Comrades,

Dim the lights, turn down the music, switch off the phones and TV's. No, you're not preparing for a romantic evening with your spouse or latest (insert appropriate gender) lover. It's better than that! It's "Sensory Friendly Sunday" at Target!

Boston, MA - Dec 10, 2017: A local Target store is offering a one-day shopping experience tailored to those who find difficulty with holiday shopping or have a sensitivity to loud noises and bright lights. The Framingham, Massachusetts, store on Cochituate Road is
partnering with the Asperger/Autism Network for "Sensory Friendly Shopping Hours" on Sunday, from 7 to 10 a.m.

During those hours, the store will shut off music, dim lights and minimize flashing screens. [highlight=#ffff00]There will also be a quiet corner where guests can relax[/highlight]. "This is the first time we have held such an event," said Dania Jekel, executive director of the Aspergers/Autism Network. "Many people with special needs avoid shopping, so this is a way to help everyone feel welcome."

Here at the spacious Craptek REAL-NEWS Center at Oak & Pine, we say bravo to Target for their inclusive and profoundly anti-capitalist/pro-smiley face inventiveness! As is the case with all progressive plans, it's a good start. But, there's more work to be done! (much more)

Feel free to suggest a plan for next Sunday, and,...of course, Next Tuesday^tm

Dear Comrade Craptek,

I am a huge fan of REAL-NEWS! I personally feel very offended by stores that charge money for their products. All the price tags on stuff that I cannot afford give me the feeling that I do not count in this capitalistic, patriarchal society. Is it true that Next Tuesday ™ all stores will offer everything for free?

Minitrue wrote:Is it true that Next Tuesday ™ all stores will offer everything for free?

FREE STUFF? Oh, I think I'm coming down with Altzheimer's Asperger's...

And to maintain the quietude, all complaints and/or cries for help from ciswomen will be stifled when transwomyn and burlymen walk into their restrooms and dressing rooms. Target has indeed become the most sensitivitest locale in the kollektive.

.
I've never seen Captain Craptek so happy!
He was being 'escorted' through his local Target.

(When they're toes to toes he's got his nose in it,
and when they're nose to nose he's got his toes in it!)
.

Target should hold these events about once a month on the night of the full moon, when all the all the folks who had been previously bitten by transgenders in Target's bathrooms will be transitioning into creatures of the opposite sex.

It would require a quiet corner or a bathroom stall where a frail, female-identified professor of gender studies can find solitude as her muscles suddenly begin to bulge, ripping her clothes, her hands and feet triple in size, her facial features coarsen and hairs begin to spring out, covering her entire body and the lower part of her face. And finally, the fly of her pantsuit bursts open, letting the terrible manhood out, striving for the full moon in the invisible sky.

I think I've just stumbled over an idea for the eighth season of the American Horror Story series, titled "A Tour of Targets' Bathrooms." Or it could be a spinoff feature, "A Nightmare in Aisle Six."

Having this happen at Target makes total sense, given that every transitioning were-gendered person will need a full new set of clothes.

.
I just received an emergency communiqué from Ivan the Stakhanovets demanding to be included in a Target shopping image.

I do what I'm told!
.

A long time ago, I discovered an alternate solution to this: Shopping online!

Mikhail Lysenkomann wrote:

Minitrue wrote:Is it true that Next Tuesday ™ all stores will offer everything for free?

FREE STUFF? Oh, I think I'm coming down with Altzheimer's Asperger's...

No problem. Take two doses of Sandercillian and call me in the morning.

- SK

Commissarka Pinkie wrote:A long time ago, I discovered an alternate solution to this: Shopping online!

You can't do that any more, Pinkie. Didn't you hear that Net Neutrality was done away with yesterday?

KKKapitalists, following orders from Corporations, have now made Buying Stuff From Kapitalist Online Stores impossible!

Oh, wait a minute...

I am surprised that we are still "shopping" and "buying" at all. Should we not be spreading the wealth and goods around, i.e., from each according to xer abilities, to each according to xer needs, and all that? I am confused....

Amiland's ur-Marxian "proletariat" gone, latest post-WW2: upward-moved into (generally) happy middle-class.

Ersatz-proletariat #1, blacks of post-60s: morphed (generally) into a collective fixture of Moonbat plantation.
Ersatz-proletariat #2, "people of color", since late 80s: kinda limping dud, its "revolushun" wasn't televised.
Ersatz-proletariat #3, LGBT, of mid-90s: now saturated and flaccid; added QQIP2SAAZYXETC, yet "revo"-aura gone.
Ersatz-proletariat #4, post/pan/trans/DIY/genderism, of 2000s: insane delusions to coalesce into "revolushun"? hahaha.
Ersatz-proletariat #5, phallologocentrically oppressed womynhood, of 2016: all pussyhat and no "battle"... poofff!

Ersatz-proletariat #6? of 2017? on the (engineered, as always) rise?: the..... Aspergers?