Krasnodar, a few thoughts about taking words. First, it's a bad idea because the words cost nothing and mean very little. Only tax things which are important, such as, oh, cars, energy, real work. Taxing something of little value means little because we people don't actually need all the verbosity.

And second, words mean little which means we have to use a LOT of them to lie well enough. Peasants in North Korea--the ones who are not ex-peasants--have speakers in their houses which would announce that Dear Leader hit four holes-in-one while playing golf, and his biography said he never peed or pooped. And they are reminded of that 24/7.

We lie, spin, lie some more, spin about it, and then utterly traduce the very meaning of words, because--all together now--reality is what we pull out our asses.

So we have to praise it to the skies, and use a lot of words.

Taxing our words would be cutting our throats.

Whereas, some words should not only be taxed, but eliminated. I am currently raising a new crops of Nano Jimmy Carter Rabbits to do to Rush Limbaugh in Florida what Trotsky had happen to him in Mexico City.

Rush, you hear that? No! You don't have your aids on! You sorry fat bastard! You're...you're...you're...

You're the ray of light that shows the pigsty! There will be an ice-ax in your head tomorrow morning, you fat, reich-wing bastard.

Father Prog Theocritus wrote:Redumdimski, I have found a new, and cheap source for your Porta-J-Lo™.

Now I know that you, as a rising prog, are keen to have a fancier Porta-J-Lo™ but trust me: these are reasonable enough that you can keep one by your bed, one by your recliner, and one in your car.

They are also useful when you are watching or listening while driving to news, and hear our Many Titted Empress or Dear O'Leader dilate on what is best for us, because, all together now, they're the smartest people on earth. Sometimes I am so overcome with the rapture of the beauty and elegance in their words, especially if they're bookended by reports of violence and famine in foreign lands or a slumping economy at home, I cannot control the contents of my stomach and this Porta-J-Lo™ is the perfect accompaniment to an emetic.

Father Theo, indeed that handy PortaPuke-tainer is valuable to keep anywhere one is followed by the media hounds of hell People's Information Services!

But wouldn't that indicate that the PIS reports are the source of this particular brand of JiffyLobo™ you noted?

Oh no! Theo, tell me it isn't so - if others learn of this, it could hamper sales of Jiffy-Lobo™s across the Kollektiv! Cubers will stock up on the PPs and merely listen to the PIS for the same effect!

Father Prog Theocritus wrote:I am currently raising a new crops of Nano Jimmy Carter Rabbits to do to Rush Limbaugh in Florida what Trotsky had happen to him in Mexico City.

Rush, you hear that? No! You don't have your aids on! You sorry fat bastard! You're...you're...you're...

You're the ray of light that shows the pigsty! There will be an ice-ax in your head tomorrow morning, you fat, reich-wing bastard.

And STAY AS FAR FROM R.L. (he whose name must not be mentioned) as possible! What are you trying to do to yourself? Are you trying to get ideas? Are you trying to think? Or even (ugh) lucubrate? Do not subject yourself to the horror, the blasphemy, or it's back to drinking from the well of the PIS for you!

Dear Comrades,


Please forgive me for not showing up for the New Year's festivities yesterday, as promised. I was a bit under the weather (it's 25ª F. here, with snowy wind!) and I had a tummy ache. Really.


My deepest gratitude goes to dear Redumdi for his gracious hosting of this post on my behalf. Such "thoughtful" ramblings by all are a joy to behold!


Such a great honor, as well, was Commodore Snoogie Woogums' most welcome reminder of our Cube Manners. I was quite touched by that. Sniff, sniff.


I see that you have taken our rantings to a whole new level by suggesting we redistribute the words of our more garrulous comrades to those less proficient. I mean, it's only fair to endow those of us who are not as verbose with the illusion that we actually have something to say.


I, for one, could benefit greatly from this. The copy-and-paste possibilities are endless! Soon everyone will possess masterful rhetorical skills that produce gems like: "They may not have a message, but they have a statement." – Nanski Peloski. A brilliant way to mask the dumbing down accomplishments in our educational institutions! Icing on the cake!


Taxing words is also a brilliant idea. Sounds like a win, win, win any way you cut it!


