Comrades, with the likelihood of a mass shooting in a neighborhood mall near you increasing every day, isn't it time you did your part to make your local mall a Gun Free Zone?

Yes, making your local mall a safer place for everyone can be a rewarding experience, and you'll have the full support of the federal government, too!

Join today in helping make the USSA safer - make your mall a Gun Free Zone!

I was pleased to see that my new place of employment has photos everywhere saying, "No Contraband Allowed"...with a picture of a hypodermic syringe, a gun, and a bottle of booze. But I did think the message seemed kind of redundant. Gun Free zone sounds so much better.

But regardless, the patients and families with whom I work can rest assured that no criminals would ever think of bringing in a gun, and that if a mass shooter arrives to do his evil deed, he will of course have to drop his weapons at these non-guarded entrances and proceed using only spit balls and miming.

Miming.

*shudder*

We also need Mime Free Zones.

When mimes are outlawed, only outlaws will mime, no?

[img]/images/Obama_Mime_Musing.png[/img]

R.O.C.K. in the USSA wrote:Comrades, with the likelihood of a mass shooting in a neighborhood mall near you increasing every day, isn't it time you did your part to make your local mall a Gun Free Zone?
Yes, making your local mall a safer place for everyone can be a rewarding experience, and you'll have the full support of the federal government, too!
Join today in helping make the USSA safer - make your mall a Gun Free Zone!

Comrade, I am completely on board! After all, recent events have proven that simply declaring an area a gun free zone will cause deranged psychopaths to turn around and leave. Perhaps we could extend this policy to the Middle East?? Gun and Suicide-Bomb Free Zones?

Komrade Krystyna, I actually saw people on Twitter today referring to the Nairobi Westgate Mall slaughter as "gun violence" and begging the world to stop it.

Sadly, they were serious. As serious as room temperature IQ LIVs can be.

Comrade R.O.C.K. -- it seems the 150 character or less wishes of the LIV masses has had an effect!!! Al Shabab, Al-Qaeda, Al-Nusra, et. al(lah) have declared they will no longer use guns in future attacksdemonstrations and will instead stick with C-4.

Plus, we don't want to forget the ever-popular beheading knives! (or swords)

Whoa! That makes Rambo's and Crocodile Dundee's knives look like the useless little plastic ones that you use with a spork.