In my normal manner, I'm hereby expressing myself rhetorically and thereby counting on my underlings to understand my orders without the necessity of me actually giving them such orders. (It is, of course, the modern, Chicago version of the rhetorical device used by King Henry II to rid himself of threats to his goals posed by a "meddlesome priest.")

My loyal IRS underlings correctly understood my rhetorical flourish about the need to "punish our enemies and reward our friends" without the necessity of me overtly "ordering" them to do so. The latest outrageous conduct of Rush Limbaugh, who obviously wiretapped our White House strategy sessions and thereby devised his "Limbaugh Theorem," has made it necessary for me to again resort to a rhetorical flourish propounding the question of whether anyone can wiretap Limbaugh and seize all his email and telephone records.



Fortunately for us so far, virtually no LIV listens to Limbaugh because we've convinced them that he is the personification of evil and un-coolness, but we can never take it for granted that LIV's won't stumble upon propaganda he disseminates and mistakenly think what he does is to impart information we can otherwise count on our loyal allies in the traditional media to help us conceal from the LIVs.

--Fearless Leader

When I, Barack Obama, your Fearless Leader, rhetorically asked "Will no one rid me of this meddlesome Tea Party?" I had no idea how quickly and effectively my IRS Knights would oblige.

--Fearless Leader

Comrade Fearless Leader, it is truly a pity that the Court Jester, our dear Comrade Biden, was not there when this photograph was taken! He adds so much color to everything, but I understand that he has priorities and was probably out somewhere firing a couple of blasts into the air to help get rid of the Gun Problem that America is currently facing.

Heard on Faux News this morning regarding IRS goons lying to the Congressional Hearing about loooong and nasty delays approving TEA Party (Taxed Enough Already) 501 C4 tax exempt status-

Comrades, we simply cannot have the loyal 47% "low information voters" getting their eyes off the Free Stuff that comes only from having a Socialist government.

What can we offer FREE to keep the sheep in the pen?

I might suggest Free Tubal Ligation (far less unpleasant and nasty as abortion) to the "baby mommas". And perhaps pay $10,000 bonus on top of that. Or perhaps offer a supply of drugs from the stockpiles seized from the "baby daddies"- sort of like child support?

Re White House Meeting between President Obama and Colleen Kelley, President of the anti-tea-part/conservatives IRS Employees Union (NTEU -- National Treasury Employees Union) shortly before the IRS began targeting tea-parties/conservatives. Move along, there's noting to see here. The anti-tea-party President Obama says he did not have IRS-enforcement-policy discussions with that President of the anti-tea-party IRS employees union, Colleen Kelley. And in mutual corroboration, Colleen Kelley, President of the anti-tea-party/conservatives IRS employees union says she did not have IRS-enforcement-policy discussions with that anti-tea-party President of the United States, Barack Obama.

And both agree that Bill Clinton did not have sex with that woman, Monica Lewinsky. And both agree that the White House and the State Department only insisted on "one word" being changed in the CIA's original draft of the Benghazi "talking points" for Susan Rice, and that was to change "consolate" to "post." And both agreed the IRS will do an excellent job of investigating the sufficiency of all citizen's "health care" plans to guarantee that they conform to the requirements of ObamaCare and fulfill Obama's promise to each citizen that "If you like the health plan you now have, you can keep it [as long as it satisfies the IRS interpretation of what the national ObamaCare Board considers a plan that is best for you]."

Citizens! REJOICE that we are trusting our health, our lives and our liberty to the wise and tender mercies of the IRS.

--KOOK