Prog Fantasy Magazine: The Palin Issue



h/t Snoogie Woogums
Inside This Issue: Location of her underground lair. Evil Sarah's Deadly Arsenal: Ray Gun, Mind-Numb Robot Army, Mind Controlling Dog Whistle, Insanity Inducing Target Map, Hypnotizing Sex Appeal. 10 Things You Should Know About Sarah: Dumb yet brilliantly evil. Thinks the planet is only 47 years old. Shoots kittens and puppies for sport. Violates the Prime Directive just for fun. Our Friends Are Stealing From Us: the New York Times, ABC, CBS, NBC, and CNN are selling our ideas as hard news. Brain Exercises: How to trick your mind into believing facts are fiction and vice versa. New Study: All conservative speech is vitriol and leads to violence. Progressive speech will align your chakras. Next Issue: The Tea Party's plan to summon Cthulhu and control the world.




Is there some cross over between the 47 years and 57 states. Perhaps she really said she has 47 fears and was misquoted!








Brilliant, just brilliant..........
For this outstanding work I am also pleased to inform you that The People's Navy has just awarded you the prestigious:
May this make a nice addition to your numerous Beet Of The Week awards!


Now I must go to Jiffy-Lobo to get my





Maksim, who says all that stuff about Palin is a fantasy?





--Peeples Journalist


If we're going to summon him ourselves we better do it before Keith demonizes him.


In the meantime, I intend to subscribe to PROG FANTASY, and will proudly display it on my Coffee Party approved Coffee Table along with my other favorite magazines, OBAMA BEAT and BEAT PALIN.


Commissarka Pinkie
INGSOC, haven't you heard? In the wake of The One's call to tone down the harsh rhetoric, Keith Olbermann is going to rename his "Worst Person in the World" segment to "The Person Most Like Sarah Palin."In the meantime, I intend to subscribe to PROG FANTASY, and will proudly display it on my Coffee Party approved Coffee Table along with my other favorite magazines, OBAMA BEAT and BEAT PALIN.
I had heard that the segment was going to be renamed "2nd Worst Person in the World!" because is is understood/assumed that Palin is auto #1. They must be kicking around several options.
P.S. Palin looks like a bark covered Avatar on that Feel and Scream mag cover. Keep it away from Gore, he might be weakened by the eco friendly image and her hairy/tree like allure. I might even call the image subversive.


INGSOC
* * *
P.S. Palin looks like a bark covered Avatar on that Feel and Scream mag cover. Keep it away from Gore, he might be weakened by the eco friendly image and her hairy/tree like allure. I might even call the image subversive.
Dear INGSOC,
I fear you are right. That image is having the effect of partially restoring my wooden nature (as a tree). I hunger for bark. I bark for hunger. I'm feeling disloyal to GAIA. Must resist. Must resist. Lenin help me. Chakra mooloo! She's controlling my mind! Heeeelllllp! Must speak
The Sasquatch's Mind Force is morphing me into something I'm not-- must get back to myself. Must get ..... Must ....
Aaaaaayyyyyeeeee!


Colonel 7.62
Cthulhu ensures true equality by making sure we are all equally dead. Just think. No more man made disasters, no more global climate disruptionColonel, you are true thought provocateur. Is climate change like a tree falling in the woods? I mean, if there are no people, would climate change matter anymore?


Commodore Snoogie Woogums
Superkommissar Maksim,Brilliant, just brilliant..........
For this outstanding work I am also pleased to inform you that The People's Navy has just awarded you the prestigious:
May this make a nice addition to your numerous Beet Of The Week awards!
Thank so much Comrade Woogums, this is quite an honor. Just a note, I prefer my shipmates medium rare.


I understand from INGSOC that after seeing the image posted earlier in this thread by Comrade Peeples Journalist (a half-size copy of which is immediately below) ...
.
... you said this:
Gorbels Cube
* * *That image is having the effect of partially restoring my wooden nature (as a tree). I hunger for bark. I bark for hunger. I'm feeling disloyal to GAIA. Must resist. Must resist. Lenin help me. Chakra mooloo! She's controlling my mind! Heeeelllllp! Must speak
The Sasquatch's Mind Force is morphing me into something I'm not-- must get back to myself. Must get ..... Must ....
Aaaaaayyyyyeeeee!
Well, my dear Comrade Gorbels Cube,
The Sasquatch is covered with fur, not bark, so you (and INGSOC) may need glasses. On the other hand, it may be one of her mind-control tricks to make you think she's covered with something so appetising to you that the mere sight of her gives her the ability to make you involuntarily return to your wooden nature.
Now if you'll stop grabbing at my beads, I can help you.

Now, let me help you get relieved from being involuntarily controlled by her image. It's really quite simple: Close your eyes and begin concentrating on a hagiographic image that is burned into the memory of all loyal Progressives-- You know the one I mean. For any new member of the Peoples Cube Collective in whose mind the image has not yet been burned during the Jiffy Lobo process, I've provided a copy of it immediately below.
.


I'll bet you feel better and more relaxed already.
--GAIA Minister Neytiri


I want to subscribe to this magazine.


Com. V D Sphincter
Ministry of Head Gear
*helmet not to be used during visits to Department of Thought Reform








I now deeply regret allowing my PF subscription to expire. I salute Supercommissar Makism for his most equal contribution to the collective.
If I may be so bold, there is one slight bit of understanding I can add to a misleading statement on the cover. SP's lair is hidden but not impossible to find. While staring at the night sky after a metaphysical encounter and in a catnip-induced fog, I was able to divine the direction to her lair...and following the trail of moose antlers and fish guts, was able to take an interminable series of hops in a bush plane to a remote island where Clan Palin was found gnawing bones and gnashing their teeth. Or were they gnawing their teeth and gnashing bones, I am not clear on this point. As for the flight back, it was a hallucinogenic blur, I think they put something in the Kitten Chow they offered me. I awoke from my stupor with a clear sense that the collective is morbidly fixed on this fiend, and that I have a craving for pork dumplings.


Hey, wait a minute. You hitched a ride with Hu to get back, didn't you?






He shoulda saved his allowance and bought one of those high powered blue laser pointers. Then he could set his sister's dress on fire from across the room ($200) and it fits in your shirt pocket.
Kids these days! No imagination.


