Image

Socialism 2007

User avatar
Comrades!

Chicago 1968?
No! Chicago 2007. Denver 2008!
You have the Signal!
Now MARCH!

From here:
https://www.socialismconference.org/

To there:
https://www.demconvention.com/

Help us make the journey and we will be VICTOIOUS!
<suspended nervous applause>



Tip of the Hat to Zampolit....

User avatar
You all may stop the applause and sit down.
I'm done clapping.

Our goal is to make sure this journey is made Comrades!
To the barricades!

User avatar
Ugh, always making us go to TWO PARTY CONFERENCES! Completely absurd!

No, I only plan on going to the Democrat Party Convention this time around and here's why:

1 - I'm not sitting next to Amy Goodman again, she smells bad.

2- I'm not paying top dollar to buy tickets to the same show. What will be discussed at Socialism 2007 will be discussed (and catered, mind you) at the Party convention in Denver.

3 - None of my friends will be at Socialism 2007 (nor my enemies... I got my eye on you Howard! YOUR OFFICE WILL BE MINE SOMEDAY!).

4 - The weak socialist will be creaming their designer jeans over lost relics of the past. Why sit around talking about the glory days when hard communism is right around the corner with Her Excellency? Huh? Someone explain the purpose of dwelling on a by-gone era?

5 - The media will be all over the Party convention in Denver allowing us all plenty of opportunities for media whoring... need I say more?

6- The Party convention will have A-list celebs, musical performances, hookers, booze, limousines and plenty of stupid rich broads for me to chat up (that is if Kerry doesn't attend... and he shouldn't after what he did to us in '04)

Your Excellency, why we let these hacks have their "conference" is beyond me... I always thought of it as a way to milk a few dollars from the young confused college drones looking for a "higher" purpose and visions of utopia (idiots). But to make Party officials - already skilled in Party doctrine and truth - to attend this poorly under funded and shoddy production is just silly. If anyone should be sent to baby-sit these proceedings it should be <thinking of someone to suffer in my place> PRAVDA! Yes, Pravda should go... let him go and supervise the kids.

Dammit... some prole in the kitchen has Doctor Zhivago on again! Ugh, I wrote an angry letter last week to a network exec. demanding that that counter-revolutionary film should never be shown under any condition! Piss, that will be the third cook this week I will have to let go. <pulls out pistol> Excuse me for a few minutes, comrades. <walks down to kitchen> ................. *BANG*............... <sounds of feet walking up stairs>......... Alright, as I was saying. It's just foolish for me to have to go to two Party conferences and this "socialism 2007" crap is just cruel and unusual punishment.

-- Meow

User avatar
Now you listen to me young man!
You're going or it's the gulag.
It's at the Crowne Plaza, for Stalin's Sake! What more could you want Meow?
You know I need these useful idiots to make me look like a strong Communis....er I mean...ah... Moderate, yes, a strong Moderate in 2008
Don't worry about the tab. As a trustee of PU, I made sure it was picked up through the honorarium fund.
And quit whining about Amy. I've got you an adjoining luxury suite with Krissy Keefer and free dancing lessons thrown in to boot.
Now pack your black pajamas, Mao suit, thong, and rubber underwear and get your little socialist schlong to Dulles where I have an InfoUSA Lear jet waiting for you.
Chop Chop!

Image
H08

User avatar
The Crowne Plaza is a dump.... but I'll go. Hmmm... what to wear, what to wear? I don't think my gimp outfit is back from the cleaners yet... but I do have some leather chaps around here somewhere. Let me see, toothbrush? No, won't be needing that... not if I'm sitting next to Amy (appearance is of no consequence at this event). Hmmm... better pack some rubber sheets as well.... no, room service can just change the sheets for me since I won't be picking up the tab (they charge for pissy sheets last time I checked, went through at least 30 while at the Bellagio in Vegas). Hmmm, what am I forgetting... oh, my sunglasses, can't forget them... they will come in handy when someone is speaking (don't want anyone to know that I'm either A. Drunk or B. Sleeping).


Toodles everyone... I go now for the Party!

User avatar
Oh! Oh! Can I go with you Chairman? Ever since you scraped the robotics project, I have had nothing to do except sit in my condo and research the open courseware service from MIT at tax payers expense; well, except for getting rare rat and seal meat for members of the party.

