Image

Senator Feinstein Vows to Outlaw Pleasure

User avatar
DianeFeinstein.jpg

Dateline Washington DC -

Today in the nation's capital Democrat Senator Diane Feinstein vowed to outlaw pleasure once and for all, starting with Assault Weapons.

"Assault weapons are 'personal pleasure(s)' that should not take precedence over the good of the nation," Feinstein stated, as she repeatedly and gently caressed with her fingertip one of the flies left in the chamber of the United States Senate when President Barackzebub Hussein Obama recently spoke there.

AssaultWeaponPleasures.jpg

"And that's just a start on your personal pleasures," the senator added. "For all of you who are sooooooo worried about your precious Second Amendment, next in line will be the First Amendment, because I intend to crack down on the internet! No one needs to have unregulated assault access to the internet. Your so-called 'First Amendment rights' are also nothing more than personal pleasures, which the government gave you just like the Second Amendment - and what we give, we can take away!"

InternetPleasures.jpg

Senator Feinstein paused to wipe a bit of froth from her lips after she noticed the repeated wincing of the reporters in front of her, which was followed in each case by repeated wiping of their faces with various handkerchiefs and napkins.

"All your interwebs are belong to us! And so are your assault weapons!" the senator roared as she climbed on a broom and swooped around the Senate chamber, before exiting through an open window.

As shocked journalists watched out the window, Senator Feinstein was visible only as a tiny dot in the afternoon sky, with smoke trailing behind her spelling out the words "SURRENDER FREEDOM!"

User avatar
Do not worry Comrade ROCK, Madam Comrade Feinstein has the matter of restricting assault radios well in hand. Behold her statist views on the appropriately named Fairness doctrine, which she advocates that your right to discuss politics openly should not take precedence over the good of making sure Democrats are elected to power.

Feinstein.jpg

Take note of how she uses familiar phraseology "Most people don't know what's in the Bill." Just like her home state hero Nancy Jagger-Pelosi said about the Abjectionable Affable Care Act.

User avatar
It's a damn shame when you come up with the nuttiest crap you can to parody reality, but it's not as far out there as the reality seems to be any more.

PS: If you need me I will be out at the beach looking for those three chicks - just taking them a bottle of Hoppes to prevent barrel rust.

User avatar
I doubt their barrels have much time to rust, comrade.

User avatar
Hoppes9Perfume.jpg
Comrade DeKoquonut, I have long believed that the very best perfume on a beautiful woman's body is a tiny dab of Hoppe's #9 behind each ear... and possibly elsewhere...

User avatar
Attaboy DeKoquonut, preventive maintentance!

Just remember to run your cleaning rod from the breech toward the muzzle...


User avatar
biden3.PNG
No need to feel lucky, Comrade - I just go out on the balcony once or twice a day and fire off a couple of blasts from my double barreled shotgun :O

But my - you ARE looking fetching in your black "gear", Comrade Putout!

User avatar
I had a feeling concealed carry might be tricky for our Comrade Putout.

concealed-carry.jpg

No doubt pleasures will be restricted to those capable of handling them, just as firearms shall be. Proles are not capable of understanding the nuances of either and should be banned from having them, while the progressive elite are able and fit to do so.
Remember that while a progressive is going to be against gun ownership this does not stop him (or her) from having one.


User avatar
Of course comrades, one could say a look at Senator Feinstein's visage and all thoughts of pleasure vanish like a bad bowl of borscht down the drain, but I will leave that unsaid.


Senator Feinstein is the current purveyor of the ‘Assault Weapon' scam, is she not?

Will she soon be gracing us with a ‘Hate Speech' swindle to eviscerate the First Amendment to go along with her ‘assault' on the second?

User avatar
We can only hope, Comrade Sterpin - as Comrade Rikalonius pointed out above, she IS all about Fairness, as any good Ruling Prog should be.

User avatar
Well comrades, I think the only "assault" weapons out there today are used by the photogs that take pictures for money. Just look at this shot of the good senator enjoying a rare moment of peace at her home yelling at her neighbor and drinking an elite brew......

OFFENSIVE IMAGE REMOVED by Red Square


User avatar
I must follow up with the reason for the "ruckus" at the good senators home. The neighbor in question was heard making fun of her love-child-offspring that they keep locked away in their attic. The swine went and posted its picture on the interwebs and she was just lil bit frothing-at-the-mouth pissed off about it! Image It is nobody's bussiness if the senator has a drunken sex-party with a monkey or two! After all, who has NOT had a pleasurable night drinking and woken up the next morning to regret......something?

Between the R.O.C.K. and the hardspys there's a new national motto. E Pluribus Uglum. Death no longer has much sting.

User avatar
DeKoquonut wrote:It's a damn shame when you come up with the nuttiest crap you can to parody reality, but it's not as far out there as the reality seems to be any more.

PS: If you need me I will be out at the beach looking for those three chicks - just taking them a bottle of Hoppes to prevent barrel rust.
Nyet, nyet, Toavarisch! Not to use Hoppe's No. 9 for such purpose. That only for removing fouling from barrel after long session of shooting DHS-supplied ammunition in Homeland Security Personal Defense M-16A4 rifle! Hoppe's No. 9 also leaves the bad smell of rotten fish in underwear after use. Much better to use FP-10 or MPro 7 LPX. Both far superior for purposes of personal lubrication and prevention of rusting while on beach. Also make fine enema for thought-constipated Senators from Peoples Republik of Kalifornia...just be sure to use Liberally. Bwahhahahahaha!

User avatar
spymyeyes wrote:Well comrades, I think the only "assault" weapons out there today are used by the photogs that take pictures for money. Just look at this shot of the good senator enjoying a rare moment of peace at her home yelling at her neighbor and drinking an elite brew......

OFFENSIVE IMAGE REMOVED by Red Square

Not beer in right hand, Comrade. Actually is bottle of FEMADouche®. Due to sequestration, now must be supplied to masses in recycled Michelob bottles. Hot chick in still photo actually taking part in State-produced sex hygiene film for showing to grade K-5 elementary school students.


User avatar
geoff wrote:Much better to use FP-10 or MPro 7 LPX. Both far superior for purposes of personal lubrication and prevention of rusting while on beach.
I'm a fan of MPro-7 myself; but even the fine folks at MPro-7 point out that, while their cleaner IS superior, it's perfectly acceptable to open a bottle of Hoppe's #9 whilst cleaning your weaponry, just for the memories, smell, and ambiance :)

User avatar
I actually saw a fly land on my monitor screen a minute ago! Really. In the dead of winter! ROCK-Is this is a ill omen or should I rejoice!

User avatar
Comrade Craptek, I can only assume that you had an image of Dear President Barackzebub Hussein Obama on your monitor at the time, in which case the fly's appearance is simply a natural attraction on the part of the fly, regardless of season.

It's important to note that an image of Dear Leader MAY leave a temporary resonance on one's monitor for a short period of time even after you have moved on to other things, say perfume ads, weaponry, and the like; therefore, even if an image of the president is NOT currently on the screen when a fly lands, there COULD still be a relationship; let's face it, he draws them like, well, flies.

BUT - if there has, in fact, been no representation of President Barackzebub Hussein Obama on your monitor in the last, say, hour or so and a fly lands - well, summer could be right around the corner. Where I live, I'd rejoice for just a hint of spring, myself.

User avatar
Comrade ROCK,

Thank you for that explanation. I was beginning to worry, but since my favorite background image and screen saver are so very comforting on my 27" monitor I will enjoy and maybe even begin naming the flies! Peace be with you.

Obama everywhere jpg.jpg


 
POST REPLY