Progressive Thanksgiving Prayer: Blessing of the Taxes

Pravda, thank you for your consoling words. It is an existential crisis as I sit in the Rancho and look at all the lovely loot that I have. The Hummels. I don't really care for them but they are Chairman Meow's Hummels. And all that Wedgwood. Given me, yes, that's right, given me, but it's not really to my taste. But the fact that it was someone else's and that he might like to have it back, gives it an indescribable sapor making it more precious than anything else.

I am an Equal Opportunity Father Prog: Hear a fable, pace Ambrose Bearce.

Two dogs were fighting over a bone and neither could get the advantage. They asked a sheep passing by to decide who got the bone.

The sheep threw the bone into a pond. One dog asked, "Why did you do that? Now neither of us can have the bone!"

"Because I am a vegetarian."

Or, if the sheep looked like Janet Incompetano, "Because I am a vagitarian."

Or, if one is Bonnie Fwank, "Because I am a vagarian."

Or, if one is Moochelle Obama, "Because I am a vulgarian."


Or, if one is Nina Totenberg (dead mountain), "Because I am a Vulcan."

Or, if one is Nanski Peloski, "Because I am a vagina."

And my apologizes to our distaff comradettes: I cleaned up that last one just a bit. If you know what I mean, and I think that you do.
 

Wait Comrades, in what year did the first Thanksgiving occur? Perhaps that was under the Glorious Mayflower Kompakt, which ensured that each person would get as much as they wanted, whether they worked or not! It was a major success, but those who re-wrote history to ensure adoration of the Founding Thugs also re-painted this episode of Amerikkan history to make it seem as though socialism was a bad thing.

In my Kollektive we had a perfectly equitable Thanksgiving. Comrade Redhen made lots and lots of food, and we all sat politely and waited for her to get done before eating our equal share.
 

Nookie, I wonder about your "equal share." If you are a humble toiler in the vineyards, or beet fields, of the Progressive World of Next Tuesday™, then it is entirely appropriate to talk about one's "equal share" or even one's "fair share."

But here we are, in camera, and we're all made progs here. Aren't we? If you aren't then I have to shoot you.

Which means that equal = not getting all the lovely lolly that I want.

Bipartisan = rolling over and saying, "Don't worry about the Vaseline."

Fair share = the money that well-to-do conservatives ought to pay because they're, ugh, conservative and it's also the money that well-connected liberals are happy to pay because they've made better investments in buying Democrat politicians who write their tax laws.

Hear and believe, oh comrades! Always buy the best politician that you can. Legislation is no time for compromise in quality! You need a Harry Reid or a Nanski Peloski to kick the nuts of anyone fool enough to try to stand on his legs.

Buy your Reid or Peloski today! They're an investment that you'll never regret. The investment that just keeps on giving. Now the world might go to hell but what of it? You'll have your tax shelter and your own little crotchet in the laws, and Harry and Nanski can then buy all the middle-class people (who pay most of the taxes; that's where the money is) by telling them that they'll fight the wealthy.

Who have already, and are you ready for this? Sit down; you'll love it----

Harry and Nanski are bought and paid for!

Tell me, and this is between us progs: is there a better sight on this earth than seeing two people who are as utterly vicious and stupid as Harry and Nanski, but who have good political skill, rise to the point of destroying the world?

Because they can, dear comrades. Because they can.

And this is what I want you to take away with you. You are NOTHING unless you destroy, but always in the name of change. There is no such thing as people doing well by themselves.

So destroy. Destroy. Destroy.

Be a good prog. DESTROY.

Listen to Nanski and Harry, and of course our Leader, dear Bouncing Baby Barry Bama, whose view of America is badly concealed contempt: destroy this wretched land because if America stops being America, than the Thousand Year Reich of Darkness can settle in over the world.
 

Father Prog Theocritus

Pravda, thank you for your consoling words. It is an existential crisis as I sit in the Rancho and look at all the lovely loot that I have. The Hummels. I don't really care for them but they are Chairman Meow's Hummels. And all that Wedgwood. Given me, yes, that's right, given me, but it's not really to my taste. But the fact that it was someone else's and that he might like to have it back, gives it an indescribable sapor making it more precious than anything else.

I am an Equal Opportunity Father Prog: Hear a fable, pace Ambrose Bearce.

Two dogs were fighting over a bone and neither could get the advantage. They asked a sheep passing by to decide who got the bone.

The sheep threw the bone into a pond. One dog asked, "Why did you do that? Now neither of us can have the bone!"

"Because I am a vegetarian."

Or, if the sheep looked like Janet Incompetano, "Because I am a vagitarian."

Or, if one is Bonnie Fwank, "Because I am a vagarian."

Or, if one is Moochelle Obama, "Because I am a vulgarian."

Or, if one is Nina Totenberg (dead mountain), "Because I am a Vulcan."

Or, if one is Nanski Peloski, "Because I am a vagina."

And my apologizes to our distaff comradettes: I cleaned up that last one just a bit. If you know what I mean, and I think that you do.

