Comrades, it's a small price to pay - but I've been noticing my internet speeds getting significantly slower lately. My usual 18 Mbps or so that I pay for is now down to 2.5 Mbps.

I'm not complaining, because I'm sure it takes a lot of bandwidth to keep our country gloriously safe and secure! And I know they'd never target me, R.O.C.K in the USSA, a virtual paragon of Progressive Goodness!

Yes, I'm willing to give up a essential response time for a little temporary safety - aren't you?

Comrade R.O.C.K.,

Similar to you, my internet speed slowed to a crawl just this past week. Immediately after tweeting some glorious news about Dear Leader's (PBUH) "Lenin-like" teflon qualities, things changed slightly. I went from your earlier speed and 10% CPU usage to 100% CPU usage and 2 MBPS. I think it was caused by the silly malware and the rascal rootkit virus which both slipped past my antimalware and antivirus software. Strange coincidence. I deserved the 7 days of deleting code and time spent removing these nasty buggers for not punctuating my tweet properly.

Red Walrus

FORWARD

My fabulous 7 MBPS DSL line has maintained its dazzling speed, but Dear Leaders glorious image now remains on my monitor for 23 out of 24 hours a day. Worse, the 1 hour of connectable time appears randomly making communication difficult. However, I'm sure I did something deserving this corrective action. I'm not complaining...really!

R.O.C.K. in the USSA wrote:
I'm not complaining, because I'm sure it takes a lot of bandwidth to keep our country gloriously safe and secure! And I know they'd never target me, R.O.C.K in the USSA, a virtual paragon of Progressive Goodness!

Yes, I'm willing to give up a essential response time for a little temporary safety - aren't you?

Surely Comrade, if the Party targets you in the upcoming purges we are all doomed to a life in Siberia, or worse yet, Flyover land - forever devoid of our Dear Leader's glorious light. I am willing to not only trade high speed Internet but all communication methods with non Party media organs for my own safety and that of the entire USSA. FORWARD

Captain Craptek wrote:My fabulous 7 MBPS DSL line has maintained its dazzling speed, but Dear Leaders glorious image now remains on my monitor for 23 out of 24 hours a day. Worse, the 1 hour of connectable time appears randomly making communication difficult. However, I'm sure I did something deserving this corrective action. I'm not complaining...really!

You did 'did something deserving this corrective action' and NSA knows it!

Perhaps more time spent on Hillary's new Twitter feed and less time on youvegottail.com would also help!!

Good news Comrades, the IRS thing is all wrapped up. Gives rise to new generation of comedians.

Comrade Walrus, fortunately my System Idle Process remains in the high 90s - it's just the interwebs, in my case, that have slowed down. My ISP said the usual - restart everything, blah blah blah, but it accomplished no good thing.

Therefore, I must humbly accept that, much like Marley's chains in A Christmas Carol A Winter Festival Carol, the safety and security of the glorious USSA shall be my chain to bear, my cross to carry.

It's worth it, comrades.

FORWARD!

Comrade Putout wrote:

Captain Craptek wrote:My fabulous 7 MBPS DSL line has maintained its dazzling speed, but Dear Leaders glorious image now remains on my monitor for 23 out of 24 hours a day. Worse, the 1 hour of connectable time appears randomly making communication difficult. However, I'm sure I did something deserving this corrective action. I'm not complaining...really!

You did 'did something deserving this corrective action' and NSA knows it!

Perhaps more time spent on Hillary's new Twitter feed and less time on youvegottail.com would also help!!

Don't be jealous Putout. We can share Craptek.

Oh dear. This morning I received an email from a friend - again - that I'd already received back in March.

OOOPS!

Incidentally, here's a link for a private search engine that I highly recommend:

https://www.wnd.com/2013/06/this-company-doesnt-share-your-online-info/

[color=#C0392B]R.O.C.K. in the USSA[/color] who apparently has a friend wrote:Oh dear. This morning I received an email from a friend - again - that I'd already received back in March.

OOOPS!

Tell me about it R.O.C.K.!

I have received this from 'you' seven times this year...

The NSA knows I like PBR!

[color=#C0392B]Amy the Squirrel[/color] was delusional when she wrote:Don't be jealous Putout. We can share Craptek.

Negative!

Crappy it's me or Amy... remember last year's Squirrel Appreciation Day?

Me. You. A gallon of peanut oil.

How could I possibly forget the night you taught me to prole dance?

R.O.C.K. in the USSA wrote:Oh dear. This morning I received an email from a friend - again - that I'd already received back in March.

OOOPS!

Incidentally, here's a link for a private search engine that I highly recommend:

https://www.wnd.com/2013/06/this-company-doesnt-share-your-online-info/

I do get a little hesitant about some of the searches I do finding the far end of subjects discussed here.

Not to worry, Comrade People's Comrade - just remember that the feral government and their wholly owned subsidiaries, Google, Facebook, Microsoft, Verizon, Yahoo, and just about everybody else who has anything to do with the internet or other communications have ONLY your best interests at heart.

As Comrade Eric Schmidt once correctly stated, "If you have something that you don't want anyone to know maybe you shouldn't be doing it in the first place."

I'm sure the British felt the same way.

Someone once said, anyone who believes that "just because you are innocent means you have nothing to worry about", has either never been involved in a legal entanglement or is lying. But we say, if you can't trust the state, who can you trust.

ThePeoplesComrade wrote:Someone once said, anyone who believes that "just because you are innocent means you have nothing to worry about", has either never been involved in a legal entanglement or is lying. But we say, if you can't trust the state, who can you trust.

From tumblr: