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Save the Planet! Stop breathing!

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Our comrades at WBGU have informed us that if we don't stop emitting Carbon Dioxide by 2020, we'll be dead.

By contrast, the WBGU study says the United States must cut emissions100 percent by 2020—i.e., quit carbon entirely within ten years.Germany, Italy and other industrial nations must do the same by 2025 to2030. China only has until 2035, and the world as a whole must be carbon-free by 2050. The study adds that big polluters can delay their day of reckoning by "buying" emissions rights from developing countries, a step the study estimates would extend some countries' deadlines by a decade or so.

You heard the Comrades, who are of course correct. Amerikkka must stop emitting carbon by 2020. Since humans emit carbon by breathing, we must kill every human in Amerikkka by then so they'll stop breathing. Then we in the Party can hold our breath forever. We had better be careful to bury the bodies deeply, though. Decomposition gives off carbon emissions.


Image I wonder if it has ever occurred to these "scientists" that:

A. Humans emit carbon dioxide when breathing.
B. So do all other animals.
C. Plants need carbon dioxide to live.
D. Evidence suggests that the planet is actually getting cooler.

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Yes! As the Self-Flagelent, let me be the first to stop exhaling. (inhales) huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu......

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Investors.com wrote:Clearly, Arctic sea ice is not following the consensus touted by Gore and the warm-mongers.
Comrades, I had to laugh out loud at such a gloriously clever term for us earth-conscious progs: "WARM-MONGERS" ...brilliant!!! Almost hit myself over the head with my shovel for not thinking of it first.

Let me be the first to adopt this terminology before someone else beats me to the stick.

Warm mongers! Warm mongers! Warm mongers! Warm mongers! Warm mongers!

See, I didn't coin the term but I've already been using it longer than anyone else!

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Greetings comrades from the sunken socialist utopia or Ry'leh. Ahh, its good to see the that the world is catching up to me.

I have been advocating the eradication of you anti-enviromentalist scum for millenia.

If I might make a sugestion, all true progs should make their way down to Ry'leh as soon as the sluaghter has been completed, since when your all down here the hundreds of thoughsands of tons of water will keep you from breathing.

Also all bodies should be dumped in the ocean as soon as possible, that way their decaying bodies can make one final contribution to the people's algea which produce over 70% of the world oxygen. That way we can get down to the bussiness of rebuilding the planet that you overglorified apes have ruined.

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Comrades,

We must kill all the forests, too, and all plants! They are producing way too much methane gas.

Read here: https://www.guardian.co.uk/science/2006/jan/12/environment.climatechange<br>

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Now I'm all confused. Before I kill myself, should I take down a few trees and flatulent beasts along with me? Or will new evidence suggest I should live another several decades for yet undiscovered greenhouse gases which my body may be absorbing? That way I could take advantage of Obamacare and the Public OptionTM... but I digress.

My explosive belt pack is hanging up in the KrispyKave, to be used upon directive from the PartyTM. I was hoping to use it for a glorious Jihad, but if I have to head for the tropical rainforest for the Greater GoodTM, who am I to argue?

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Human, industry, animals now even the plants conspire to destroy the earth! dang it people, global appocalypse is my job! listen there is only one solution to all of this, there is only one way to preserve the earth till its final hour comes, the time for descusion of over, the time to act is now!

We must flood the earth comrades! only by totally submerging the earth in water can we garuntee that all plants, animals humans and industries stop creating green house gasses.

All loyal comrades of the party should make there way north or south to any source of frozen liquids and melt them by any means available. We must flood the earth inorder to prevent the polar ice caps from melting and flooding the earth!

on a side note anyone who believes the solution I just suggested is self contradictory is a thoughtcriminal and an enemy of the party.

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commissar Cthulhu wrote: All loyal comrades of the party should make there way north or south to any source of frozen liquids and melt them by any means available. We must flood the earth inorder to precent the polar ice caps from melting and flooding the earth!

An excellent suggestion, Comrade. I believe that Comrade Gore is currently working on that.

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Ah such a progressive individual always ahead of his time, first to see the potential of the internet, first to spear head the fight against climate change and now the first to do away with you surface dwellers. Is there anything that man can't do? besides getting a real job?


 
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