting will occur once all eligible persons within the State begin to receive their fair share of the People's Wealth.

The Party knows that presently-undocumented workers and peasants are a valuable asset in the struggle against reactionaries and others with fantasies about private property. The question has been answered: private property is never fair, and so taxes can never be high enough because taxes assume that one owns something after the taxes are paid. What a delusion! Private property is never fair, because ownership itself is a delusion.

Seventh Columnists are proven warriors is the struggle to bring down the bourgeois system: they have bravely clogged emergency rooms and jails, swallowing vast resources on behalf of the Proletariat.

Our Glorious Leader, Comrade Obama will triumph over the weak and decadent Republicans. Comrades, our victory is soon to be ours, with the courageous service of the Seventh Column!

Release the Seventh Column against the Capitalists!
Undocumented workers are the Vanguard of the Party!

Faithfully submitted to the Collective of the People's Cube,
Comrade Nomenklatura-climber
Dialectical Progressivism Translator

Thanks Comrade Climber. I've order my Rosetta Stone software in preparation for Next Tuesday™.

Rossetta Stone first words are "vote" and "ballot".

As a condition of their release from custody, grateful undocumented workers line up to cast unverified absentee ballots in the 2014 midterm elections.

This also means that we are one Column closer to the glorious Twelfth Column ...

It's exciting... soon there will be so many "columns" undermining society that there will be no one left in the society being undermined and all the columns will be undermining each other!