Russia election: Tearful Vladimir Putin declares victory

...but his historic win was overshadowed by widespread reports of vote-rigging and ballot fraud.


In an odd twist, during his acceptance speech, President for Life Putin quotes Dear Leader (PBUH), WORD FOR WORD...

"I promised you we would win, we won. Glory to Russia!"
His voice hoarse with emotion he added: "We showed that no one and nothing can tell us what to do. We were able to save ourselves from political provocations that have just one aim: to overturn the Russian state and usurp power. Such attempts will not succeed on our land. They won't succeed!"

However, within hours of polls opening, Twitter and other social media were flooded with reports of fraud and vote rigging. Golos, Russia's leading elections watchdog, said it received numerous reports of "carousel voting," a ploy used during the disputed parliamentary poll in December in which groups of people vote at several different polling stations using the same absentee ballots.

Dear Leader (PBUH) Obama briefly interrupted a golf game to direct Jay Carney to begin a feasability study immediately, and add that to the SEIU/ACORN procedures manual in the April printing.

Tovarichi - you make Putin cry!

[img]images/clipart/Prog_Off.gif[/img]

Behold, the tears of a crocodile.

( You see, Vladi boy...... Didn't I tell you those theatrical lessons would come in handy someday ? BTW : Nice job ! )

"...a ploy used during the disputed parliamentary poll in December in which groups of people vote at several different polling stations using the same absentee ballots."

Ah, Mickey Mouse, Adolf Hitler and the Dallas Cowboys are warming up for this November!

Fake tears, fake victory.

Assassination "attempt" a week before the election, suspected rigging, bomb threats at polling stations, and random attacks in Dagestan following Putin's "win." Not connected or anything, of course.