I always thought NPR stood for National Pubic Radio.
Does the Vulcan still suffer Krauthammer Interruptus?

I ponder the presence of the sheep, symbolic for the working class?
Why does anyone ask a follower to make decisions?
The Follower simply surrenders all independence and follows blindly and happily.
A true follower would have stood there with the bone awaiting instructions.

Would not the great Nanski actually qualify as Vagina Botoxes?
I wonder if she is not sometimes stretched to the limit on her capabilities, but perhaps it is as you say in your follow on. She does have Political Skills. As well as money and access to insider trading.

The great Janet always has the Security of the Homeland at the top of her list right under surrender.

Deputy Bwaney still has only one bullet and it is a blank. As is his mind.

The distaff side of the POTUS (WOPUS?) (WOTPOTUS?) is indeed a Vulgarian and that will likely never change.

Have you checked with local Auction houses on the financial value the decadent Hummels and Wedgewoods?

I also admire the handcrafted items made by the working class artisans, usually from afar as no one is willing to trade them for beets.
 

There is one interruption that the Vulcan will never have: coitus interruptus. Even if she dates Doc Johnson, whose products she could wilt.

I swear, Pravda. Do you know what it's like to have to keep ready the Hildo Turbo Hydra? With those women? Normal latex just won't do it. Hell, one of our comradettes managed to wear down the carborundum.

An interesting idea about Nanski being vagina botoxes. Let's never forget though that botox is short for botulism toxin. Perhaps homeopathic?
 

Father Prog Theocritus

There is one interruption that the Vulcan will never have: coitus interruptus. Even if she dates Doc Johnson, whose products she could wilt.

I swear, Pravda. Do you know what it's like to have to keep ready the Hildo Turbo Hydra? With those women? Normal latex just won't do it. Hell, one of our comradettes managed to wear down the carborundum.

An interesting idea about Nanski being vagina botoxes. Let's never forget though that botox is short for botulism toxin. Perhaps homeopathic?

The Vulcan wears out the batteries eh? Same way she wears out her Welcome. She is all for the Party but fails to understand all of the Party is not for her.

The Placebo effect on Nanski......possible as she may actually be a 'like'. After all Let like be cured by like.
So what is the cure for the Nanski? Botulism? The similar?
Ah the thought process wanders.

Your duties and travails await you. Onward then to the task with renewed effort and increasing pride in your efforts. As an alternative watch a good Bette Noir movie late at night while sipping Wine.
 

I have pondered on the Nanski dilemma: personally I think that she is Kaposi's Sarcoma on the Body Politic.

But just this morning I have been pondering Senator Schumer. I made the mistake of showing a picture of the Senator to my rat Willard, who has been humping the bars of his cage ever since.
 

We have now coined the term 'The Schumer Effect'. One shudders.
Since KS is normally associated with AIDS one can consider she is a Herpesvirus and that makes her a true Typhoid Mary of the Political Body.
 

Now Prava, be nice to Nanski. After all, she gave us, "Pass this bill and you'll see what's in it." That is a contract for slavery with no limitations. How lucky we are to be able to submit to this woman, who literally held our lives in her taloned hands.

Pass this bill and you'll see what's in it.

Was there ever a more ringing call to Prayer for the Faithful Socialist?
 

Father Prog Theocritus

Now Prava, be nice to Nanski. After all, she gave us, "Pass this bill and you'll see what's in it." That is a contract for slavery with no limitations. How lucky we are to be able to submit to this woman, who literally held our lives in her taloned hands.

Pass this bill and you'll see what's in it.

Was there ever a more ringing call to Prayer for the Faithful Socialist?
Back to the sheep.
Ah well truly the party leadership knows what's best. Ours is but to blindly follow and while falling off the cliff to consider the end benefit.
After all the lead Lemming surely had some thought in mind as to destination and purpose.
"We'll all jump then find out what it feels like when we hit bottom" which is a wonderful way to exercise blind stupidity obediance.
I wonder even now with the Leaders poll numbers somewhere below whale feces if the Lemmings proletariat (Progressives?) can gather together again and do it one more time for the Party.
Even the Great Nanski and her faithful fool friend the Dirty Harry may have to suck it up and admit it's time for a re-look at the non direction the Party is taken and then jump off the cliff. After all what is direction other than a point toward which your heading?
 

We are very religious, Pravda; bear in mind that this is a tradition with a long history. All the other chiliasts have gone onto the top of a mountain to wait for the end of the world and when it did not come, they found a reason that it did no come instead of wondering about why they believed it in the first place. They never let reality interfere with their desires.

And so it is with us socialists. We all say that socialism would work if it were tried right. Despite the murder, er, sorry, recycling of the carbon units surplus to requirements last century of 100,000,000 people, we still keep on looking for perfect socialism.

Because we never lose faith, no matter how many times we fall and get shit rubbed into our faces.

Because THAT'S someone else's fault.
 

