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RutherfordGate and other Obama's Amazing Stories

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A new one from Zombie:

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By now you've probably already heard about RutherfordGate — in which President Obama thoughtlessly repeated a bogus quote falsely attributed to President Rutherford B. Hayes in order to slander his opponents and (almost as an afterthought) Hayes himself:

“One of my predecessors, President Rutherford B. Hayes, reportedly said about the telephone: ‘It's a great invention but who would ever want to use one?'” Obama said. “That's why he's not on Mt. Rushmore.”
A quick bit of fact-checking uncovered that the quote — as has been long known to anyone with a passing knowledge of history — is just an urban legend.

But this is not the first time Obama has done this. In recent months, he's been citing all sorts of fabricated quotes attributed to his presidential predecessors, and then mocking their obvious inferiority to his visionary self. Here are just a few examples overlooked by the media:

January 13, Toledo, Ohio:

“When Bill Clinton first surfed the Internet, he said, ‘Golly, this'll never be good for anything but porn and cyber-stalking,'” Obama announced. “That's why he's now nothing but a disgraced, impeached sex addict in a sham marriage to the worst Secretary of State in history.”
January 24, Panama City, Florida:

“When Harry Truman first learned about the atom bomb, he thought it was a ‘senseless waste of uranium' and tried to ship a couple to the Emperor of Japan as novelty gifts,” Obama said. “If they hadn't fallen out of the plane, Japan would still be our ally today.”
February 3, Burbank, California:

“When FDR was shown his first television, he deemed it ‘The Devil's Toolbox' and smashed it up with a sledgehammer, accidentally injuring his leg in the process,” Obama said. “He was confined to a wheelchair for the rest of his life, and is now known as an elitist 1%er who bankrupted America with a Ponzi Scheme known as Social Security.”
February 17, Baltimore, Maryland:

“When Abraham Lincoln was shown the Gatling Gun, he laughed and said ‘Why would anyone want to shoot more than one bullet at a time?'” Obama scoffed. “That's why he isn't on Mount Rushmore.” [Aide hurriedly whispers in Obama's ear.] “Oh, he is? Well, then, that's why we're going to replace his ugly face with my classic profile.”
February 28, San Antonio, Texas:

“When Thomas Jefferson first learned of the steam-powered locomotive, he insisted that ‘Nothing will ever replace the horse as mankind's primary mode of transportation,'” Obama claimed. “That's because he was a slave-owning rapist who declared an imperialist war on our Muslim brothers. More than any single person he is responsible for developing the supremacist philosophy underpinning this racist Amerikkka, and I have ordered all his portraits removed from the White House.”


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December 13, Springfield:

"When George Washington was a little boy, his father gave him an axe for his birthday and he used it to chop down his father's favorite algae biofuel tree. And when his father saw this, he called little George over to him and said, "Who chopped down my cronies' biofuel tree?" And little George replied, "Father, I cannot tell a lie. George Bush did it!"

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March 4, Chicago, Illinois

"In 1867 when William Seward told president Andrew Johnson that he could buy Alaska from Russia for about 2 cents an acre and Johnson saw the opportunity as a chance to increase America's capitalist riches such as furs, gold and lumber," Obama said, "2 cent an acer? You have to be kidding me Andy. Man, those Ruskies really cut you a new one!"


 
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