Camera-shy senator Chuck "The Civics Professor*" Schumer has uncovered a dastardly plot crafted by manufacturers of laundry and dishwasher detergent to increase the amount of eeeevil profits they rip from the unprotected wallets of the masses:

At a Sunday press conference calling for stricter rules on concentrated laundry detergent pod packaging that some children have mistaken for candy, New York Democratic Sen. Charles Schumer admitted that even he has felt drawn to down a few detergent pods himself.

“These pods were supposed to make household chores easier, not tempt our children to swallow harmful chemicals. I saw one on my staffer's desk and I wanted to eat it.”

The New York senator ...added, “I don't know why they make them look so delicious”....

https://dailycaller.com/2012/09/10/schumer-tempted-to-eat-delicious-laundry-detergent/

Senator, you as well as we know damn well why they make them look so deliciious; so the helpless consumer will eat them and become addicted to them and buy trillions and gazillions of them, filling the coffers of these evil companies who will distribute some of the profits to Mitt Romney who will use the money to fire steel workers and kill their wives with cancer which will allow the evil corporations to use the rest of these ill-gotten gains to pay dividends to their evil stockholders so that the evil stockholders will buy government bonds with their dividends instead of spending it and thus make the economy and genius president Barack Obama look bad. Yes, this scheme is, at its root, a raaaaaacist plot, full of racism.

The senator, a self-deprecating, introspective fellow who likes to avoid the limelight and seeks to avoid being the center of attention, is also likely aware that this fiendish plot has been going on for years and a number of other manufacturers of so-called "household products" have conspired along with the detergent manufacturers to rip off the consumer to fuel their racist agenda. (Yes, these greedy corporate one-percenters anticipated long ago that one day Barack Obama would be president and so they started working on their evil plot well ahead of time, hoping we would not notice the racist intent inherent in their scheme, but as you can see, nothing gets past the Party and Senator Schumer.)

For example, urinal cakes.... they're not really cakes, are they? Why are they called "cakes" then? Perhaps so that some unsuspecting non-racist individual will be hungry for a snack one day and have to use the urinal first and say to himself, "Hey, I'm in the mood for some cake and there's a free urinal cake right here, waiting to be eaten..."

I've got another one for you... bars of soap. Why are they called "bars"? Could it be to fool the unsuspecting illegal alien undocumented Democrat into thinking they're like Hershey bars only much cheaper so maybe let's buy some and hand them out on Halloween? Have you ever tasted a bar of soap? It does kinda taste like really cheap chocolate. You did that purposely, didn't you, soap manufacturers? Get people to buy bars of soap and make them think they're candy so they get addicted to them and then you can take all their money and give it to your stockholders so the consumer will have no money left to donate to Barack Obama's campaign and Michelle will have to email them, begging them to give up dinner and contribute the cost of their pizza to the campaign....

actual campaign email wrote: I know your life is full -- with work, or school, or family -- and yet you still find the time to help out when you can.

You may have a tight budget, but you give what you can afford.

A woman recently told the campaign her family skipped a pizza dinner at their favorite place so that they could make a difference in this election.

That is the commitment that drives this campaign.

If you can support Barack with a donation today, please know it makes a huge difference. If we win, it will be because of what you did at moments like this....

Thanks,

Michelle

This is proof: the household products manufacturers are not only racist, they want people to starve.

Thank you Senator Schumer for violating you long-standing principles of shunning publicity to bring this evil to our attention.

*Schumer believes the three branches of government are the presidency, the senate and the house. Any idiot knows they are the father, the son and the holy ghost.

Why doesn't Chuck Schumer launch a magazine titled "Conschumer Reports"?

Red Square wrote:Why doesn't Chuck Schumer launch a magazine titled "Conschumer Reports"?

I am informed he was afraid it would look so delicious, he might be tempted to eat it.

Obama in Himmel!

Does not Herr Schumer understand?

IT IS ALL ABOUT CHARLES DARWIN'S SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST!!!

It is the Progressive way to rid the planet of those whom we would like to have a little less of... Ask ole Ruthie Ginsberg!

*Schumer believes the three branches of government are the presidency, the senate and the house. Any idiot knows they are the father, the son and the holy ghost."
That may have been true before Bam-Bam, but it is obvious that today the three branches of government are Bam-Bam, his czars, and Michelle.

Well, this is just brilliant!

As per Red Square's suggestion of Chuck U. starting a magazine called "Conschumer Report", He can qualify the integrity of his concerns with this:

New York Democratic Sen. Charles Schumer admitted that even he has felt drawn to down a few detergent pods himself.

Such honesty in scientific testing is sure to win the allegiance of the well-informed "soccer moms".

This revolutionary discovery will surely net Schumer the Nobel Prize in Chemistry !

Krasnodar wrote:This revolutionary discovery will surely net Schumer the Nobel Prize in Chemistry !

SSSSSH! [Obama is going to win that.]