The famous "It would have except....." or "I could have made it work but...."
The true Party believer does not question the why of failure only pay avid attention to the 'it will be different when I do it' statements of those who Lead the Party. Leaders are never wrong are they? They have a long history of never being right and never accomplishing anything. To some that is a measure of success. For those who consider themselves part of the Intelligentsia and have the all knowing smirk of intellectual superiority it becomes a case of justification for failure and explanation for why it does not or did, not work that time. One can explain it by simply saying "you don't understand".
Let us settle in and admire the Hummels and Wedgewoods until the Culture Police comes and takes them.
 

You're right about leaders never being wrong. They just aren't appreciated.

In private enterprise, failure means, well, failure. Bankruptcy. Going out of business.

In government, failure means success because we all know the idea was right, but not enough money was extorted with menaces from the taxpayer to give it the right bureaucratic chi.
 

"Multi famam, conscientiam, pauci verentur."
Translation available.
 

I admit that my Latin is rusty by a few decades but I'm not quite scanning that. "Multi" is either masculine/neuter genitive singular or nominative masculine plural. "Famam" could only be feminine singular accusative. Same with "conscientiam." For "Pauci" the same as "Multi." I believe "verentur" is a third-conjugation, deponent verb, "they fear."

But then so many Latin tags have elided words and as I said, my stuff is out of date.

I offer in my defense that I was trying to read Marx, which is, frankly, unreadable.
 

Father Prog Theocritus

I admit that my Latin is rusty by a few decades but I'm not quite scanning that. "Multi" is either masculine/neuter genitive singular or nominative masculine plural. "Famam" could only be feminine singular accusative. Same with "conscientiam." For "Pauci" the same as "Multi." I believe "verentur" is a third-conjugation, deponent verb, "they fear."

But then so many Latin tags have elided words and as I said, my stuff is out of date.

I offer in my defense that I was trying to read Marx, which is, frankly, unreadable.

“Many fear their reputation, few their consciences'
 

You’re utterly right. As I said, it's been 35 years since the Virgil.
 

Pravda, as a Made Prog, I do not find it necessary to fear even my reputation; after all, if Sheets Byrd could be an unrepentant Grand Kleagle in the KKK and still be the "Conscience of the Senate," it does not quite support your Latin tag. Everyone knew his reputation and no one cared.

Let's not forget the "Lion of the Senate"; I'm sure that Mary Jo Kopechne's family remembers him.

Harry Reid has had some fancy dealings; Maxine Waters, Charlie Rangel, Nanski Peloski, all have no fear of their reputations.

Because if you have the Old Gray Lady refusing to report on prog iniquity, there is by definition no bad reputation. Because if it's not in the Legacy Media, it didn't happen.
 

P. J. O'Rourke

If you say a modern celebrity is an adulterer, a pervert and a drug addict, all it means is that you've read his autobiography.
 

Thank you Comrade for bringing to the attention of the huddled, drooling masses, to which I am a party, that we are neglecting our duties to the collective by not demanding we pay higher taxes. HIGHER TAXES NOW! The common good must prevail against the selfish greed of colonial materialism. Of course this should not apply to the ruling elite masters and Inner Party members who only need those material possessions in order to further the common good!
 

Have you heard of the place where you can pay MORE than others for what you get? $1600 for an iPad 2! Wonderful.

But for some reason Warren Buffett, although he advocates paying higher taxes, doesn't sign his name to a check for more money.

Now there's a prog to love. He WANTS to be forced to do the right thing. Along with other people. But he won't volunteer. This is called bottoming from the top.
 

And thus the Democratic Party was born...



 

Father Prog,

Comrade Warren Buffett is reputable citizen and the model for others to follow. He is the important ally, and if you can properly read between the lines, understand why he has decorations (classified) of the highest order. Bottom line, he does not need to pay more taxes than he does, he has already given valuable contributions to the party and USSA.
 

Comrades Rejoice:

This year I am thankful that my neighbors, who toil on the capitalist tread-wheel of personal initiative, have kept less of what they earned.

I am also thankful that Our Benevolent Leader has ensured that these venomous vipers will keep less and less of what they earn year after year until eventually they will be forced to see the wisdom of joining the One State collective.

And finally I am most thankful that I was an early adopter of the collectivist philosophy and have thus assured my place at the highest levels of the pyramid scheme.

Today is a day to rejoice! Raise a glass of champagne and spit on your neighbor!
 

Cheers to dat!

Also, your neighbors should be monitored. It is not enough to comply with the taxation, they have to embrace the spirit of change. Without dat our goal of One State collective will never be accomplished. So, we have to monitor our neighbors, and report any suspicious subversive attitudes, before they turn to actions. Beware bigots are in your backyards.
 

It's now 2017, and we're still praying.
 

Yes, we are praying Father Prog. Thank you always for your words of progdism™ (this is what you kapitalist pigs may call "wisdom", or what ever you thoughtcriminal idiots make out to be good thought). Long live Theocritus!