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Rev. Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton: Global Warming is Racist

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BALTIMORE, MD - Earlier today, Reverend Jesse Jackson and Reverend Al Sharpton took the podium in the middle of Martin Luther King Blvd. of Baltimore just a few blocks away from ground zero of the Baltimore riots. According to witnesses, there was a long silent pause as the pair scrutinized tattered survivors who were trickling from destroyed buildings and homes, with great columns of black smoke spewing in the background.

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"My brothers and sisters" Jackson started, his voice echoing solemnly in the ruined and nearly empty streets. "Our enemies are gathering against us. Our enemies are in our courts, our law enforcement, our local governments, our neighborhoods, and now even in the academia."

The crowd muttered approvingly as Rev. Jackson handed the microphone over to Rev. Sharpton.

"It has come to our attention that the institution of Global Warming, a phenomenon discovered by white scientists, is being used to further the agenda of racism through subliminal means. I've seen it in commercials and I've seen it in every documentary, in every news outlet. They are focusing on the lives of white polar bears while ignoring the desperate struggles of black bears, as if black bears' lives don't matter."

"Why are they so micro-focused on white bears?" an angry Jackson yelled into the microphone. "Why do they ignore the fight of black bears and instead stereotype them as picnic basket thieves and creatures that rummage through the trash of white homes in rural areas? It is to plant in the minds of our children that anything of a darker complexion is of lesser value!"

"Allow me to demonstrate," Rev. Sharpton beckoned up a little girl from the crowd onto the stage. He then opened a box at his feet and pulled out two plush toys: a polar bear and a black bear. "Now little girl, I want you to choose one of these," the reverend extended both bears towards the nervous child, but before she could make a choice, he snapped them away.

"I told you!" Sharpton yelled into the microphone.

Angry chatter rose over the crowd, mixed with the sound of a distant air raid siren - a new tactic that cities across the U.S. have implemented to protect citizens under the threat of frequent riots.

A moment later the Baltimore riots resumed almost as suddenly as they had ended, as citizens began to destroy what was left of their community and their own homes, raid their neighbors' apartments, burn public housing projects, and loot family-owned shops.

With fire and smoke quickly filling the streets, Rev. Sharpton and Rev. Jackson hurried off of the stage to escape the wrath of the rioters. The news crews that reported their speech weren't as lucky; some of them weren't quick enough to pack their equipment in time. Those who didn't make it to their vans were beaten and mugged of everything they had.

Global Warming proponents, who are white, were torn between their impulse to support the struggle of the disadvantaged minorities represented by Rev. Sharpton and Rev. Jackson, and the feeling of dismay at the ugly allegations of being racist, as they had no prior experience defending themselves from racist charges.

Mainstream media news outlets also seemed unsure how to respond as they filled their Twitter and Facebook pages with pointless and confusing comments, expressing their support for both the polar bears and the accusations of racism, and simultaneously denouncing global warming deniers and the Baltimore police department.

In the meantime, the city of Baltimore continued to burn.

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I need some of Putout's looted toilet paper to put in Smokey's upper-hand...

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[color=#C0392B]Konservative_Punk[/color] was so kind to think about me when he wrote:
I need some of Putout's looted toilet paper to put in Smokey's upper-hand...
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Comrade Putout wrote:
[color=#C0392B]Konservative_Punk[/color] was so kind to think about me when he wrote:
I need some of Putout's looted toilet paper to put in Smokey's upper-hand...
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Tovarisch Putout, your adjustment of the Smokey Bear poster is commendable but inkorrekt. Given theGlobal Warming® (warning, Global Warming® is the exclusive property of Leftist Propaganda Inc.) theme of this thread, Smokey should be allowed only one square per korrekt propaganda policy:


Liberalism 101 Lesson 16:

There is literally nothing that cannot be blamed on Global Warming® (warning, Global Warming® is the exclusive property of Leftist Propaganda Inc.)

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[color=#C0392B]Kommissar Uberdave[/color] was korrekt, polite, and uberfirm when he wrote:
Tovarisch Putout, your adjustment of the Smokey Bear poster is commendable but inkorrekt.
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[highlight=#ffff00](You need an avatar, sir! May I be of assistance? (Yes you may May!))[/highlight]

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Comrade Putout

Please do not use my image in your images!

Super Beet

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Comrade Putout wrote:
[color=#C0392B]Kommissar Uberdave[/color] was korrekt, polite, and uberfirm when he wrote:
Tovarisch Putout, your adjustment of the Smokey Bear poster is commendable but inkorrekt.
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only-you-can-prevent-race-riots-2.jpg
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[highlight=#ffff00](You need an avatar, sir! May I be of assistance? (Yes you may May!))[/highlight]
Yeah, Tovarisch Putout, I could use some help with avatar output...

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I was going to alter this poster with a hashtag #BlackBearsLivesMatter but then I thought it's perfect the way it is. I wish someone would print it out and post copies all over Baltimore. Here it is in larger size.

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Red Square wrote:I wish someone would print it out and post copies all over Baltimore.
Comrade Direktor, that seems to be their point. The good folks of Baltimore are doing their 'fair-share' ™ to bring down the juggernaut (aka: Amerikkka). We should all find ways to be asdestructive productive as our colored comrades there. The 'Madness' is just how they roll, and an added bonus for the sake of The Party™.

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GOOD NEWS! It would seem that once again the cube is coming to life, Al Sharpton has officially denounced global warming as racist!

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Chedoh wrote:GOOD NEWS! It would seem that once again the cube is coming to life, Al Sharpton has officially denounced global warming as racist!
Funny comrade, I was just going to recommend you for a new title: Prophet of Non-Profits, but I see that you have already liberated a more progressive title for yourself. Well done Prophet Chedoh, your insight serves you well. I didn't think that such Jedi mind tricks could work on race hustlers. Your skills are truly complete, your clairvoyance unmatched.


 
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