Comrades,

The People's Navy was granted a 32 billion grant by the U.S Government to research and come up with a green product that will lead us into the glorious future as a green economy, in harmony with nature and no longer plagued by so called 'market forces" that drive the "private sector".

I have Glorious News to unveil for the masses. It is with pleasure to announce the most useful invention since the discovery of the wheel to advance our progressive social ideas and progress and socialist benefits to the masses.

It not only fights global warming, it also revolutionizes collective farming of the beet fields as Comrades can now dig knowing they are now totally eco-friendly. Proof positive that the Government does not waste money on useless research or product development and that they are good stewards of the taxpayers dollars.

Comrades!!!!!!!

Commodore Snoogie,

We also need to remind our loyal proles who perhaps lack the high-tech skills necessary to operate the new shovel-ready shovel that we still have a large inventory of Passive-Technology items such as the GAIA HAT to provide additional stimulus to the soon-approaching, exponential stimulation of new Green Jobs making Green Products:





--Gorbels Cube

By its sound scientific logic alone, this idea is so well thought out that it could have only come from our Dear Leader's science advisor, John Holdren, himself.

It's that good !

I took it upon myself to do some quick numbers crunching and concluded the following :

If every person wore one of these hats, the would equal 214 sq. miles of reflective surface. Since the Earth has 198 million sq. miles of surface, that means: All of these hats would reflect one part for every 925,233 parts of incoming sunlight.

And it would only cost approx. 70 billion dollars !


As servants of Gaia, we must ask ourselves this question:Is this too much of a price to pay to save the Earth for our children ?

Buy yours TODAY!

Krasnodar wrote:
Buy yours TODAY!

Actually... buy 2 and do even more for Gaia and your pocketbook.

(Are proles allowed to save money to assist Gaia? I await The Party response)

The answer is NO !

Darski, " Savings " is an entirely capitalist concept , and therefore evil. For instance, if people are allowed to save, then that means they will have reserve capital, enabling them to be less dependent upon needing financial assistance. Or it can also imply that they would have more capital to acquire additional goods and services.

So where does Government come into this picture? The answer is NOWHERE.

The wisdom of government spending tells us that any and all funds available ( O.P.M. ) must mandatorily be spent on anything it wants you to pay for.

I hope this has been helpful to you.
Remember, never save..... SPEND, SPEND, SPEND ! Then get another credit card and spend some more !

So when the bottom falls out of the economy, the gov't will own you.
I'm sure that all here would call that real " Social Security " !

Do they take ObamaCard™? I really need to get a couple of these shovels; beet season is right around the corner, and my beet vodka cupboard is nearly bare.

As we move into 2012, let's not forget one of the biggest, most important of the many Shovel-Ready Green Jobs in all of 2011:



--KOOK

Commodore Snoogie Woogums wrote:32 billion grant -
It is with pleasure to announce the most useful invention since the discovery of the wheel to advance our progressive social ideas and progress and socialist benefits to the masses.

Simply BRILLIANT, Commodore Snoogie, The Peoples Navy under your astute leadership is to be commended. With this revolutionary tool we will be able to get out the Vote in record numbers this year thus guaranteeing Supremest of all Dear Leaders at least 4 more years to totally destroy fundamentally transform AmeriKa into our progressive utopia! At a mere $32B, to boot! Bravo!