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Comrades, there seems to be a fuss in the news of a Florida mailman (a double sexist title if ever there was one...) landing a gyrocopter on the capitol lawn to deliver junk mail to the members of Congress...

YAWN. It's been done. By a teenager. In a bigger aircraft. 28 years ago. At the Kremlin.

Mathias Rust: German teenager who flew to Red Square

I have heard rumors around the beet field that the mail man is kurrently being held in Chikagostan's Homan Avenue luxury KGB jail and being force fed McDonalds hamburgers until he signs a konfession stating he was unauthorized to use the US Postal Service logo on his gyrokopter rudder.

I have also heard rumors that he is under investigation for being a "shadowy character" who could be useful as a skapegoat in an upkoming politikal skandal.

This clown does not impress me. A federal postal carrier, carrying letters, in a vehicle marked with the USPS logo stops at the address where the letters were to be delivered causes a ruckus? Nonsense.

The Soviets had live missiles, tracked young Matthias Rust on radar, and he landed in the KREMLIN! On a mission to bring Peace (for the Children, no doubt)! That kid was equipped with large brass "spheres of courage."

If I remember, an Air Defense General was (cough) relieved of command (wink, wink...) over that event.

Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:...The Soviets had live missiles, tracked young Matthias Rust on radar, and he landed in the KREMLIN! On a mission to bring Peace (for the Children, no doubt). That kid was equipped with large brass spheres of courage. If I remember, an Air Defense General was (cough) relieved of command (wink, wink...) over this event.

As usual, I am konfused, komrade Ivan. Back in the day, the Soviets relied on binoculars and low tek analog vacuum tube teknology to track Matthias Rust. Okay, so maybe a plane kould slip through a crack in the iron curtain. So why did the mail man sail ino the heart of the Distrikt of Corruption Kolumbia so easily when we have the NSA, the DHS, and the EIEIO looking out for our "safety" and "sekurity" with hundreds of billions of dollars worth of high tek surveillance gear and sekurity/defense systems?? What is even more konfusing is the fakt that the mailman went way out of his way to publikly inform everyone for years that he was going to do this.

Comrade Gummy, recall that for our own safety, all federal firearms are being funneled through Deparment of Justice to equip our allies in the Mexican Cartels--a silly process since the requisite millions of rounds of ammunition remain in federal warehouses! The mailman did his job.

If I announce that I'm going to tend beets using a D-handled shovel instead of my issued straight handled shovel, and I tend my beets and meet my quota, at this point, what difference does it make?

I remembered the days that we shoot first and ask later. It was like it was yesterday.

The mail(femail)person was a big prog with a prog message of taking money out of politics and replacing it with government.

Under the circumstances, the DC authorities merely avoided friendly fire. I wouldn't be surprised if this were a prearranged stunt to boost the Democratic election season.

This lone puppy enthusiast was talking about it for a long time but did nothing. Finally he was heard and promised a safe passage. Just in time for the election season. That's just my theory, but I admit I haven't cleaned my tinfoil hat in a while.

(ahem) yes, Red Square, about that...

Dear Leader (PBUH) shown defending his home from aerial attack...

[color=#C0392B]Ivan the Stakhanovets[/color] was being way too hard on himself when he wrote:This clown does not impress me.

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Well I was very impressed!
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I thought we had lost one of the finest tractor mechanics in the U.S.S.A.!
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Your flying machine burst into flames on impact and you were on fire for a few seconds but look at you standing there all proud and such! You the man Ivan!
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About that picture of my butt... I thought we had agreed on a specific purpose for those 'images?'
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Telephone conversation (first transcript) monitored by NSA 20 minutes after conclusion of the FAA hearing on the gyrocopter event:

"Good Afternoon, Honest Juan's Gyrocopter Mercado, this is Pablo, can I help you?
Yes, my name is Ibrahim (cough) call me Joe. I need a dozen gyrocopters that can carry a pilot and about 300 kilos of explos (cough) sorry, CARGO, do you carry these? Yes? Are they the ones that look like a flock of birds or a kite on infidels (cough) sorry, FAA air Traffic RADAR? Allah akhba (cough) golly, that's super! (sounds of celebration in background)

Señor Joe, I can have these for you Next Tuesday, would you like a credit application? No, i'm afraid Iranian Express card is not acceptable. Cash you say? No Problemo! Would you like pilots' safety helmets for each? I thought not..."


(transcript ends, garbled voices and odd-sounding language heard. This holds no intelligence value. Do not forward for further analysis, but copy for use in Christmas Party "bloopers" and outtakes tape...")

A few things about Doug. I happened to be the president of the club where he trained and got help from. He was always a weirdo and a staunch Obama supporter. Big union guy as you can imagine. He was NOT a paid member of my club and he was just hanging around enough so he could mooch things off of others. What is really said about the whole thing is that he didn't even own the rotor blades he flew with. They were loaned to him to learn to fly with.
The day he decided to pull the stunt was the same day as we were opening the largest Gyro event in the whole world Bensen Days.
I was on the phone till 2 am with CNN, NBC, Good morning America and so on.
I simply refused the permit for them to do a live shot as they were not interested in the gyro event but rather trying to make a political statement.
I loved the reaction when I told them that I had not much to say about that Liberal Obama supporter who is obviously mentally disturbed but not for landing where he landed but for supporting the POTUS.
Every time I said that it got very quiet the other end of the phone line.
While trying to run a huge event I had to deal with the feds going through hangars looking for God knows what.
In typical liberal fashion Doug pulled off the stunt and we had to clean up after him.
I loved how they quickly made a hero out of him and let him go.
I can't help myself thinking if he was a teaparty guy..........