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Secretary of Defense rules on new inoffensive Marine uniform

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Comrades,

As any patriot who spent his weekend taking down the star-spangled banner and replacing it with a white flag of hope-change-and-truce, posting gun-free zones throughout the house, and embracing the latest offerings of Peace to Iran, I just couldn't live with myself knowing that somewhere in our free society, some poor innocent may suffer unspeakable torture at the sight of Marine recruiters in crisply pressed uniforms plying their evil trade.

Something had to be done about that, and the recent shooting in Chattanooga was just the ticket. Now, George Bush would have responded to this "terror" threat with racial profiling, but that would have only given the oppressed Muslim comrades a justification for harboring more terroristic thoughts. Luckily, our glorious Dear Leader Obama knows better. His Secretary of Defense, Mr. Ash Carter, wrote an illustrious memo that would be a testament to the leadership of our armed forces and would win the hearts and minds of the brightest Hollywood stars.

He ruled that Marine recruiters will no longer wear that evil military uniform until a new design and continue their valiant efforts not to offend anyone by possessing firearms.

With so much negative and hostile imagery being produced, Americans are liable to believe that every Muslim person who shoots and kills military personnel is a misunderstood victim himself. Why, given the right set of circumstances, any of us could open fire on men and women in uniform.

Remember, it's not an Islamic thing. It is just something that makes us all different, and embracing our differences is what the glorious world of Next Tuesday is all about.

Therefore I am embracing the white flag of truth-and-peace-in-our-time!

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Comrade trashmouth,

I emailed a suggestion to Dear Leader and guess what? Problem solved!






Defense Secretary Ash Carter approved immediate steps taken by the military branches to increase security and has told the services to switch to Craptek's latest military outfit for the progressive era - "The new Iranian LGBT recruiter's uniform", spokesman Peter Cook said in a statement on Friday.

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I laughed when I read this, but on a seriius note even us old retired Marines would fight to the death. Semper Fi to my fallen brothers

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Captain Craptek wrote:
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Comrade trashmouth,

I emailed a suggestion to Dear Leader and guess what? Problem solved!

Defense Secretary Ash Cater approved immediate steps taken by the military branches to increase security and has told the services to switch to Craptek's latest military outfit for the progressive era - "The new Iranian LGBT recruiter's uniform", spokesman Peter Cook said in a statement on Friday.
OMG Craptek! The new outfit is absolutely FABULOUS! I just love it!

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OksanaTheTerrible wrote:I laughed when I read this, but on a seriius note even us old retired Marines would fight to the death. Semper Fi to my fallen brothers
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Dearest OksanaTheTerrible, (AKA TheBitchFromHell),

I come from a military family, many heroes I know grace us all with their courage, many of them in their early twenties. One of them was my father who was blown to smithereens by a land mine.

This happened a week, to the day, before I was born. My stepfather was also a hero who was shot down over Singapore. What they went through the next 10 months in the jungle was amazing. It is chronicled in a Chicago Tribune series 1945. What is amazing to me is that there are actual quotes from my stepfather, and other participants in this event that make it more real. It would make a stunning movie, and, an inspiring one. And, I know there are so many others.

From one BitchFromHell to Another: Semper Fi!


 
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