User avatar
<off character>

Hey gang....Has anybody here ever read "Man and His Symbols" by Carl Jung?
Notice the prodigious use of "band aids" on the convention site.
At first glance you don't notice it, but as you peruse the site it becomes more obvious.
I was going to write something funny but it just dumbfounded me that Dean and the other idiots at the DNC approved the graphics layout and design.
Are they that stupid?
Of course, then again, it's a Karl Rove plot. He put a saboteur on the DNC web designing team.

User avatar
Laika the Space Dog wrote:Hey gang....Has anybody here ever read "Man and His Symbols" by Carl Jung?
Notice the prodigious use of "band aids" on the convention site.

Talk about the Freudian slip...

Band-Aid /ˈbændˌeɪd/
1. Trademark. a brand of adhesive bandage with a gauze pad in the center, used to cover minor abrasions and cuts.
–noun
2. (often lowercase) Informal. a makeshift, limited, or temporary aid or solution that does not satisfy the basic or long-range need: The proposed reform isn't thorough enough to be more than just a band-aid.
–adjective
3. (often lowercase) Informal. serving as a makeshift, limited, or temporary aid or solution: band-aid measures to solve a complex problem.

Did you notice the site has this vintage look, sort of like inviting Americans to the glory old days of yellowed pinups attached with band-aids to faded wallpaper at some hospital during the Great Depression when the socialist Democrats ruled? Oh, those were the days, my friend, we thought they'd never end... The Unions, the Mob, the Dole, and Massive Public Works... That's the legendary spirit and the Look&Feel™ the DNC is going for.

So let's help them with more visual aids:

Image
<img width=318 src=https://thepeoplescube.com/images/BandAid1.jpg>

And, of course, commercial slogans and catch phrases...

- The modern transparent bandage that blends with your skin
- New Super-Stick
- New Overall Air-Vents help keep skin fresh
- Flesh color
- A Speed Bandage for Minor Injuries

Image

User avatar
Why not "West Virginia Chrome" in honor of Senator Byrd?
Everybody knows duct tape works better than band-aids when you have to fix something....like socialist security.
Image This dude is from Texas. Quit oogling Theocritus. We know how much you want a duct tape trench coat.

Band-Aids...?
I'm still bewildered.
Think of how much cold cash the lame web designer (probably Dean's second cousin or something like that) got for this shitty job for the DNC.
I bet it cost a million $$$ and Dean kept half.
Meow, stop drooling.

User avatar
I thought that we used red tape for things like socialist security. When did we switch to duck tape?

User avatar
What about twigs and mud?
Spider webs?
How about a nice spray can of Stickum?
Image I think they could use a "Grip Enhancer" for Reality and I'm not talkin' TV!

User avatar
RedtheProgressiveFox wrote:I thought that we used red tape for things like socialist security. When did we switch to duck tape?

That is not "Duck" tape. It is silver colored red tape.

User avatar
That clears things up, I can live with the fact that it is not actually "red" in color, it just has to still be red tape. So I guess that chick in the duct-tape outfit if really dressed in red? What should we go with? One man's silver is another man's red? Or Silver is the new red?

User avatar
Duct tape. How droll. Rednecks use it to fix everything. And Laika, dear, I do not want duct-tape trench coat. When I want to flash people I do it without a trench coat. After all, if it's good enough for me, then it's good enough for anyone.

In fact I'm going to propose that, led by the example of the DNC's openness and transparency, that we outlaw walls on bathrooms. If we got used to the sight of people openly straining at the toilet in our homes, it would not be nearly as much of a shock to see it on national television.

Also I'm going to require that everyone have an abbatoir in the backyard, even the vegans. Toughens 'em up for the needed purge.

Damn it. Where is that pig's head on a stick? Golding? Golding! Macht snell!

User avatar
I once had a co-worker that hung himself from the rafters using red tape. Supposedly he feared for his life after I ratted him out for a Happy Meal... which to this day still remains my primary vice (among booze, hookers, corruption, OPM and other trite behavior that tickles my fancy). There is something about the Happy Meal which makes me feel warm inside... and when I say warm I am not referring to the warm that I usually feel after dropping a load of revolution in my britches. No, this warm is soothing, especially when the toy I want is discovered under the sea of greasy French fries. It's a feeling of instant-gratification which cannot be described for it will trigger counter-revolutionary thoughts in the mind of a weak liberal.

<sigh>

Moving along.... duct tape fashion is the latest craze in progressive circles world-wide. People are lining up in the rationing queue to get their smelly little paws all over the phenomenon that is duct tape. It's shiny, water-proof and will stick to the body longer than candle wax when engaging in activities of a questionable progressive nature.