Another way to harness this "too many words" thing could be to simply shorten the alphabet to say,10 letters? This would be a way of getting the camel's nose back into the tent regarding the decimal system AND facilitate our lurch toward being just like Europe! Fabulous!


Let Comrade Dan explain:

Pamalinsky wrote:Dear Comrades,


Please forgive me for not showing up for the New Year's festivities yesterday, as promised. I was a bit under the weather (it's 25ª F. here, with snowy wind!) and I had a tummy ache. Really.


My deepest gratitude goes to dear Redumdi for his gracious hosting of this post on my behalf. Such "thoughtful" ramblings by all are a joy to behold!


Such a great honor, as well, was Commodore Snoogie Woogums' most welcome reminder of our Cube Manners. I was quite touched by that. Sniff, sniff.

Pamalinsky, I thank you for your graciousness in allowing my forthrightness forthleftness to assume protocol duties to welcome the good Commodore on board your thread. With you indisposed, and since I had served in the People's Navy, I saw the pleasure of the duty fell to me.

Welcome back to the Kollektiv embrace after your brief respite. I trust you are well on the mend and the Siberian-like cold of your locale is endurable and not a hindrance to advancing the Current Truth™ of Anthropogenic Global Warming™. No doubt the Goracle has, as always, a brilliant barrage of Gorxpletives to assist in warming your days and convincing you that it's almost tropical. (Uh-oh… Such statements didn't convince you to go out without your ushanka and Пальто, I trust!)

RDD, the next rampart to assault is the reich-wing ReThugliKKKan Rancid Limburger. Who does that bastard think he is, not to fall in with the Party Line™? Everything for the state, nothing outside the state. Dear Benito said that one and he was so right. Benito Mussolini, not Obama or Juarez. Mussolini. Although would be forgiven for think it was Obamalini.

Here's the point: what people don't know WILL hurt them, and it's up to us to make sure it's so. Sure that they don't know what will hurt them and how it will hurt them, and also what we can do to keep them ignorant about how we'll hurt them.

Theo, your brilliant point caused a ballad to the people to flow from my fingers, expressing a few of the myriad of Prog feelings and desires I have for them. Its title is, appropriately: How shall I hurt you?

How shall I hurt you? Let me count the ways –
I'll hurt you to the depth and breadth and height my dictates reach.
I'll hurt you with regulations and drown you in red tape.
I'll enslave you with entitlement programs you come to depend on so you will need me forever.
I'll divide you into classes with divisive rhetoric that I'll call diversity and beat envy into you with repetition until every group hates every other group.
I'll define the language and tell you what you can and can't say.
I'll dumb you down and discourage discourse and thought.
I'll determine what you are to believe and who you will listen to.
I'll control what you read, what you see, and what you hear.
I'll decide what and how much you may eat, where and when you must labor, how much health care you are allotted should you be allotted health care, what you will drive, if you are permitted to drive, where you will live, and what you will live in.
I'll determine how much everything is to cost, for I control the markets.
I'll levy taxes and make wealth accumulation impossible for I own all wealth, and I will confiscate all property for all of it is mine. The abolition of property rights for the little people is inevitable, since your rights end where my greed begins.
You will bring the fruits of your labors to me, for my greed requires all from you.
You will have nothing unless I permit it. And then I may take it back if I wish.
And all the while I'll make sure you know I am your salvation, your protection, your safety. You owe your health, your wealth, your life to me. But I owe you nothing.
I will not allow dissent. I will punish and kill you if you dare oppose me.
You will love me, for even though I hate you, I will tell you that I love you, and my need for love demands love from you.
I will possess you, your children, and your children's children, for all eternity, world without end.
I am your all, for I am all. Your god, for I require worship.
Your only liberties are to serve me, live for me, and if I so command, die for me.

It is an ode that is not to be shared with the non-Elite, even though it is directed at them. For as you mentioned, what they don't know will hurt them. And we decide what they need to know. Our media dogs get the brief of required talking points every day.

Our people. Our property. As Khan (not Genghis) might descry: We've done far worse than kill them, Theo. We've hurt them. We wish to go on – hurting – them.

