Our Dear Leader and Great Leader of Russia Putin have declared a Great Food Fight against each other.

We have to start beeting the Russians in the food fight, following orders from Dear Leader. All food accessories will be provided by the collectives like our death cakes, but are not to be eaten. Sacrifices will be made for the greater good.

We must win a sweet victory or Our Dear Leader will food-kill us.

Day ____

We gathered our items for the fight. I am confident this will last a couple of days and our side will be victorious. Comrade Anyer brought his pies for the supplies. Comrade Craptek brought his nuts for ammo. Everyone is pitching in their foods for the cause. We have a newcomer, Comrade Glutton. He is a great guy. Some say he looks like a Hippo, but what do they know? Anyways, I will write tomorrow for an update. To Victory!!!

Comrade H&L,

I brought more than my nuts to this fight - Meet our SECRET WEAPON!

FLOTUS wearing melon on her melon.

My cucumber is biggerhttps://youtu.be/p9ZjOCSLYlc

I'm not sure what this means, but apparently Putin is testing a new secret cucumber launcher with which he will show the world how to question his power. Payback is a bitch!

In light of the new food fight threat, Russian army changes its insignia to fig leaves and cucumbers.

[img]/images/Putin_Food_Fight_General.jpg[/img]

[color=#C0392B]Captain Craptek[/color] crossed my [color=#C0392B]red line[/color] when he wrote:Comrade H&L,

I brought more than my nuts to this fight - Meet our SECRET WEAPON!

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Meet my SECRET INGREDIENT!
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Red Square wrote:In light of the new food fight threat, Russian army changes its insignia to fig leaves and cucumbers.

Figures. He may have the fig newtons, but we have the olive branch.......................................... No, it does not mean a preemptive surrender.

All volunteer or do we need to invoke conscription of America's Homemakers®?

Soviet Mike Komsomolets wrote:All volunteer or do we need to invoke conscription of America's Homemakers®?

All volunteer or death. Great that America's Homemakers® also will volunteer. See you at Turkey.

Day 2

It was quite a flight from USSA to Turkey. I did not have a picture of that plane since someone else has the people's camera. She was a beauty, but cramped sardine comfortably roomy inside. We conquered asphyxiation, cold, heat, and Comrad Puton's children pictures. [highlight=#c0c0c0]Last time I count was nearly one thousand.[/highlight]
Our mission was a secret mission to conquer Turkey for Turkish delight supplies. The Russians somehow knew where we were going and awaited us there. Anyer was prepared with the turkey pot pies. We captured some of those sugar boogers to use against the Russians, but the Russians based our buns before we ever got the rest of the supplies. We sent our turduckhen missiles, but they countered it with chemical warfare. Some of us got fried from the hot peanut oil. Our new Comrade Gobbler was one of the many victims. We sent our suicidal pumpkins, but they were no match for their zucchinis. We went out with our club sandwiches and countered with a roast. Comrade Glutton was catching the Russian food in his mouth, but we continue to remind him not to consume the food. Both the Russians and we had beets to use but the Russians got out the Borscht.

Not to worry, our Dear Leader knew Turkey was not that important so we were on canoes to Grease. We put Comrade Glutton in charge of our supplies, nothing he can do wrong there.

Who would've thought that Great World Depression II would be triggered by a dumbed down food fight version of Smoot-Hawleyesque economic tit-for-tat. Surely today's world leaders can be more pig headed than this! I miss the good old days when world crushing stupidity had lots of dash and class. Shame!

Don't underestimate our ingenuity, comrades. Remember that we have a varied arsenal of Pop-Tarts at our disposal and the will to shape them to whatever scary looking weapons we see fit.

Hit them with Deathcakes!™

Day 3

At Grease, we built a couple of cars, met the Fanzi, and got hairdos like it is the 50's. Our next stop is Hungry to meet the Russians. We got on our flying cars and drove into the skies of Hungry.

Well, they pelt us with Turkish delights, but thanks to Comrade RedDiaperett, we used our catapults to strike them with death cakes. Somehow we did not have our melons with us, but no matter, we have the nuts of Comrade Craptek to make up for it! Lots of food was flung as we skied down the slopes of the Alps.

We were victorious, but Comrade Anon E Mouse, the spy, send us word about the Russians plans to move northward to Sausage Country. We sent some of our volunteers to Italy for resupply, because of the stock ran out quickly after the battle was finished, don't know why. Comrade Glutton found a way to smell like melons, good for him.

Day 5

Sorry comrades for delay what happened in day four was horrible. We were not ready for the carnage, and somehow our supplies were few. We ran out of beets on and food on day four. They brought the bombers and dropped cabbages and bread upon us. We hoped to stop the advance, but we did not lose Sausage Country. Sausage Country lost us. The Russians got supplies from Swedan and dropped Swedish fish upon us.

We hoped for the arrival of our supplies at Hamburg, but at last, we did not have any. We end up using brats and beer. We took as much as we could and went to Belgium. We slowed the Russians with the Belgium Waffles, fries, chocolate and other supplies picked up via location.

Well, we stopped them at Champane. They seem to run out of supplies chasing us down. We seemed to get help from the country up north of the straight. They brought the haggas down onto the Russian side with fish heads. We uncorked the bubbly wine and showered them with the rotten fermented sweet grape juice. It was glorious. We still have our super secret weapon we have not yet used. Tons of food has been loaded onto this baby.


We are also taking care of our supply problem.

Day 6

Well comrades, the great war fight has ended. We dropped our super secret weapon, the buffet, upon the Russians. We were close to victory since the Russians ran out of supply, and our comrades brought more supplies up from Italy.

Sadly Rejoice that our Dear Leader was worried about our impending victory. He sent out the people's olive branch as a sign of surrendering. We cannot win, because that is capitalist ideology. We came, we fought, and we surrendered. Most Glorious indeed.

We do not need to worry about our fallen comrades since it will hamper our forward progression, but be known that Comrade Glutton now resides in a place called "Hungry Hungry Hippos".

We thank our volunteers for their contribution. Now go back to the beet fields.

Hammer and Loupe wrote:Day 6

Well comrades, the great war fight has ended. [highlight=#FFFF99]We dropped our super secret weapon, the buffet, upon the Russians.[/highlight] We were close to victory since the Russians ran out of supply, and our comrades brought more supplies up from Italy.

Sadly Rejoice that our Dear Leader was worried about our impending victory. He sent out the people's olive branch as a sign of surrendering. We cannot win, because that is capitalist ideology. We came, we fought, and we surrendered. Most Glorious indeed.

We do not need to worry about our fallen comrades since it will hamper our forward progression, but be known that Comrade Glutton now resides in a place called "Hungry Hungry Hippos".

We thank our volunteers for their contribution. Now go back to the beet fields.

Comrade H&L,

Can you be more specific,... like,...exactly where in Russia? And how long has it gone un-refrigerated, roughly - in hours? I'm not hungry or anything...just curious.

Captain Craptek wrote:
Comrade H&L,

Can you be more specific,... like,...exactly where in Russia? And how long has it gone un-refrigerated, roughly - in hours? I'm not hungry or anything...just curious.

Putingrad, Comrade Crapteck, and as long as it was on the plane. Don't worry, we kept the food in all of our buffet servers and warmers. Speaking of which, we might not have buffet Saturdays for a while until we find replacements.