User avatar
Or how about this silver? It's real!

Image
Owned by Sheikh Zayed bin Sultan Al Nahyan. (Former prez. o' da UAE)

User avatar
I see that the oil business is healthier than I had thought for him to afford this. How nice to have this to drive to the camel races.

User avatar
Image
to drive to the camel races.
Well, it seems to me that RedtheProgressiveFox has been moonlighting since things have been slow at the Ministry of Wildlife and Robotics.
Living large, tooling around with the Sheikh and his shiny car and Michael Jackson in the back seat...off to the Triple Crown Throroughbred Camel Races with the Sheikh's robot camel jockey that he designed.
Who's the favorite at the Al-Belmonti this Saturday?

User avatar
Laika, funny you should ask. It's Muhammad al-Baradei. They've found that if you put a nuclear weapon behind him he can break the sound barrier trying not to see it. The problem is that you can't get coverage for the dust kicked up by the Nobel committee rushing right behind him to give him a prize for Pig-Blind to the Evidence. This is, by the way, the only time that you will ever see a socialist in a tearing hurry without OPM in his sight.

Oh. This is to give away OPM.

When Mo wins the Al-Belmonti and the Kuwaiti Derby, he goes to meet Allah and has 74 virgins, instead of 73, and they have been bathed.

User avatar
My Dear Comrade, Chairman M. S. Punchenko wrote:
1 - I'm not sitting next to Amy Goodman again, she smells bad.


Meow,

Take it easy. And take your meds with you too! I heard what happned the last time. It's a good thing that the party has connections inside the police forces through out Amerika. Just don't forget to take your meds, as well.

I heard last week on Entertainment Tonight that Amy Goodman took a bath last month. Rumor has it her masters at Pacifica got tired of the fumes wafting upstairs into their offices.

--
Zampolit B. S. Blokhayev

User avatar
I have been so isolated here in Rancho de Rio Grande that I had to google Amy Goodman. Now, boys, I realize that she may stink but she's doing Stalin's work, leading the useful idiots. After all, someone needs to stoke their rage and roil their innards and she's fit for the job.

Now I know what you are not saying about how she smells. But to acclimate yourself to it, merely get a three-day old fish at the local fishmonger's and put it on your coffee table, on copies of <i>The Nation</i> where it will feel right at home. After another week or so, it won't take more than one or two Oxys to be able to sit next to her.

But beware. She might grope you. If you wish, I'll FedEx you some rainbow badges that I confiscated from Bruno and his Dancing Queens that'll make you seem to be, well, queer as a three-dollar bill. She might leave you alone.

But then she might not. I've found that some women view it as a challenge. No kidding. That would be a high-stakes game, but you could forestall her by prating endlessly about needing respect for your genderhood and your identity issues, and you need to convince her that you're not really just a wannabe.

I've got it. I'll see if I can't get Disney's Animatronics division, when they're not working on the Gorobot, to make one of the BEQ and you can imitate that. But start off slowly--you can strain an eye muscle with all that rolling.

<b>And don't drink anything when you sit next to her</b>. You think that there's not that much whiskey in the west, but what if she uses and old gypsy curse and puts her menstrual blood in it?

User avatar
Laika the Space Dog wrote:Tip of the Hat to Zampolit....

And the Zampolit proudly salutes The People's Friend, proudly serving the proletariat since 1957!!!

--

User avatar
Laika the Space Dog wrote:<off character>

Hey gang....Has anybody here ever read "Man and His Symbols" by Carl Jung?
Notice the prodigious use of "band aids" on the convention site.
At first glance you don't notice it, but as you peruse the site it becomes more obvious.
I was going to write something funny but it just dumbfounded me that Dean and the other idiots at the DNC approved the graphics layout and design.
Are they that stupid?
Of course, then again, it's a Karl Rove plot. He put a saboteur on the DNC web designing team.

Did you see the logo (symbol) for the convention? What happened to the Hammer and Sickle? Damn that Rove! I want them to put the Hammer and Sickle BACK as a symbol of The Democratic Party!!!

--

User avatar
Of course, Zampolit, of course. But let's go farther and have DNC coins--the RepubliKKKans make them to the Democrats' specifications and the Democrats pass them around. One the head is a picture of Our Many Titted Empress and on the tail a concentration camp.

After all, we don't want to fall afoul of the Deceptive Trades Practices Act, which provides for triple damages.


 
POST REPLY