That is not negotiable, and for us, it is pleasurable.

We will not speak it but to ourselves, but to my fellow Progs I say, with the same urgency Kyle used when explaining the T-800 to Sarah: Listen, and understand. We Progressives are in power. We can't be bargained with. We can't be reasoned with. We don't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And we absolutely will not stop. Ever. Until it's all ours.

And even then, we will want more.

I know this little functional statement is not sufficiently vicious, and therefore excessively mild, but it's a work in progress.

Went back into Cube History™ to view my post again, Sammy Davis Jr. Says It All About Dear Leader. 10/27/2010

I was truly astounded by the care and wherewithal displayed by my Comrades! I know there are many other Cubists (an art form) who display this as well.

I never realized what a catalyst one post could be. If you wish, view it again, or not. I am very proud of it and my Cubist Comrades!

RDD, I came across your ballad above and I compliment you. You really are a proper shit, aren't you? I quite approve. Never be a half-assed shit; always be a full-on, balls-to-wall, pedal-to-the-metal, balls-deep shit.

If you ever feel lacking in inspiration, think Senator Schumer. After he retires, or is called to that Gulag in the Sky, we will retire calling people shits, just as baseball teams retire some numbers.

Because no one could ever be a bigger shit than Chuck Schumer.

Thank you, Dear Father Prog Theocritus!

Thank you for responding to my re-post of this thread. I didn't mean to bring attention to myself. I just wanted to acknowledge the acumen of my fellow Cubists!

After doing so, I dreaded any replies. Did I overreach?

Oh, I forgot to mention several months ago, after you said you know Comrade Tovarich, and are friends, that this was most happy news to me! Talk about getting two birds with one stone!

We both love you Father Prog Theo!

Or getting stoned with two birds.

Pamalinsky wrote:Thank you for responding to my re-post of this thread. I didn't mean to bring attention to myself.

Dear Pam, I do so understand. But this is in camera. We are meant to seem to be shy and self-effacing, unless we're 200-proof prize shits like Schumer, and I love him for that, but always peering through our woven fingers to see what's happening, testing the air.

And when we can see the mob moving in one direction, we adroitly run ahead of it and say we're leading it.

And that we started it.

Don't be shy here, dear Pam. Be All the Shit You Can Be™.

Krasnodar wrote:Or getting stoned with two birds.

Ha! Good one, Kraz! As per your usual.

Father Prog Theocritus wrote: Don't be shy here, dear Pam. Be All the Shit You Can Be™.

I'm workin' on it Father Prog Theo! Damn! I'm workin' on it!

Nuthin' gets me goin' like the words "Be All the Shit You Can Be!"

At least by doing so, and following their (Schumer and Blabbermouth) lead, my life can finally MEAN something!

That's all I care about! Me first!

"Be all the shit you can be! In the People's Army!"

We have such excellent examples in Rattus Rattus Schumer and Debbie Blabbermouth Schulz. And Dingy Harry. What about Nanski Peloski? She's proof that you CAN polish a turd.

Patrick Leahy.
Mole Rat. Patrick Leahy has taken advantage of the Congressional dental plan, which will be Obamadental. Only $5T a year; after all, if we're dealing with teeth, we need to make sure that there is nothing in the food which can chip a tooth. This means of course that every single family garden will need to hire an FDA food inspector, as will every farmers' market. Every single window-box herbal gardener will need his own FDA inspector to grade the basil and rosemary.

You might chip a tooth.

I wish that I could say that Dear O'Leader is the one to come up with this, but it was Mr. Clinton, after some experiences in 1998.

Gosh, Theo,

I try so hard to "fit in," I mean I put my darling kitty up for grabs to see how much money I could get for her, per grab. I got zip! Nobody gives a rip about kitties anymore! What am I to do? Oh, and, I really "Care,™" just like our dear Auntie Semitic whose lifetime call was, since the day she was born, "I care!"

Your two examples given me are way above my pay grade (to quote Our Dear Leader), what with being a Prog, and all.

I wonder if some of our graphics artist are interested in "Being all the shit you can be!"

I rather think not.

As you well know, Father Prog, as soon as you mention it, it's a done deal! Watch what happens!